Welcome To The PPC: Agents Falchion & Rashida
by SkarmorySilver
Summary: From the archives of the Protectors of the Plot Continuum. Agents Falchion and Rashida take on a massive multi-player crossover, complete with some uncomfortable flashbacks, in 'Connecting The Dots'.
1. Prologue: Moving In

_DISCLAIMER: The following story, 'Connecting The Dots', has been posted here to serve as an introduction to the Protectors of the Plot Continuum. If you enjoy it, Agents Falchion and Rashida's other missions can be found by searching Google for 'Falchion PPC'. All PPC stories are written by permission of the PPC community, which can be requested on the PPC Posting Board._

 _I do not own any of the continua featured in this mission. I do, however, own the characters Falchion (whose home continuum,_ Pokémon _, belongs to Nintendo, Satoshi Tajiri and Game Freak) and Rashida Mafdetiti._

 _The badfic being sporked, "Rise of the Galeforces", belongs to myself and my friend georgemiser on DeviantART, like it or not; the fic can be found in the gallery of my DeviantART account, Shadow-Aspect, under the folder,_ _"The Incredibles - Rise of the Galeforces"_ _._

* * *

 **Prologue: Moving In**

Falchion had always liked his airspace. That was the way Skarmory in general had always been, being able to fly freely through the open sky, their armored bodies meaning next to nothing compared to their strength and vitality. So this one was naturally disappointed to learn that the hallways of the PPC Headquarters were far too short to allow flight under any reasonable capacity.

The indignity of being forced to walk from place to place was of little consequence to the Armor Bird Pokémon, however, for he knew that he was going to have air under his wings again pretty soon. It was simply a matter of waiting — even if it had already been three days.

His talons clicking upon the Generic Floor, Falchion was currently admiring the Floaters flashpatch, decked out with a nice little water lily flower print, mounted on his utility collar. The elastic black strap made for a snug fit but did not restrict his breathing, and aside from the patch, it also carried his Universal Translator and his Bag of Holding. He liked looking at the little details of things and any related activities thereof, such as counting each and every petal upon his flash patch insignia several times over as if making sure whomever made the badge got the number right. It also made for a convenient distraction in a place where you have to not think about your destination to get there.

As such, it didn't take long for him to reach the door of his designated RC. He checked the number — had he misheard that last digit upon receiving it? — before pecking at it several times. The door opened, allowing the winged Steel-type to step inside.

While most RCs had Generic Surfaces for walls, this one was a bit different. Someone had clearly covered most of the walls with an unidentifiable substance. Said someone happened to be taking care of the last few bare areas on the recently redecorated far side of the room.

"Um, hi," Falchion chirped hesitantly. "Is this RC #227?"

"No, this is Bad Slash," said the woman-headed, winged, oversized white cat who was — somehow — using the paintbrush she was holding in her forepaw with a surprising amount of skill, for someone apparently without opposable thumbs. "Of course you're in RC #227! It gives me such joy to think that you honestly got the number wrong."

Falchion felt a few droplets of something sticky — presumably Sar-Plasm, as FicPsych had told him to expect a lot of it — splatter onto the side of his head. He let out a squawk of surprise and tried to wipe the stuff off on the Generic Floor, as the same substance was apparently covering the walls of the RC rather like wet paint, and the Sphinx's previous statement had gotten a large splattering of it onto the wall as well. This agent was surely possessing of a pretty sharp tongue if she was going to use the stuff in that way.

"You missed a spot," he said after failing to wipe the stain off, indicating a bare patch of Generic Surface that was promptly covered with fresh Sar-Plasm. "And for the record, I was in the right place the moment I ran into you. I was told that I'd be training with you, funnily enough."

"What do you mean, 'funnily enough'?"

"You defeated me in battle three days ago. I thought you'd remember."

She froze, then slowly turned her head a full 180 degrees like an owl to stare at her new lodger. Her glare turned icy as she appraised her shiny new roommate for a full fifteen seconds. Falchion only stared back into her ruby-colored eyes.

"You," she growled finally. "I should've known they'd send me a new chew toy for the Word Worlds to play with. Those weeds must've learned quite a lot from what happened back at Internal Affairs, didn't they?"

Another globule of Sar-Plasm made a mess upon the Skarmory's face (with the rest of it staining the wall once again), and he gave up trying to wipe it off himself and headed over to the bathroom, wondering if he was capable of operating the shower without functional hands of his own. "Personally, I thought they were just fine. The Kudzu was nice enough, at least."

"Don't make me come over there," the woman-headed big cat muttered as she finished off coating the walls of the RC. "FicPsych has not been friendly to me in the slightest, and don't get me started on what Personnel did when they found out that I'd crippled two other agents."

Falchion had just managed to turn the shower handle with his beak when he stood up straight, realizing what she'd just said. For a moment, the only sound in the RC was the shower running.

"How long were they in Medical?" he asked, turning to face her with his head cocked rather like a robin hunting for worms.

"Four months. Give or take. One of them remains at the DIA, and the other is currently in need of a new partner. You do not want to know what the Character Replacement we… took care of… had done to his last one."

"Hey, I've got time," Falchion replied. "Maybe you could provide a detailed explanation about what hap — "

He never got to finish his sentence. For at that moment, some kind of device elsewhere in the RC chose that moment to give off a shrill, ear-splitting…

 **[BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!]**

Falchion screeched in alarm, stumbling back and tripping over his own feet before tumbling into the still-running shower. The Sar-Plasm thankfully hadn't dried and was easily washed away, but this came at the expense of his dignity. The Sphinx, on the other hand, simply growled like an angry Luxray, her hackles up and her ears folded back.

Fuming silently, she strode over and slammed her massive forepaw upon the big red button, nearly denting the console as the beeping stopped, and turned her head to glare towards the shower. "Excuse me? Do you want me to relive that experience all over again? Do you want me to go flamethrower-crazy too soon for general comfort? Do you want to be in the same RC as an angry lioness who won't hesitate to maul every fucking thing within a twenty-cubit radius? Then by all means, ask me to explain what happened. Ask me to relive that disastrous mission that led me to transfer here. Ask me, so I can tell you, be it in plain English or any of the languages inscribed upon the Nut-damned Rosetta Stone: **NO! FUCKING! THANK YOU!** "

The poor Armor Bird Pokémon was too busy flapping madly about in the shower to respond to the angry roar of her last few words, but after a few moments he managed to stand upright again, albeit with much slipping and sliding about on the wet floor. Regaining his balance and turning off the shower handle, he nervously stepped out, picked up a towel with his beak, and began drying his armor with it like a bird preening its feathers, trying to avoid his partner glaring at him spitefully as she took a few deep breaths.

"Sorry," he whimpered finally.

"It's fine," the Sphinx said after she'd managed to calm down. "It's just that I don't like being reminded of my past faults. So you know, behave yourself. By the way, my name is Rashida. And in case I do maul you to death before you properly acclimate yourself, I bid you a belated welcome to the PPC. May I know what they named you?"

"Falchion," the Skarmory responded as he put the towel away, trying to sound pompous but just barely covering up the fright his partner's recent outburst had given him. "That'sAgent Falchion to you, actually. Though I do have to wonder, what does it mean?"

"Well, a falchion is a type of one-handed, one-edged European sword," Rashida explained as she looked over the mission statement. "And the Falchion is the blade of Lucina from _Fire Emblem: Awakening_. Additionally, the term sounds similar to 'falcon', a bird of prey, and from what I've gathered from the source material on your home continuum, you appear to be partially based on the Stymphalian Birds of Greek mythology. So Falchion does sound fitting for an avian beast practically made of knives. Not that you look coordinated enough to use yours, of course."

"Hey, I thought it was fitting," Falchion replied as he strutted over to her. "At least it's better than Fawkes, for what it's worth."

"Fawkes?"

"The name I remember calling myself originally. Yeah, I know, totally unsuitable. I'll explain when we get the time. So, I guess this is my first mission?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

"You mean we're busting a badfic right out of the Poké Ball?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

"Oooookay. Right then, do we just jump in or — ?"

"Not so fast, birdie," Rashida cut him off as she picked up some jewelry she'd brought from who knew where and stuffed it into her Bag of Holding. Somehow. "We need to stop by the Armory first."

"What? Where? Why?"

Her wild growl made him shudder slightly as the whiskers on her cheeks quivered slightly. "We've got a mega-crossover. An ugly one too, by the looks of it."

"So, what gives?"

She looked at the objective again, as though double-checking to make sure she was reading it correctly. "Well, this fic does operate within a 'hub' continuum. I assume you're familiar with _The Incredibles_ , are you not?"

"You mean the best Pixar film of all time, the one that has never been topped before or since? Yeah, it's one of my favorite movies! And don't get me started on my childhood crush on Violet…"

Rashida's momentarily disturbed expression kept him from going any further. "Anyway," she continued after an awkward pause, "the badfic we're due to kill, which is titled 'Rise of the Galeforces' by the way, starts off by crossing over with _Portal_ , and giving Aperture Science technology that they wouldn't normally bother with just to clone some long-dead Supers and kick-start the plot. That is the main 'intruder' franchise initially, though several others are thrown in a few chapters down the line."

"Okay, but I don't exactly see why we're going to need heavy artillery if a Pixar film about superheroes and a video-game about a deadly scientific testing facility are the major continuua involved."

"Not quite. Starting from Chapter 6, a third franchise takes over."

"Which one?"

The console **[BEEEEEEEEEEP!]-** ed again, but Rashida quickly shut it off. Her eyes seemed to flash white for a second as she turned to him, her expression foretelling certain doom for whomever who had written the fic. " _Jurassic Park_ ," she said darkly.

"Oh," Falchion said simply as his yellow eyes widened with fear. He'd heard of that franchise before — the one where resurrected fossil Pokémon rampaged through a theme park, right? Suddenly, Rashida's insistence on preparation sounded completely understandable.

"So, does this mean we're going to have to go to Isla Nublar?"

"Either that or Isla Sorna. I think I'll spare you any of the sordid details, seeing as you're still new to the PPC and I'd rather not dissuade you before your first mission."

"You've dissuaded me plenty, thank you," Falchion quipped as Rashida opened the door and led the way out of the freshly painted RC. "We're still going to go through with this, aren't we?"

"We have to," the Sphinx replied grimly. "We can't just sit around and wait for the badfic to take care of itself. What if a poorly written character is involved?"

"Lemme guess. If the story finishes itself without being KO'd, this 'poorly written character' will be free to invade another continuum, right? Like a parasite that's done infecting one host and propagating to another."

"You're catching on pretty quickly," Rashida observed with a slight tinge of admiration, exploiting the conversation as a convenient distraction as they made their way to the Armory. "Maybe you're not as entirely hopeless as I thought you were. Anyway, here at the PPC, we refer to such characters as 'Mary Sues' or 'Gary Stus'. And yes, they are indeed like parasites to some extent, mooching off of canons and stories and worlds to build their own shallow self-esteem. Everyone they meet either loves them unconditionally or is completely ruined by their existence alone. And, in some cases, the story practically warps to suit their needs."

"Well, 'canons' and 'stories' kinda go over my head," the armored bird replied, "but hey, I wouldn't be happy either if someone tried to mess up my life for their own benefit. May I ask if you could clarify what you just said, though, just in case?"

"Put it this way, Falchion. As a living being, a creature with a mind, a body, and a soul, I am perfectly fine on my own terms. I have fought tooth and claw to survive as long as I have. Others can interact with me freely, and I develop as a character based on my experiences with them."

"True."

"This same standard also applies to the organisms that exist inside of me. Every creature must have a proper balance of microorganisms living in or on them, cleaning up their hides or breaking down sustenance. My digestive bacteria and other symbiotes must and do abide by the ground rules of my biology to survive and maintain us both. Contrast this to, say, the tapeworm which may blunder into my alimentary system and start carelessly absorbing the nutrition I wish to obtain from my prey, or the tick which may cling pathetically to my skin for days on end just to steal my precious blood."

"So, to explain the analogy, you're the continuum, the symbiotes are the characters of the continuum, and the parasites are the Mary Sues?"

"And we, the agents of the PPC, are the oxpeckers that devour the ticks. The pills that poison the tapeworms. We work here because Mary Sues are harmful to the health of the worlds they inflict their leaching presence upon, and we must ensure that these worlds do not die by their filthy graspers." She sighed as they rounded their sixty-third corner. "Of course, parasites attempt to maintain the fitness of their host for as long as possible so they can successfully propagate. Mary Sues, on the other paw, can't care less about what happens to the world they're ruining. I'd call them parasitoids, as in wasps that lay their eggs in caterpillars, but even those life forms are often critical in keeping many pest species in check."

"So calling Mary Sues parasites, or parasitoids, would be an insult to such organisms? I guess that says a lot about how low the PPC thinks of them. The Sues, that is."

"Exactly. Ah, here we are."

The enormous, transparent, but unbelievably thick and durable-looking door slid up as the Sphinx and the Skarmory stepped into the room in question, which was filled with shelves' worth of weapons of every shape and size reaching up to the ceiling.

"So, what are we gonna need for this mission?" Falchion asked, trying not to feel so insignificant in comparison to the sheer amount of firepower stretched out before him.

"Two Heckler and Koch USP pistols with complimentary 31-round .45 ACP caliber ammo packs, and a switchblade for you."

"A switchblade? But I already have these wings here," Falchion pointed out, spreading said appendages to showcase the collection of crimson blades.

Rashida didn't even spare a glance at him as she started picking out the canonical weaponry. "We'll be disguised as humans. If you still want to slice things to ribbons, you'll need an edged weapon."

"Oh, okay," the armored bird replied sadly, folding his wings back up.

Rashida used the jewelry she'd brought earlier as payment for the equipment, but then Falchion decided to purchase a small metallic orb with two glowing orange lines crossing its front as well. Since he had no use for the complimentary Bleeprin packet from his PPC Beginner's Kit (birds and Bleeprin make lousy roommates), he traded it in for the glowy orb, picking it up with his razor-sharp beak while his partner fumed and sputtered incoherently.

"Are you kidding me?!" she roared as they headed out of the Armory. "We are not bringing that to this mission!"

"Bu' ish so glowy a' pre'ey, an I can' jus' s'ar' o' a missio' wif'out some'fin' 'o kee' me occu'fed!" It was so hard to speak while his mouth was full.

"Your apparent love for glowing things is not going to be useful at all, and if anything it'll draw everyone's attention if you don't use it properly. We're leaving it in the RC!"

"Bu' — "

"No ifs, ands, or buts. As soon as we get back, you are putting that thing away, period. Are we clear on this matter?"

He looked at the orb he was holding, and then sighed. "O'ka," he muttered.

In his defense, the glowing thing did help divert Falchion's attention long enough for the agents to make it back to RC #227. The Sar-Plasm was almost dry when the two of them entered, and Falchion set the orb on a random shelf.

"So, did you say we're gonna be disguised as humans?" Falchion asked. "How does that work? Do we need to buy masks and suits or something?"

Rashida gave him her best "Really, now? REALLY?" look before punching in a few commands on a specific part of the console with her forepaw. "There's a Disguise Generator built into the console," she explained. "You'll need to learn how to use it if you want to be successful on the job. Just enter whatever disguise you feel is necessary as long as it's consistent with the canon in question."

"Human, right?" Falchion asked, to which Rashida nodded. The Skarmory then proceeded to peck at the keyboard with his beak, repeating what he'd seen Rashida type in albeit with his own specifications for ethnicity, appearance, clothing, accessories, etc.

Once the disguises were set, Rashida bade him to move aside so she could press the correct sequence of buttons for mission entry, causing a portal to appear in the center of the room. "The Combined Character Analysis Device, neuralyzer, video camera, and notebook and pen should be in your bag along with your pistol and knife. I've got the rest of the firearms, the temporal anchor, and the remote portal device. Are you ready, Agent Falchion?"

"Oh, I was born ready," he replied with a confident smirk. "After you?"

She spared a glower at him for a moment, and then stepped through the portal the console had created. As she vanished into the fic, Falchion looked at the glowy orb from earlier, then back at the portal with an expression of doubt. Why was he beginning to feel that this mission was not going to end well? Of course, facing an angry T. rex would most certainly be fatal if you made one mistake, but there was no backing out now, not with so many continuua smushed together. More importantly, though, was he really going to need that orb? Or was Rashida right to ask him to leave it at the RC?

He snuck the orb into his bag anyway before stepping through the portal. Just in case.


	2. Chapter One: First Impressions

_NOTE: The badfic excerpts shown in this mission will be marked in **boldface.**_

 _Once again, I own only Falchion, Rashida, and the OCs presented in this mission._

* * *

 **Chapter One: First Impressions**

Rashida landed in a Generic Setting, without any definition whatsoever — just a Generic Floor and blank space everywhere. She had chosen her disguise well; she appeared to be a well-muscled African woman in her mid-thirties, with short, curly black hair, a black bulletproof vest over a dark gray T-shirt, fingerless gloves, military camo pants, and combat boots. She wiggled her fingers briefly to make sure she hadn't lost touch with her human disguise, then reached into her Bag of Holding and pulled out her pistol and ammo before loading the firearm. Even if the fic hadn't started yet, she couldn't be too careful.

She had taken a few steps in the direction she was facing when she had entered the fic when she saw a green light just ahead. Before she could identify anything else, though, she heard someone behind her going "Oof!"

She whirled about, her pistol aimed at the sound, and then lowered it while pinching the bridge of her nose. Before her was a wiry, lanky Asian-American teenager with messy black hair, dressed in a long-sleeved black shirt with the Jurassic Park logo, jeans so faded that they were practically gray instead of blue, and black and red sneakers with the same Jurassic Park logo just above each toe. He was lying on his back, kicking his long skinny legs wildly about in a vain attempt to return to an upright stance.

Rashida assessed the situation with a sinking heart. She had had enough experience with a human disguise to be familiar with walking on two legs, but Falchion hadn't, and the fact that a bird's femur is usually short and held parallel to the ground to keep its center of gravity properly balanced wasn't exactly helpful either. There was no way this mission was going to go well on any level.

"When you're done flopping about like you've walked straight out of that _QWOP_ game from a few years ago, we have a crossover to unscramble," she snapped at him.

"Well, don't look at me!" the Skarmory-turned-human squawked at her. "I don't know if a human disguise was such a good idea. Maybe I should've picked an avian form instead of this… this clumsy, hideous – "

"Falchion, if I were you, I would honestly just get the fuck over it," Rashida growled. "I'm not exactly thrilled that we're in the first Pixar continuum with human main characters either, but why should I care? We've got a job to do regardless of any sort of khara we'll inevitably throw at each other. And as the old adage goes, actions speak louder than words, but all your actions are doing right now is giving me a headache. _Man up_ , and _knees down._ "

With that, she grabbed him by the collar and hoisted him off the ground, his legs losing their strength and dangling limply beneath his body. Setting him down so that he was standing upright like a normal person, she released him and stalked off towards the green light, the teenager stumbling behind her, trying not to lose his balance again and topple over. "All righty, then… Man up, knees down… Okay, got it..."

It didn't take him long to get the hang of walking like a human, though the plantigrade stance felt understandably uncomfortable for the disguised avian. By the time he'd joined her, she'd found the source of the green light, which was a black box lying on the Generic Floor. When closed, it looked rather like a lunchbox without the handle, but opened up it revealed a control panel of some kind with a light-emitting sphere at the center. From the aesthetic, it looked a lot like the video display used by Mirage to transmit messages in the movie. Was it a device from the National Supers Agency (NSA)?

As the agents looked closer, the light from the sphere projected a holographic display of two characters – a long-haired teenage girl and a ten-year-old boy with short, swept-back hair – causing Falchion to stumble backward with a squawk of surprise and land on his bottom. Once he got a better look, he could identify the two figures right away as the two older children of the Parr family, but before he could make any comments on the girl's appearance, she opened her mouth to speak, and the story began.

 **[Vi:] Hello everyone. I'm Violet Parr, aka Invisigirl, proud member of The Incredibles.**

 **[Dash:] And I'm her annoying little brother, Dash. A.K.A. The Dash, of course.**

 **[Vi:] To those who are listening, we'd like to remind you that this set of personal accounts is STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL. It is only accessible to Supers and governmental agents associated with them. So, on that note... How are we gonna start this?**

 **[Dash:] What, that one involving one of those glory day Supers resurrected from the dead?**

[Falchion:] With a second squawk of alarm, I felt a shudder run down my mammalian spine as the holographic Jack-In-The-Box began its bizarre little act. "W-what happened?!" I cried out.

[Rashida:] My dark eyes began to lose focus as the characters, Violet and Dash Parr, began a conversation with each other about which dead Supers would be involved. I scowled at the Words, and then looked down at Falchion. "It's the format of this story," I answered. "It seems to be a hybrid of script-fic and first-person. It's almost as if the characters are recounting what happened in a round-robin style of narration."

[Falchion:] "O...K. How do you know that, exactly?"

[Rashida:] "Falchion, you've got to learn to recognize Words in a badfic – the story is the world we're in, and the Words are what it's made of. If you divert your focus from your physical surroundings, the Words will come to you. Unfocusing your gaze works for me, so try that first."

[Falchion:] I hesitated, before letting my own eyes glaze over and then blinking in shock. My avian vision had been so second-nature to me that I had a hard time adjusting to human sight, but that didn't prevent me from actually seeing Words now, just like she was, and the fact that I was nearsighted in this disguise actually helped in this case. My partner had been right – the Words really were in both script and first-person format at the same time. "Oh wow, you weren't kidding about the story format. Why can't this author have written the story like any normal writer?"

[Rashida:] "See? Once you get the hang of it, the rest should be easy. Also, to answer your question, it's probably because the fic was intended as a recording, explaining the story after the fact. Or something. Suethors don't make any more sense than their characters."

[Falchion:] I shook my head. "This is shaping up to be a weird first mission, I'll give you that much."

[Rashida:] "You're telling me," I muttered bitterly.

As Dash began explaining his boring day at school, the Generic Setting finally began to shape itself. We were just outside Metroville Elementary School, where Dash had attended classes in the actual film. I glanced at the Words and felt goosebumps on the back of my neck – I'd have said my hackles stood up had I still had them.

A few moments later, however, the two of us were both yanked violently into the air and dropped back onto the ground. We were now in front of Western View Junior High, Violet's high school.

[Falchion:] "Yaaagh! What did I do that time?!"

[Rashida:] "It's not you," I said as I stood up. "It's a scene shift. It does that to agents who aren't prepared. Anyway, get the notepad. I've already collected our first charge."

[Falchion:] "What's that?" I asked as I made to take it out. My new human fingers kept distracting me for a few seconds at a time; I didn't blame myself.

[Rashida:] "Dash has an uncanonical ability. ' **See, I had just discovered my new lightning powers when I had accidentaly set Mom's lawn on fire.** ' He shouldn't be able to consciously control electric energy at this age or mindset. Intuitively, it would make sense that he would accumulate static due to air friction while running as fast as he does, but I doubt he'd actually be able to use it with any degree of proficiency without proper concentration."

[Falchion:] "And knowing him, that's a pretty tall order," I said. Without looking right at them, I passed her a pen and an urple notepad so she could start taking charges. "If he'd acquired lightning powers in canon, though, setting his mom's lawn on fire would be fairly in character for him. He's the kind of kid who'd get into too much trouble for comfort, accidentally or not."

[Rashida:] "I take it you've seen the movie?"

[Falchion:] "At least a dozen times when I was a kid, and another time during my three-day sojourn at FicPsych."

[Rashida:] "When you were a kid?"

[Falchion:] "Yeah. A human kid, oddly enough. I don't know why I remember being a human kid, but I just do."

[Rashida:] "I'd start questioning you as a character myself, but that can wait until after we've –"

A scene shift back to Dash's school threw both of us to the ground before I could finish. We were back in front of Dash's school. That was when I heard a sound coming from one of the students exiting the front of the building.

It was the younger kid from the holographic display. His cell phone apparently had **"I'm Feelin It" by Blink 182** as a ringtone.

[Falchion:] "I don't know my music," I admitted, "but that sounds _waaaaaay_ too modern for a story set in 1980."

[Rashida:] "It's from 2003," I said as I stood up and brushed grass off my clothes. Charge for our first anachronism. And speaking of which, when did the events of the movie take place?"

[Falchion:] "Based on the times of death given for the Golden-Age Supers in the movie and the fifteen-year time skip? I'd say around 1973, give or take a year. That's… not a good sign, to say the least. Especially since it would imply that Dash has been stuck at the age of ten for at least four years."

[Rashida:] "Believe me, Falchion, there's going to be a lot of insanity in store for us." I checked the RA and gasped. "Crap. Scene shift turbulence incoming!"

[Falchion:] We both tried to dive for cover, but then the scene shifted between Vi and Dash multiple times in quick succession; the siblings were apparently getting the same call from an unidentified number. This meant that the two of us were comically tossed about like flakes in a snowglobe. I could clearly hear the voice on the other end of the line, however: GLaDOS, that psychotic AI in charge of Aperture Science. But since the Words spelled her name as "GlaDos", a strange machine that looked like a Companion Cube fused with a Turret ended up being thrown around with us.

By the time the story had restabilized (with yours truly being painfully sandwiched between my partner on top of me and GlaDos the Frankenturret beneath), the sibling Supers had met up and decided to head off to the undisclosed location.

"Well, there's our first intruding continuum," I commented as I extricated myself from the little Growlithe-pile. "Not only was Aperture Science not refurbished into the testing facility it is in the games until the 1980's, but GLaDOS didn't come online for the first time until 1998. And the _Portal_ game was released in flocking _2007,_ so Violet couldn't have played it on her laptop like she says. I'd charge her with having a laptop in 1980 as well, but she actually has one in the Dark Horse comics. Still, charge for all the anachronisms and timeline tomfoolery?"

[Rashida:] "You read my mind," I smiled, writing down all the necessary information. "And I see you visited the Canon Library before you moved into RC #227. Now, if only you weren't so scatterbrained, I could actually have a competent partner for once."

[Falchion:] I noted both a metaphorical surge of pride and a stray apostrophe passing by (since Dash had apparently used "thats" instead of "that's"). A compliment from someone like her, even a backhanded one, would be something to treasure.

"Thank you, from the bottom of my heart," I beamed. "Now, let's follow those kids. This should be an interesting first chapter."

[Rashida:] In order to keep Falchion from being distracted by something shiny during the mission, I decided to put GlaDos into his Bag of Holding, which stretched like a snake's mouth and swallowed her whole before returning to its normal size. Fishing the RA out of my own bag, I opened up a portal to a few scenes later and led Falchion through it, arriving at the most definitively uncanonical Municiberg Headquarters of Aperture.

"Shall we do a C-CAD scan?" I asked as we watched Vi and Dash argue over the safety of entering the building.

[Falchion:] "I don't think we'll need to, at least for now. Vi's actually doing quite well as far as her canon personality is concerned. Even if she's grown more confident since the events of the movie, she'd still be properly cautious about going into an unfamiliar and possibly dangerous place. And Dash would totally break and enter."

The two canons then noticed that someone had broken out of one of the many holding vats inside the lab. They promptly rescued her from a number of security robots.

 **[Sarah:] Okay, I had NO idea what had happened.**

 **The last thing I could clearly remember was getting sucked into a jet turbine, before waking in a strange cell. I broke out but the drones...they chased me. Then these two saved my life.**

 **"W-who are you?" I asked.**

 **[Vi:] "Don't worry, you're safe with us," I said. "I'm Violet, and this is my annoying little brother, Dash. And you must be...?" (turn)**

 **[Sarah:] "I..." I began, but I couldn't remember my name. Or at least... My real one. Yet.** **"I can't remember my true name...but...you can call me...Stratogale."**

[Falchion:] I ducked just in time to avoid the text reading "(turn)" swoop past, though my partner wasn't so lucky, if her yelp of pain and the fact that she was clutching her right temple a few moments later was any indicator. But when this Sarah dropped her alternate name, my mouth visibly fell open.

"Did we just hear what I thought we just heard?" I asked in total shock.

[Rashida:] "I think we did," I said as Sarah began a rather beige explanation of what she remembered. "Canonically, Stratogale only appeared in one scene in the film, during Edna's rant about the dangers of capes. She was the one who got sucked into a jet turbine."

[Falchion:] "And given that she had so little personality defined in canon, she's one of several dead Supers who'd be totally ripe for development as a character," I added. "Lots of people on have tried to explore her backstory, giving her a real name and relationships with other characters. Same with the other dead Supers."

[Rashida:] "Can you hold that thought until after we escape? She's going back to bust out one of the others."

I opened up a portal before he could answer. We both dashed through and shut it behind us, just ahead of the next fight scene.

 **[Vi:] The next thing I knew, I was in a dark chamber, the only light coming from a few computers off to the side.**

 **I was strapped to some kind of chair, my bare feet propped forward, with Stratogale similarly tied down next to me. "W-what's going on? Where are we?" I asked... (Stratogale)**

 **[Stratogale:] I woke up, and found myself next to Violet I could feel a cool breeze on my feet. "wh-wha?..." (turn)**

 **[Vi:] That was when I heard a voice... a familiar, female, cybertronic voice. "Hello, Violet. Hello, Stratogale."**

 **"GlaDos," I spat angrily. (turn)**

 **[Stratogale:] I heard the voice. I was scared. "w-who is this?" I said shaking a little. (turn)**

 **[Vi:] A light at the other end of the room came on... An ominously familiar robotic THING, like a mechanical human growing out of the ceiling, swung around to peer at us both. "I am GlaDos. Welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center."**

 **"What do you want from us?" I asked angrily.**

 **"We are interested in the S-factor that you harbor in your bloodstream," said GlaDos. "It is in our own interest to extract and utilize it for the good of the human race."**

 **[Stratogale:] I struggled against my bonds angryly.**

 **"We're not gonna tell you jack, you tin freak! And give us our boots back!" I had to admit it was nice to have my feet out after so long, but this was ridiculous!**

[Falchion:] Dodging no less than three "(turn)"s and one "(Stratogale)", we took cover at the other side of the chamber as we watched Vi and Stratogale argue with GLaDOS. Since they were barefoot, I noticed that the girls had larger-looking feet than in their movie appearances. Could the art style be slightly different?

"Okay, first off, the S-factor is completely non-canonical, and second, even if it were, Aperture would have little to do with it, or even genetic engineering to begin with – it's focused on machine-based technology, especially the portals from which that continuum takes its name."

[Rashida:] "Well put. Though I have to wonder, what would GLaDOS want with Violet and Sarah's boots?"

 **[Stratogale:] I scowled as my poor feet were exposed to the cold air around the room. "You creep! Give us back my boots! My feet are freezing here!"**

 **[Vi:] "No," said Glados. Several more of the cables, tipped with what looked like mechanical claws, moved forward. "Not until I make you squeal first." As I looked on, two of the claws moved forward... and then stroked all the way down my new friend's helpless arches!**

 **[Stratogale:] My eyes seemed to bulge out of my head. I hadn't felt this feeling for years, but I knew what it was... "N-n-n-o! I...wohon't...l-laugh!" I said as my arches we're playfully tormented.**

[Rashida:] We sat there in dead silence as the two Supers tried not to laugh. The look on my face was nothing short of murderous.

"Are. You. Fucking. _Serious?_ GLaDOS, using _TICKLING_ as an interrogation technique?! I'd have thought she'd go for something more painful! Or just kill them right away! WHY, JUST, _WHY?!_ "

The two Supers were too busy helplessly laughing to notice my tirade. I turned to Falchion, only to notice that he was recording the whole scene with the video camera. He got a slap on the back of the head for his trouble. "Put that away, you pervert!"

[Falchion:] "Sorry," I said, hastily shutting the camera off and stuffing it into my bag, just in time to see Dash combine his attacks with those of another freed Super, Splashdown, to bust through the door. I cringed when the Words referred to them as **Water Pulse** and **Thunderbolt** , respectively.

"So, this guy is apparently a fan of Pokémon as well," I commented.

[Rashida:] "At this rate, I wouldn't be surprised if we saw actual Pokémon being trotted in. Now, let's get a move on. This chapter's about to end – Violet calls her mother, an Author's Note interrupts said call, and Chapter 2 starts with Vi and Dash explaining themselves to the cloned Supers. But first things first, shouldn't we do something about the script format of this story?"

[Falchion:] "Wait, what?!"

[Rashida:] I growled, fishing the C-CAD out of my bag. "What's the matter?"

[Falchion:] "The scriptfic format doesn't seem too bad, actually. I like narrating in first person."

[Rashida:] "Falchion, no. I don't care if you like it or not, as it's not good for our health or for the PPC's status quo. Suck it up."

With that, I pressed the button combination, and restored our POV to a safer format.

Once the agents had reverted to third person, Rashida opened a portal and led Falchion safely past the Author's Note and into Chapter 2. Hiding in some random bushes, the agents watched as Sarah and Splashdown (who happened to be her father) took cover, and then surprised Helen as her car drove up, who reacted the way anyone would if they were surprised by two people who had returned from the dead after fifteen years. She got over it pretty quickly, though, and the four entered her car without too much fuss.

Rashida and Falchion portaled over to the Parr family home, with the disguised Skarmory noting that in canon, Helen would've been considerably more alarmed and would've wanted to investigate the matter immediately. By the time the canons and the cloned Supers arrived, Sarah had apparently ditched her cape, which was understandable given her canon backstory. Bob Parr, a buff middle-aged man with short blond hair, greeted the family as they exited the car.

"So, Splashdown's real name is David," said Rashida. "And now it's Bob's turn to take the cloned Supers' return unusually well. I assume a C-CAD scan is in order?"

Rashida gave the device to Falchion who pointed it at each character in turn.

[Robert Parr, a.k.a. Mr. Incredible. Human male. Incredibles canon. Out of Character 35.80%.]

[Helen Parr, a.k.a. Mrs. Incredible a.k.a. Elastigirl. Human female. Incredibles canon. Out of Character 62.41%.]

[Violet Parr. Human female. Incredibles canon. Out of Character 45.64%.]

[Dash Parr. Human male. Incredibles canon. Out of Character 25.40%.]

[David. Human male, alias Splashdown. Incredibles canon/Non-canon. Original Character Replacemeeeasdfdasfdsafdsfff whatisthisIdon'teven.]

[Sarah. Human female, alias Stratogale. Incredibles canon/Non-canon. Original Character Replacement Do Not Steal.]

"If this happened in the original film context, Helen would be the most suspicious one here," said Rashida. "She was the first one to suspect that Bob was running missions undercover in the movie. And I've already mentioned that two long-dead Supers returning would raise a red flag in her mind."

"That's not all," replied Falchion as they snuck into the house after the group. "The C-CAD is confused about whether to refer to Sarah and David as OCs or Replacements. It seems that this author used what little he could get from the NSA Files extra on the DVD as a basis for fleshing out the characters in question. He'd probably do the same thing for the other dead Supers as well."

"There are far too many people who have tried to do just that for those poor fellows. Oh, look, Sarah's just found out what happened to Apogee — I mean, her mother. And she's not too happy about it."

 **[Stratogale:] I cried and sobed into the pillows. This couldn't be! Mom had been killed, cloned and has gonna be used for evil. I couldn't take it! I never heard Helen come in.**

 **[Helen:] "Sarah? What's wrong?" Somehow, though, I knew why she was so upset...**

 **[Stratogale:] I couldn't control the flow of tears. So I suddenly wrapped my arms around Helen and hugged her tight. "Oh Elastigirl... She's gone! My mom's dead all because of that damn Syndrome! I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM!"**

 **[Helen:] "Shhhhhhh, don't get so upset about it," I said as I tried to comfort her. "Syndrome is dead. I hope that makes you happy..."**

 **[Stratogale:] It didn't. I began to gasp and sob at the same time. "I-i-i'll never be happy again!"** **I sniffed as I kicked my feet. Maybe it was that that inspired helen to cheer me up.**

Falchion looked at his partner, completely confused, but feeling rather sympathetic for Sarah. Unlike his partner, who scowled at the Wangst she was presumably sensing. Then Helen started tickling Sarah's feet, and the Sphinx moved as if to punch Mrs. Parr in the face.

"Rashida?" Falchion asked, both concerned and rather annoyed. "Are you okay?"

"Of course not," she snarled back. "Helen is taking to this write-over like she's her own daughter, whereas in reality she would call Mr. Dicker and let him sort it out. And the tickling again, _ugh_. Why did they have to send this trainwreck to _me_ , of all people?"

"Sounds like you're not too fond of the tickling scenes. They seem okay from my standpoint. Heck, I even _like_ them, even though I've never even tried to use the laughter-touch in my life. Especially not with talons and bladed wings."

Rashida looked at him angrily, turning away from the sight of Sarah tickling Helen back and Violet joining in. "For your information," she hissed, "I find gratuitous use of fetish scenes in a non-fetish setting to be more disturbing and perverse than any of erotica I have ever dealt with before transferring to Floaters. Helen could have just comforted Sarah with words rather than groping her in a private place. And I'm even _more_ creeped out by the fact that you _like_ that stuff enough to ignore the Duty, which only reinforces the pity I feel for your disgusting insolence."

The disguised Armor Bird returned the glare, feeling visibly stung. "You just _had_ to drag my preferences into this, didn't you?"

"I bring them up because the fact that you ignore the warping of characters' personalities in favor of _enjoying_ such twisted scenes raises a red flag in _my_ head. I respect the fact that you like this type of material, but that is _not_ an excuse for you to slack off and force me to carry you along while you indulge your pathetic, insufferable self."

She turned away and covered her face with both hands, knowing she'd said something she'd regret later. "Ugh, let's just get a move on. There's a dream sequence, Violet calls Chell in the morning, and then the group splits up. Bob and Vi visit Mr. Dicker and then Metro City and the others visit Edna Mode's. Can we skip ahead of any _further_ distractions?"

Falchion was too angry with her to respond at first, but then he let out a sigh of exasperation, knowing that he couldn't argue with the one in charge. "Fine," he spat. "But wait, Metro City?"

"Yep. Because another continuum jumps in," she replied.

" _Megamind_ ," Falchion mused, remembering where he'd heard the name before. "I'm actually not averse to a crossover between that movie and _The Incredibles_ – they're both well-done deconstructions of the superhero genre, after all – but the author could've done better with this particular instance. _Megamind_ takes place in the 21st century, for a start."

"Luckily, that particular scene is relatively short. It's just the two parties agreeing to take action. Chapter Four?"

"Sure, sure. As long as you don't annoy me with your insults and complaining."

Rashida slapped him again, this time across the face, which shut him up very quickly. "If you keep terrorizing me with your weird interests and egoistic behavior, I'll terrorize you with my irritated comments about them. Simple as that. Anyway, we've got a conversation with this guy named Colonel Pluck, and Megamind's love interest Roxanne meets up with the Metroville group. Nothing too special. The happenings in Metro City should be more interesting, though."

With that, the group portaled over to Chapter Four and landed in a parking lot, where the disguised Sphinx found a conveniently parked motorcycle and hot-wired it. "Hop on," she told the bird.

He didn't need to be told twice. He was pretty sure she didn't appreciate him trying to hang on to a less than ideal location, since she told him to put his arms around her neck instead as she peeled off. They didn't need to get very far.

 **My words were drowned out by a terrible, booming ROAR, as something huge and red burst out of the ground in front of us!**

 **I screamed in terror. Looming high above us was an enormous Tyrannosaurus rex, its maw agape and ready to chew us to a pulp.**

Rashida swerved out of the way and braked so sharply, she almost crashed the motorcycle. It was lucky Falchion didn't get thrown off or accidentally choke her out.

"Kos omak," she swore before gunning the motor again. The bike moved swiftly down the street as we swiftly closed in on the Epic Chase Scene(™) as Violet identified the creature as Devil Dinosaur.

"This author clearly doesn't care about temporal consistency at _all,_ " Falchion hissed. " _'Hey, let's play a game! How 'bout we see how many franchises we can fit in a blender?'_ "

"Devil Dinosaur first appeared in the late 1970's, so 1980 isn't too far off the mark for him," Rashida replied. "But as we discussed earlier, it's the Parr family who are out of place here. Along with the eleventeen other continua that this fic's mixed together."

"Like I don't know that already," her partner muttered sourly.

 **[Vi:] "I've got good news and bad news. The good news, we've got Apogee and Thunderhead," I explained. "And the bad news..."**

 **ROOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAARRRRR! I looked out the window and shrieked! DD was keeping pace with the van, and as I watched he slammed his head into it, just like the T-rex in Jurassic Park!**

 **[Helen:] "Honey? What was that?"**

 **[Vi:] "As it turns out," I said in fright, "Supers aren't the only beings Aperture has been cloning!" (Bob)**

 **[Bob:] I took the phone from Vi and answered.** **"helen honny, I KNOW this soiunds weird, buuuut...we're bbeing chased by a giant T-rex. "**

A group of **rocket-propelled turrets** swooped down to attack, but they were blasted to bits by Megamind's **proton ray**. Devil Dinosaur roared as **One stray blast hit DD in the leg and he fell over in pain.**

At the same time, something small and round rolled off the roof of the van. Rashida ducked just in time as it flew towards them, but Falchion wasn't so lucky. The thing bounced off his forehead and tumbled out of sight as Rashida drove after the canons. (Fortunately, Devil Dinosaur was retreating, which made the drive much less stressful.)

"You okay?" Rashida asked once she'd parked the bike in front of Megamind's lair.

"Now I've got a headache," he muttered, rubbing the egg-sized lump where the round thing had hit. "I feel so naked without my armor."

"Like I said, man up and knees down. You can't just waltz into a badfic as an Armor Bird all the time – you'll turn far too many heads."

"Noted. What was that thing, anyway?"

Right on cue, the small metal thing from earlier finally caught up with them. It rolled up to Falchion before standing upright on four clawed, extendable legs. He recognized it as a miniature version of the Omnidroid, the giant robot Syndrome had used to attack Municiberg. The main difference was the paint job; red with the Incredibles logo, and black legs. It also had a name tag reading "helen honny".

"Is that our first Incredibles mini?" he asked in surprise. "D'awww, gimme!"

Rashida purposely ignored her partner as he scooped up and cuddled the mini, which whirred merrily in his arms. "I believe that would be the first one recorded by the PPC, too. You can keep it, Falchion. I have more interest in ancient inscriptions than 1970's-era toy robots."

"So, where to next?" asked Falchion, running his finger over the robot's exterior.

"After this part, Vi talks to Roxanne about the dangers Aperture could present with the cloned Supers. Then Apogee and Thunderhead are busted out, with some difficulty."

"And you're not going to waste your time on any of that?"

"Nope. We're skipping to halfway through Chapter Five. That chapter starts with Sarah and Apogee, a.k.a. Kate Squall, explaining their backstories to Violet and Dash, respectively. Then Colonel Pluck explains his own backstory. As it turns out, he's a canonical boss from one of the Donkey Kong Country games, so that continuum is indeed involved in this mess. We're not wasting time on any of that, though – we're going to when Metro City is attacked by some weird flying creature."

"Flying creature? I'm sold!"

Falchion stuffed the mini-Omnidroid in his bag for safe-keeping, and they portaled their way to the scene she had mentioned, watching as Roxanne tried to report on the attack of **some kind of flying dinosaur** (as Megamind's assistant Minion had put it). She promptly cried out for help as the creature dived towards her. Megamind blasted the creature with his dehydration ray ("He would use that in canon," Rashida noted) and turned it into a little blue cube, which tumbled into the sewer.

"Awww, but I wanted a better look!" Falchion groaned as helen honny beeped and whirred curiously in his bag. Instead, the agents were treated to Violet placing a call to Roxanne from inside the Incredibile.

"What, fascinated by creatures that can get airborne on their own power?" asked Rashida.

"Well, I am a giant bird. Us flyers gotta stick together, y'know."

"Eh. It bears repeating that you shouldn't let your subjective interests blow the mission, but something tells me that creature feels out of place regardless. Just keep an eye out."

 **[Vi:] I screamed in terror and nearly dropped the phone. Rising into the air in front of us came a huge, purple pterodactyl with a beak full of razor-sharp teeth, a four-foot-long head crest, gigantic blue leathery wings, enormous eagle-like talons, and a long powerful tail with an arrow-shaped vane on the tip. The thing screeched in fury and swooped at the van!**

 **[Sarah:] I was already in my Supersuit at the time so I flew out of the Incredibile (which was a convertible, thankfully, so that meant I could unwind the sunroof without much effort) and flew towards the beast. "Birds are desended from dinosaurs," I said. "Maybe I can talk to this one. That's a power of mine." Violet could only watch as I attempted to talk to the beast.**

Falchion spent most of the ensuing battle with the "pterodactyl" angrily pointing out that pterosaurs are only distantly related to birds, and were in fact a separate lineage of reptiles despite being in the same group as the ancestors of dinosaurs. This meant that Sarah wouldn't be able to use her bird-whisperer powers to talk to it; and more importantly, she really shouldn't try to talk down a flying monster that wanted to kill her. (He also noted that given this information, this would mean that Aerodactyl, a fossil Pokémon based on a pterosaur, would technically be more closely related to non-avian dinosaur Pokémon like Bastiodon or Tropius than modern bird Pokémon like Skarmory or Fearow.)

Rashida got the disguised Armor Bird Pokémon to calm down just in time for them to watch Dash and Sarah literally defeat the pterosaur just by running circles around it. She noted a charge for absurd combat strategy and misapplied physics; lifting the beast up in a tornado (or rather, a **Thunder Vortex** – she also charged them for assigning stupid nicknames to their attacks) would only serve to get it back in the air really quickly, rather than suck the air out of the inside. Then Sarah **tore off the device before whispering in its ear.**

"wake up," Falchion whispered along with her. "you are free now."

Rashida stared at Falchion, as surprised as he was that he knew Sarah's line. But it was what happened next that blew them away completely.

 **[Adam:] *in prehistoric language* "FREEEEEEEEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOOOM!"**

 **I crashed to the ground, transforming back into my human form, my clothes ragged and my messy black hair tangled up. "W-what happened?" I gasped, staggering to my feet. A moment ago, I was in some kind of vat like in those movies... How did I end up out here? Was I dreaming?**

 **[Apogee:] I let out a tiny squeak of horror. This was the monster that I saw in that canister earlier!**

 **[Vi:] Wait... All this time we'd fought some kind of kid? True, a kid who could turn into a giant pterosaur, but what would Aperture want with this guy?**

Rashida looked from Adam to Falchion and back again, her eyes wide with stark horror. The new kid smiled dopily at Violet as the Sphinx agent recognized Twu Wuv taking effect. Though supposedly **half a year younger than Dash** , Adam actually looked Violet's age – and more importantly, exactly the same as her disguised partner.

"Falchion? Are my eyes deceiving me here?"

"No, not at all," he replied, as horrified as she was. "I'm seeing it too. The fic is basing this guy's look off a picture from the author's deviantART gallery."

"I hope this is not what I think it is," she whispered back. "And by the way, after this mission, you have a lot of explaining to do."

"Don't look at me," Falchion replied as they heard a roar somewhere nearby. "I don't know anything about this guy. I'm pretty sure it's just a coincidence that we look alike."

As Devil Dinosaur erupted into view, Rashida rounded on Falchion. "Coincidence? You're wearing the exact same clothes and your hairstyle matches his almost perfectly, and you call that a fucking coincidence?!"

"I told you, don't look at me! It could be that the Gary Stu that's just turned up may have seen me before, and he's mimicking my appearance!"

"Or the other way around. Don't be surprised if I demand answers after we kill this bastard. Let's go – the gang gets Devil Dinosaur free of his uncanonical mind control device, Violet is captured, and the group finds an Aperture base in Metro City and fights through security. Portal to the ending fight of the next chapter?"

Falchion nodded, too shaken by the Stu's uncanny resemblance to his disguise to speak, and they did just that. It was then, however, that Rashida remembered something important.

"Uh-oh. Falchion, do you remember why we visited the Armory before this mission?"

"Because… because another continuum is taking over?"

"And what chapter is this?"

"Chapter… Six?"

 **[Vi:] I was about to say something when something growled behind us. I turned... and screamed. It was a dinosaur, similar to DD... but not like any I'd ever seen before. This one was smaller, about as tall as I was, with long arms and legs with razor-sharp claws, and a long snout full of razor-sharp teeth. And to top it off, it had mechanical armor, blasters and blades. And behind it, a dozen more flashed their claws, preparing to pounce!**

 **[Adam:] I recognized the sound at once... and the logos on their breastplates. "Ingen!" I screamed. "Ohmigosh, no wonder Aperture's been cloning — They've formed a merger with InGen!"**

Falchion stared at the Words in total shock. Even if he had wanted to say anything, the current events of the fic had left him completely speechless. And they weren't done yet.

"Told you," Rashida growled grimly. Only Adam knew of InGen and the Jurassic Park continuum in general, aside from a few anachronistic references on Violet's part, and it was he who was bringing it into play. He, the Sekhmet-damned Gary Stu.

"Oh dear Arceus's majestic hat hair," the disguised Armor Bird Pokémon moaned finally, burying his face in his hands as the army of Random Uncanonical Turret-Raptors attacked. Luckily for him and Rashida, the dinosaurs focused on the canons, cloned Supers, and Gary Stu. The group proceeded to do battle with the cyborg dinosaurs, which went pretty well until Adam tossed one into another canister. What happened next hit Falchion with so much concentrated stupidity that he had to actually sit down upon the Generic Floor.

 **[Neo:] I collapsed out of the canister, trenchcoat billowing, guns out. I knew instinctively what to do, because I was seeing the whole thing the whole time.**

 **"Adam!" I cried, seeing something that Adam did not. "Behind you!"**

"And yet another continuum enters the fray," Rashida commented bitterly as she swatted aside a "(Dash or Sarah)". "Charge for Neo recognizing and communicating with Adam as though they're allies."

That was when it happened. It came so quickly that Falchion never saw it coming – as the battle continued unfolding, he began to remember the entire thing clear as day. He suddenly remembered seeing things from the point of view of the mutant Pteranodon, who was now finding out that he was a clone of Stratogale, like an older brother. He remembered seeing the exact same canister with the label, "Stratogale #1."

It was almost like he was an older brother to Stratogale. Like he was…

"No… N-NOOOOOOOO!" he wailed, springing to his feet and turning tail.

"Falchion, you coward! Get back here!" Rashida roared, racing after him. He had only taken three or four strides before she tackled him to the ground.

"I give up! I can't take this anymore! It's too much!" the Skarmory agent cried, struggling to get away from her. "I want to go home again! I want to have hollow bones and fly freely through the sky and never have to worry about this awful, awful story ever again!"

"Falchion! There is no going back! We are going through this mission no matter how stupid either of us thinks it is! We have to, and if we back out, there will only be worse to come! Suck it the Duat up, you spineless tin turkey!"

Falchion stopped struggling, but continued to bawl pathetically into the floor. The realization that he had been a Gary Stu was too much for him to handle. He was a terribly written, parasitic, world-warping…

Rashida interrupted his reverie with a yelp of horror. "Falchion, we have to move! Now!"

She opened up a portal and dragged the distraught Steel/Flying-type through just as the building somehow exploded **in a brilliant orange fireball** behind them due to a single explosive enemy going off, before blipping out of existence completely.

By the time Falchion looked up, wiping the tears of shame from his eyes, they were in the backyard of someone's house. Apparently, it was the one that Sarah's family had purchased sometime earlier.

"What… What happened?" he asked, looking around. He lifted his arms… to find that they were still arms. He sighed in disappointment and flopped listlessly onto the grass. "We're still in the fic, aren't we?"

"Correct," his partner muttered, glaring up at the window that presumably marked the Stu's room. "And from the looks of it, I believe we have finally begun Episode Two."


	3. Chapter Two: Second Strike

**Chapter Two: Second Strike**

 **The Incredibles: Rise of the Galeforces - Chapter 7: School Daze**

 **Municiberg, 7:00 AM, Friday, March 14, 1980**

 **[Adam:] The first rays of the sun shone into my room as dawn bought new light to a new week.**

 **Groan. Monday was here. And I hated Mondays because I had to go back to the humdrum of school and all that.**

"Episode Two?" Falchion asked as they listened to Sarah and the Stu engage in an aside conversation.

"The author divides this fic into four different 'episodes', not unlike in _Jurassic Park: The Game_." Rashida tossed him another mini-Omnidroid, thunderhead, that she'd picked up during the fight in the previous chapter. "The first two episodes are relatively short, only six or seven chapters each, but the last two are much longer. Hmm, I wonder why."

The agents hid in some convenient bushes as Sarah helped Adam decide his Super name — Terrordactyl.

"How long is this fic, anyway?" Falchion asked.

"Thirty-five chapters, plus an epilogue," his partner replied bitterly. "I _knew_ this mission had 'long day' written all over it."

She took a deep breath, wondering if she had her catnip inhaler in her bag, and let Falchion rest for a few moments. Then she turned to him.

"You know what, forget interrogating you after this mission. You owe me an explanation, _right now._ What was with the Stu perfectly mimicking your disguise, and more importantly, _why_ , in the ever-loving _Duat,_ did you try to run off in the previous chapter?"

Falchion looked at her apprehensively, wondering if he should tell her. He decided it was worth the risk of disappointing her — she needed to know if they were to be completely prepared.

"Because when I saw the Stu, when I noticed that he looked exactly the same as me… I suddenly remembered seeing the story from his point of view. Almost as if… I _was_ him. As if I was watching _myself_."

Rashida turned away with a baleful expression. "As if you were watching yourself… Hmmm. So does that explain the similar appearances between you two?"

"Must've been when I was programming my disguise. It seems like I was basing the commands off of what I remembered of my — er, _his_ appearance."

"You… remembered what he looked like?"

Falchion paused, and then looked up towards the sky. "I have these memories. Memories that I know I never experienced, but I remember them anyway. Memories of people I've never met, of places I've never seen. I've forgotten most of them, but it seems that they come back at full force when I witness them again. It's like the Word World is replaying them right in front of me."

"So, false memories? Does this mean you remember being a Gary Stu? How many other Stus have you _been_?"

"All I remember of my own history is that I was once a non-canonical pre-evolution of Skarmory. This contradiction is what created the plot-hole that led me to the PPC. Everything else… yeah, I've got nothing."

"Sounds like a cover-up to me."

"No, I'm not lying when I say that I never experienced those memories myself. And knowing you, I think you'd know if I was."

"I'm a seer, not a living lie detector. There's a difference."

"Maybe. But I figured you'd sense that I'm going to insist that I had nothing to do with those memories no matter what you say."

Rashida tried to find a path that contradicted him, and found none. With a disappointed huff, she stood up, with the disguised Skarmory slowly following suit.

"Let's just nab some lunch and move on. We can raid the fridge while the canons are gone."

Falchion wanted to warn her that they'd notice the missing food, but his stomach growled before he could say anything. "Yeah, food's good."

They entered the house, heading straight for the fridge, and stocked up on canonical leftover meatloaf, steak, and fresh fruit.

"Want a bite right now?" he asked, offering her a CGI pear.

"Thanks, but I'll pass. I'm exclusively carnivorous."

"All righty then," he replied before testing out his human dentition on the pear. It tasted rather delicious. "So, where's the fic now?"

"The Stu's off to school with the rest of the gang," she said, taking the steak and tearing off a piece with her teeth. "He'll explain his recurring nightmare to Sarah later, complete with the two 'borrowing' some dialogue from early in the first _Jurassic Park_ movie."

"The six-foot turkey bit?"

"Yep. Then the gang will head off to E's for some new gear. Oh, and Terrordactyl gets a dye job. Wouldn't wanna miss that."

They stashed their food in their bags and portaled to a few scenes later, secretly tailing Edna as she led the cloned Supers and the Stu through her home's movie-accurate security system. E went through each of the suits she had designed for the group, similar to how she had done in the movie as well, although she had saved Adam for last.

"Charge for forgetting about Thunderhead until Dave brings him up," noted Rashida. "You'd think she'd have prepared for _all_ the Supers once she found out. At least she had the suit ready."

 **[Adam:] This had taken an ugly turn. So I did the only thing I could - I transformed and screeched at Sarah!**

 **'NOOOOOOOOOOOO! PLEASE! NOT THE NEEDLE I BEG YOU PLEEEEEAAAAASE!'**

 **[Sarah:] I had no choice. I began too scratch behind his neck to subbdue him. "NOW EDNA!"**

 **[Adam:] I wasn't sure what happened, but next thing I knew I felt a sharp pain in my neck.**

 **It bought back a horrible memory... a killing claw piercing through my jugular, and blood spilling onto the Cretaceous soil.**

 **And another one... A needle just like this one, being injected into my throat. Suddenly I was floating in a canister again, with a familiar dark shape, with yellow slit-pupil eyes, grinning at me with evil intent.**

 **In the next instant the pain was gone. I gasped, and struggled to my feet, and looked in the mirror.**

 **My fur and skin were colored differently, a lot like the suits that E had showed us. I phased back into my normal form, clothes and all, and realized that I was in the same civilian clothing.**

 **"Memories," I whispered. "H-horrible memories..."**

Falchion didn't remember Sarah even touching Terrordactyl with the needle, but then he could almost feel the stinging jolt in the side of his neck corresponding to where the jugular would be. The disguised Sphinx glanced at him apprehensively, and then returned her attention to the Stu as his scales, membrane, and pycnofibers magically changed color, until they matched the Galeforces' suits.

"Sorry," Falchion muttered, rubbing his neck where he recalled the pain had occurred. "My thoughts exactly about the horrible memories bit."

"This chapter ends in a few lines," said Rashida. "The next one takes us to the Natural History Museum — I don't know if there is one in Municiberg in canon. After you."

She opened a portal and followed him through. A moment later, the agents were tailing Violet and Dash as they examined dinosaur skeletons at the uncanonical exhibit.

"They have a **saber-toothed squirrel** in this museum?" Falchion asked in confusion as the teenaged canon wondered in the narrative what species she was going to study. Then Dash, who was researching the extinction of the dinosaurs, mentioned that he felt like he was being watched, and Violet noticed something was off.

 **"Hello? Anyone?"**

 **Then I arrived at the basement, and opened the door. There were lots more fossils on display, but that wasn't what made me scream in terror and try to slam it back shut.**

 **The raptor skeleton, fully animated, had sprung straight at me! The door slammed in its face and it smashed to pieces, but it promptly reassembled itself and began fumbling with the door handle!**

Having tailed Violet until she had reached the "Employees Only" door, the agents watched as Dash rushed in to help; the Super kid reduced the skeleton **into a plie of ash.** But as they followed the canons, Rashida suddenly stiffened, her eyes glowing white for a second. "They're heading into a trap," she muttered.

"How do you know that?" Falchion asked, nervously scratching the "plie of ash" with his shoe like a chicken with its clawed foot.

"There's **an eery glow from the corner of the basement.** "

"An 'eery' glow?"

"Yeah," she muttered, cringing as they tried not to stare at the glow; its color wasn't directly specified but to the agents, it was a disturbing, almost terrifying shade of red. "I can sense the Stu's approach, too."

"But Vi should be calling for help right now! Oh wait, she isn't — "

"No, I'm _literally_ sensing the Stu. I can detect his presence drawing nearer to our location. But wait, I'm getting something else…" Her nose twitched, as though she'd forgotten that she didn't have whiskers, and then she snarled. " _Ibn alsharmuta_! There's _another_ one!"

"Another what?" Falchion asked, but then he looked at the Words and gasped in horror.

 **[Vi:] Not wanting to drop my guard, I had no choice but to follow him... straight into the trap.**

 **The glow came from a person... only he wasn't a person. He was part man, part beast... part machine.**

 **As we walked towards him, I heard a snarl behind us, and turned. Dozens of Turret-Raptors had cornered us, ready to pounce at a moment's notice!**

 **"Well well, Violet," said the young man as he turned to face us, with the machine-gun arm, dinosaur feet with switchblade claws, and long stiff feathery tail. "It appears that your family has been busy."**

 **"Who are you?" I asked.**

 **"Who am I?" asked the beautiful young man. "I am the alpha male. I come to this world from the Cretaceous, armed with the combination of modern technology and my lineage's deadly skill. I come to return my kind to this world, and make it theirs for the keeping."**

Another fight ensued as Adam burst in, only to be promptly attacked by another dinosaur skeleton. Sarah and Helen helped him out, giving him a window of opportunity as he phased. The Alpha Male, the source of the 'eery glow', had Violet cornered, but the Stu's Big Damn Heroes moment changed that quickly.

 **The beast-man fell to the ground, bleeding and shaking uncontrollably. But then he rose shakily to his feet, and stared into my cyan eyes with an expression of pure hate.**

 **I saw the yellow eyes with their reptilian slits for pupils, and felt a chill of horror running down my spine.**

 **"Hello brother," the young man said, and with that he transformed into a full-fledged Deinonychus, feathers and all, with armor and guns and razor-sharp Adamantium blades for claws, before lunging straight at my throat!**

"Is it just me," Falchion asked as Terrordactyl began fighting the Alpha Male, "or did that glowy villain Stu look and sound exactly like Light Yagami before he transformed?"

"He does use the famous 'exactly as planned' line, and the author's notes on this chapter suggest as such," Rashida seethed. "I swear by Mafdet, if this author brings L into this, there will be blood all over the floor. And it will be glittery."

"I take it you're a _Death Note_ fan?"

"I found it while researching cultural depictions of the Afterlife a while ago. It's an interesting read for those who are partial to Japanese spirits of death but dislike _Bleach_. Also, 'Hello brother'? _Really?_ "

"Could be some kind of weird Speshul connection that the two of them have. I'll list it as a charge for now."

"Save that for later — we have to get out of here! Let's skip a chapter to save time."

The glowing Alpha Male had resumed his human form, and attempt to blow the group up with a **Pea Turret** — a super-deformed, pea-green Turret that was somehow explosive. She opened up a portal and rushed them through, shutting it just as the Pea Turret exploded.

Just their luck that they ran into another tickling scene involving Sarah and Helen.

"Arrrrgh, will this author just quit with the athlete's foot and dumb laugh tracks already?!" Rashida groaned, trying not to drop her disguise and maul something helpless.

Falchion was considering bringing the camera out, but Rashida's angry mutterings gave him second thoughts.

"Hey, may I have the RA for a while?" he asked. "I think I can navigate this fic a bit better than you can, apparently. I'll spare you any unnecessary pain and take us to when King Krok is introduced."

"King Krok?"

"A _Tylosaurus_ with guns. We could try to get it out of this fic once the canons are gone."

Rashida hesitated, wondering if giving the device to him was a good idea, but then she remembered that she'd taken them to the wrong scene. She acknowledged in her head that at least they hadn't portaled into an explosion just yet, but knowing Falchion's "experience", she thought it better to trust his judgement.

"Take us out," she said, passing him the device. "Just enter the chapter and line number you wish to go to in the command line."

"Line number? No wonder you screwed up," Falchion said as he did just that, ignoring her glare of resentment. They skipped ahead to the fight with the monstrous sea creature, which was covered with mechanical armor and **laser guns attached to its shoulders that trained on us, as it opened its gigantic mouth and let loose a bellowing roar that shook the earth!**

By which the Words meant that everything was shaken by a three-second earthquake as King Krok roared. Car alarms went off everywhere as the agents found themselves on their rears once again.

"He's not going to stay for very long," said Rashida as she picked herself up. "The author does say that he's coming back, though. Hmph. If he was a Random Sea Serpent I wouldn't mind, but recurring appearances may present a problem. Excuse me, I need to place a call…"

With that, Rashida headed off to commission the Department of Misplaced Flora and Fauna for a swimming pool big enough to hold a sixty-foot-long sea lizard. Falchion decided to keep watch over the Words for a while, and before long the Supers had routed the monster. By the time his partner had returned, the gang had been contacted by two other rescued Supers, Wendell (Macroburst) and Dean (Phylange), and were discussing some kind of Super hybrid with them through Violet's phone.

 **[Wendell:] "I know how you feel, Sarah," I said, my voice sounding so ashamed it nearly trumped that of my girlfriend.**

 **[Adam:] "Is there something else we need to know?" I asked. "You sound even more hurt than my sister."**

 **[Wendell:] "That's the point," I said. The sentence that followed made everyone gasp in the biggest bout of shock yet.**

 **"Stormicide was my mother."**

Rashida facepalmed at this supposed Reveal. "They should've prepared for something like this if they'd known that Stratogale was the daughter of Splashdown and Apogee," she muttered. "Charge for — AAAH!"

So focused was she on the previous dialogue that she completely failed to foresee the incoming Author's Note until it practically screamed all around them.

 **The Incredibles: Rise of the Galeforces - Chapter 10: Wrath of King Krok**

 **The Incredibles: Rise of the Galeforces is based on a series of RPs I have been doing with ~georgemiser. These RPs were based on the often-practiced notion of dead superheroes, such as the ones that died before the events of the movie, being resurrected in some way or another. This has escalated into a full-blown new storyline with a new protagonist, Sarah Squall aka Stratogale, and her family aiding the Parr family in the defeat of Aperture Science, who intends to use a majority of the late Supers as the spearheads of their own personal army.**

 **This was fun to do. I felt like exploring the mechanics of the various characters' powers a bit more. King Krok is definitely going to come back, because I'm intending to use him as the creature for this story's "Exit, Pursued by a Bear" trope. :XD:**

 **The Incredibles (c) Pixar, Brad Bird**

 **Everything else (c) their respective owners**

"FUCK, ARCEUS-DAMN-IT!" Falchion screeched. "Does this summary repeat in _all_ the chapters?!"

Rashida covered her ears until the Author's Note finished its declaration. "The author — well, the author _s,_ in plural, stop repeating the stupid summary beginning from Episode 3. The guy who posted the fic apparently just wanted it _done_ after a while."

"We've still got twenty-five chapters to go, though. And we're not even done with Episode 2 just yet. Let's just get to the next chapter."

"You know, I haven't seen Colonel Pluck for a while," Rashida observed. "I wouldn't be surprised if he returned to wherever he came from via plot-hole. Of course, we'll have to find and neuralyze him once this fic is done."

"Given the fact that his backstory involved Donkey Kong Island, and that he was a boss in _Donkey Kong Country Returns_ , I wouldn't be surprised if DK himself shows up soon."

Falchion portaled the two of them to midway through the next chapter, just as the newest fight began at the Municiberg Zoo. Flocks of birds flew everywhere in a panic as the glowing villainous Stu — known as Velociripper, or Ripper for short — fired at Sarah with a **devolution gun.** It missed, instead **hitting a passing dragonfly that mutated into a huge Meganeura!**

Although the devolved birds were convinced by Sarah to lend some helping beaks, a whole army of Random Giant Bugs descended upon the group as the Stus proceeded to rip at each other once more. To Falchion's mild surprise, Terrordactyl didn't fare as well as he had last time, being forced into his human form as Ripper slashed at him with his killing claw, **which glowed with an ominous red aura as it struck home**.

"So Ripper can force people to drop their superpowered forms?" asked the Skarmory.

"Maybe," Rashida muttered. "It could just be a way to give the antagonistic Stu a plot-convenient advantage against the — Oh… Oh, Sekhmet's whiskers…"

 **WHAM! Ripper was rudely interrupted by a barrel rolling in completely out of nowhere, which slammed him in the side and sent him careening into a rock face, which cracked under the force of the impact.**

 **I scrambled to my feet, and Sarah and I both looked around to the direction the barrel had come from. There, just outside of the hole in the glass, was none other than...**

 **[DK:] "GRAAAARGH!" I roared just like in the subspace incident as I landed in front of the crazy dino, roared, and pounded my chest.**

 **[Diddy:] I came up right beside him, posing a cool kung-fu pose. We were gonna kick some tail!**

 **[Adam:] "Whoa... Thanks," I said in astonishment, surprised that the stars of the primate exhibit had broken out to help us.**

Rashida's mind just about broke by that point. She couldn't do anything except stare, slack-jawed and bug-eyed as the great brown-furred gorilla and his best friend, a chimpanzee with a tail and a red vest and cap, sprang into action.

"Called it," said Falchion, grinning smugly as they watched Donkey Kong introduce himself rather loudly before giving the villain Stu a beatdown. Then Ripper proclaimed that the headquarters of the operations were located on Isla Sorna and Isla Nublar.

"Looks like we're off to the _Jurassic Park_ continuum after all," Rashida noted. "But the facility broke down in 1993 if we're going by the movie canon. Again, this fic takes place in 1980."

The agents watched the canon and cloned Supers fight off the giant bugs, while DK knocked out Ripper and let Helen toss him into a nearby containment truck. Twice. The author must've accidentally repeated a line. "Of course, having the first _Jurassic Park_ movie take place at least thirteen years before it did in reality is just one of the many, _many_ anachronisms we're dealing with here," said Falchion. "You know, though, I think Isla Nublar-slash-Sorna can wait."

"Why? Are we heading to DK Island first?"

Falchion picked up dash the mini-Omnidroid without missing a beat and grinned at his partner. "Exactly!"


	4. Chapter Three: The Third Degree

**Chapter Three: The Third Degree**

One portal and several totally confused airport security officials later, Rashida finally pocketed her Neuralyzer as the two agents took their seats in the plane to DK Island; conveniently, there were seats available just behind the canons in second-class. The plane trip went pretty smoothly as the chapter started.

 **The Incredibles: Rise of the Galeforces - Chapter 12: DK Island**

 **En route to Donkey Kong island, 6:00 PM, Saturday, March 15, 1980**

 **[Vi:] I woke with a jolt of fright. Another nightmare, this one involving a storm, and a broken fence... and a Tyrannosaurus rex.**

 **I was on the plane the government had chartered us, sitting next to my boyfriend Adam. on the opposite end of the aisle was his sister Sarah, my brother Dash, and our new friend Diddy Kong.**

 **"T-teeth..." I gasped. "S-so... m-many... t-teeth..."**

And then Diddy Kong started tickling Sarah's feet. Rashida sighed bitterly and covered her face with her hands, while Falchion watched a period floating by due to another poorly edited sentence a few lines later.

"There's only going to be more of those types of scenes, isn't there?" she growled.

"The authors certainly like to stick 'em in whenever they feel like it," Falchion mused as Sarah chided Diddy for tickling her. "Oh, that reminds me. One thing I should've noted earlier is that these guys apparently got some help from a third author for the Kongs' dialogue. It's another part of the script-first-person cross-breeding we're experiencing here; I'm beginning to think that this fic was the result of a role-play between multiple people."

"People can role-play to write fanfic?"

"It's a bit tough, but not impossible. You need all the writers involved to be available at the same time so they can cooperate and prevent anyone from taking over their characters. Or you can simply do it in a forum thread and let other people jump in with their own ideas. I remember someone tried that on the /co/ board of 4chan once."

"Out of morbid curiosity, which continuua were involved?"

" _Kim Possible, American Dragon: Jake Long, Ben 10, My Life as a Teenage Robot, Danny Phantom, El Tigre,_ and _Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja._ And maybe a few others but I may have missed 'em. It was an… interesting experience reading it, to say the least. Though this being 4chan, the grammar could've used some work."

Rashida paused for a moment to process this, and then scoffed. "They really should stop giving people Internet access at FicPsych."

"Technically, I read the version, but still. How did you guess?"

"Oh, I don't know. I just guessed. And I had no idea you could read either."

"FicPsych can do amazing stuff, my friend. You just need to get them when they're in a good mood. Then, all you have to do is ask."

Then Donkey Kong referred to going to the moon, twice in fact.

"He's not referring to the ending of _Donkey Kong Country Returns_ , isn't he?" Rashida asked, watching a "(DK)" as it floated past them.

"If he said he visited the moon twice, he could also be referring to that one episode of the _Donkey Kong Country_ TV series. I haven't seen it myself, though, so I can't pin down any specifics — most of my knowledge revolves around _DKCR_ and _DKC: Tropical Freeze_. One of my false memories concerns playing the Wii version of DKCR."

"Oh yeah, I forgot about the memory thing. Didn't the Stu comment about being okay with the new color scheme of his pterosaur form?"

" **I'm okay with it, really,** " Falchion quoted. " **I mean, we pterosaurs can escape danger in a jiffy and we rely on vision to communicate, so it's only logical that we were real-life examples of Amazing Technicolor Wildlife.** "

"Charge for directly referencing TV Tropes?"

"Maybe. But like he said, I wouldn't sweat myself over the suit too much, personally. If anything, the 'internal suit' mentioned earlier actually gives him a reason to have that color scheme, so props to that. Of course, had he sported those colors _naturally_..."

"Point taken."

The group landed without too much fuss, since Helen being able to fly the plane was a skill she had in canon. Falchion stifled a chuckle when he read Adam's narrative.

 **[Adam:] I stumbled out of the plane, airsick and a bit disoriented, with the other kids following behind. "We're there yet," I said. "Who would've thought a pterosaur could get airsick?"**

 **[Vi:] "Adam, stop complaining," I said. "We've got business to attend to."**

"Why, in the sacred name of Bastet, would a pterosaur get airsick?" Rashida scowled as the agents disembarked themselves and took cover in some jungle ferns.

"Comedy," Falchion said simply, wiping the sweat from his brow as he watched Sarah take off to scout the place. "Whew, it's pretty warm. Might as well take back what I said about wanting my armor. If I weren't disguised, I'd be cooking in my own skin."

"Don't press your luck, kiddo. We've got a long way to go just yet. Oh, look, another Random Tickle Scene. Argh. And it looks like the authors aren't going to leave the boys out of the 'fun'."

Falchion's human toes curled as Dash and the Stu were assaulted by several carnivorous plants, but he grabbed the camera and taped the Stu getting his feet tickle-attacked anyway. His partner muttered about putting a curse on him, but he ignored her.

A whole lot of "HA"s and "HE"s later, Diddy managed to bail out the canon and the Stu, and the canons headed off to Cranky Kong's hut. The agents pushed aside jungle vegetation, along with the occasional "(Cranky)" and "(DK)", as they followed them.

Rashida ran a C-CAD scan on Cranky Kong as he emerged from the hut. It turned up a surprisingly positive reading: [Cranky Kong. Kong male. Donkey Kong Country canon. Out of Character 15.20%.]

"Apparently, Cranky Kong is pretty good at potion making in canon," said Falchion. "He put that skill to use in _Donkey Kong 64_. I'm not sure about helping out a flock of mutated birds, though."

"His primary concerns are the Kongs, but DK did ask him to help out some friends. He may be old and irritable, but he isn't averse to lending a hand when needed."

The two of them watched as the Stu and Sarah regrouped, with the former trying to scare the latter and then promptly losing a tickle fight with her in return. "The group's splitting up. Who should we follow?"

Falchion checked the RA. "Violet and Sarah have a rather… 'ticklish' run-in with some spider enemies from the DKC continuum after this. I'd tape it but we both know how you are with that. Then Diddy rejoins them with Dixie Kong in tow. The next chapter is actually pretty short — David, Bob, and Dash fight Dynacide in the Ruins, or World 3, of Donkey Kong Island."

Rashida looked at him in surprise. "The hybrid of Dynaguy and Stormicide?"

"They get rid of him pretty quickly. I'll charge ahead of time for wasting an opportunity for an interesting fight, because Dynacide is theoretically supposed to be difficult to get rid of, with gas powers and energy beams and the like."

"How do you — "

"Save the discussion about my 'knowledge' for later. I'd rather not get jumped by a scene shift mid-conversation."

Rashida shot him a nasty look, but let it slide. The kid could have his way. For now. "Right. Where to, then?"

"World 6, Factory, Chapter 14. It'll be relatively safe."

"Relatively?"

She followed him through the portal he opened anyway. Like she had a choice.

A moment later, they stepped into **a dark chamber in the middle of the factory.** The Stu and his friends were examining a TV playing some footage from the _Jurassic Park_ movies. Rashida looked at the Words and snarled angrily.

 **[Adam:] The TV was showing security footage from... the facilities at Isla Nublar!**

 **Just as a hurricane was sweeping over the island, a fat man in a rain coat was switching off the electric fences. The cameras then switched to a Tyrannosaurus attacking a jeep, Velociraptors rampaging through the visitor center, and mutant Pteranodons terrorizing the aviary.**

 **"Jurassic Park had been sabotaged," I realized. "And I think I know the folks behind it..."**

 **[Sarah:] I rased an eyebrow... again. "Wait! Are you saying the guy in the raincoat was sent by Aperture?"**

 **[Diddy:] "Guys, we gotta hurry..." I said hearing a familiar buzzing.**

 **[Adam:] "Dennis Nedry," I explained. "He was killed by a spitter mere hours after his rash act. Good riddance, but what's more... Aperture never did intend to form a merger."**

 **[Diddy:] I heard a buzzing right behind me. "Guys?" I asked.**

 **[Adam:] "They set up InGen..." I turned to see the source of the noise. "...so they could steal the DNA they needed for their final procedure."**

Rashida shook her head and made a "tsk" noise. "Aperture has _nothing_ to do with genetic engineering in canon. _Nothing._ If the antagonist company was the Umbrella Corporation from _Resident Evil_ — or better yet, the MTHR from _Dino Crisis 3 —_ it would have made more sense, notwithstanding yet another timeline being utterly fucked over. Or two. The authors must've shoehorned Aperture into the story simply because of popular appeal."

"Um… Rashida?"

"Be quiet! Can't you see I'm busy?!"

"No, I'm serious! You know what's making that buzzing noise, right?"

Rashida turned around to face him, only to see a swarm of Zingers from the original DKC series flying toward the agents and the badfic characters. "Oh, right," she said in a hasty, apologetic manner as everyone took off like a shot.

As the two agents ducked and dodged the Zingers' attacks (well, tried to — Rashida did a pretty good job for what it was worth, but Falchion wasn't as lucky and ended up receiving quite a few nicks and scratches), they kept an eye on the Stu. King Zing, one of the bosses from the Rare DKC games, showed up and attempted to attack the "heroes", but Terrordactyl proceeded to fend him off. Then they _finally_ found Colonel Pluck again, who helped bail out the Stu with an explosive enemy of his own. King Zing managed to survive the blast with mild injuries, as video game bosses often do in these games, but the point was that everyone got out safely.

"I take back what I said about ditching my armor," said Falchion as he nursed a painful cut where a Zinger had slashed his arm. "Uh-oh. Scene shift!"

Falchion portaled to the next scene with his partner at his heels. They arrived at Colonel Pluck's facilities, where the group was discussing Adam's findings. The disguised Sphinx grumbled to herself as Diddy and Dixie tickled Sarah's feet as a Funny Background Event(™), but Falchion was paying more attention to the rest of the family and their conversation in particular.

 **[Adam:] "Most of the facilities are located on the neighboring Isla Sorna," I said. "The raptors nest at the center of the island, and not coincidentally, that's where the defunct facilities are. I'll bet my diet soda allowance that Aperture is hiding their Supers there."**

"So, it looks like we'll be heading off to Isla Sorna," said Falchion. "How soon will it be before we get there? This mission is already taking long enough as it is."

"Two more chapters and this episode is done. The chapter right after this one takes us back to Tropicopolis for a while. It's mostly lower-deck stuff, though, so I wouldn't bother."

"I still think we should check on the other characters, though. Let's do that real quick and head to Isla Sorna."

"Ugh, fine. Fine!"

 **The Incredibles: Rise of the Galeforces - Chapter 15: Rescue Mission**

 **Tropicopolis, 7:00 PM, Saturday, March 15, 1980**

 **[Neo:] A few weeks ago, Tropicopolis was a paradise, at least from what I'd heard. But now, it was almost a wasteland.**

 **With Aperture's monstrosities, like Dynacide, on the loose, few people were out on the streets, even in such pleasant weather as this. But while the Parrs were away we had recieved a few tips from Macroburst and Phylange, and we'd agreed to continue scouring this land.**

 **Not that I minded... I'd spent the past 10 years in a holding tank, and the past 20 years before in a virtual world built by machines trying to take over the planet. Which made me wonder... was the Matrix a result of Aperture's tinkering?**

 **I tried not to think about it as Chell and I headed through the streets in search of Aperture's wherabouts. Any manhole could lead down to their facilities, but which one should we try first?**

 **[Chell:] I was a little...well, okay, a LOT more relaxed than Neo was at the moment. It kinda made me feel sorry for the guy, it was a nice day too. I was wearing a sleaveless shirt, some shorts and a pair of sandles on my feet. I looked at neo and shook my head in disbelief. "How can ANYONE stay this grumpy on a nice day like this?" I asked him as we waled.**

 **[Neo:] "Keep your head in the game, Chell," I reminded her. "This isn't a vacation, this is a reconnaisance mission."**

The agents were promptly joined by neo the mini-Sentinel, a floating, squid-like robot with a shiny black exterior. Falchion fell in love instantly, glomping and hugging the mini with a rather bird-like squee. His partner purposely ignored him.

"Well, look who it is," Rashida said snidely as she led the Skarmory agent and his new friend after the canons. "Mr. Perfect and Mrs. Silent Snarker, acting a tad OOC."

"And operating as a couple," Falchion added, cuddling the mini-Squiddie and toying with one of its mechanical tentacles like a piece of string. "At least, that's what I'm thinking of based on what the Words are saying."

"Wait, there's a bit of ship-teasing here?" asked Rashida. "I'll consider it a charge because they have little reason to get together if at all, and they didn't get to know each other in detail until this chapter."

"Well, they've both been influenced by rampant technology on a scale far beyond their initial suspicion," I pointed out. "And they both fight against a rebellious AI system at some point. So these two can relate to each other in at least a few ways. And Chell could've reminded Neo of Trinity too."

"Trinity? Why her?"

"Can't say anything without spoiling _The Matrix Revolutions_ , alas. But you get my point."

"You mean you actually support this couple?"

"Admittedly. It's a crack-ship, yes, but I ship it all the same. Still, we should list it as a charge. You have to tread with extreme care if you want a crossover between _The Matrix_ and _Portal_ done right. Not in the least because the former takes place a couple hundred years in the future."

Suddenly, Neo (a.k.a. Thomas Anderson) found himself in the custody of some familiar mechanical equipment. Rashida stiffened, her neck prickling. "Oh, _ibn almitneka. She's_ back."

"Who, the tickle-bot from Episode 1?"

"And Neo's about to get the feather. Falchion, I — "

But before she could say anything else, he had grabbed the camera and dashed off to find them.

 **[Neo:] Yeah, I guess I could have been a bit nicer. But whatever the case I wasn't going to let this... thing... have it so easy.**

 **"Hehehehehehehehe whahahahahahahat ahahahahahare you dohohohohohoing?!"**

 **"Speak, Neo. Where has our escaped experiment gone?"**

 **"Hahahahahahaha I dohohohohohohohon't knohohohohohow! Stohohohohohohohop! Pleheheheheahahahahase!"**

 **[Chell:] I looked at my watch a few more seconds while I listened to his cute laugh and THEN i'd save him.**

 **[Neo:] In all honesty, I was glad to have at least SOME way of lightening up. All that artificial BS was becoming pretty old, and I'd had to maintain a straight face for too many years or something.**

 **Still, GlaDos WAS being pushy. I tried wiggling my toes, but those cables got in between them as well, making the torment worse (or better, if you think about it).**

 **"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHELP MEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!"**

Rashida found Falchion just in front of the window into the room, taping Neo's torment with the camera from earlier.

" _Falchion!_ " she snarled, keeping her voice low enough so that the canons wouldn't hear them. "What in Hathor's udders are you _doing?!_ "

Falchion looked at her, his face flushing pink, but his expression quickly turned territorial. "Oh, I'm _so_ sorry, _Rose,_ " he snapped back. "I just can't help but record these kinds of scenes!"

Rashida blinked, not breaking her glare at the disguised Armor Bird. "Rose?"

"It's short for Rosetta. You know, like the Stone? Your name reminds me of it. As does your eye color…"

"I already have a boyfriend in my own home continuum, you perverse tin turkey. Now for Nut's sake, put that away! You know why we're in this fic, don't you?"

"Oh, all right, if you insist. _Rosie._ " Falchion dodged her swipe at his face, shutting the camera and stuffing it and the mini-Sentinel into his bag as Chell broke Neo free.

 **[Chell:] I didn't answer. I just gave him my "smug look of doom." "oh this is rich." I teased. "the great Neo, the Chosen One... ticklish on his feet. ^^"**

 **[Neo:] "And proud of it," I said, adding tickling to the relatively short list of things I was taking a liking to.**

The agents followed the two canons as they met up with Macroburst and Phylange, who had apparently called them in for backup. Rashida tried running a C-CAD scan on the four of them, just to see what would happen.

[Wendell Zuckerman, a.k.a. Wendell Zucks a.k.a. Macroburst. Human male. Original Replacement Original ReplacementOriginal ReplacementOriginalReplacementwhyareyoustaringatmelikeI'vegotananswer?]

[Dean Cartman, a.k.a. Phylange. Human male. Replacement Original Character Do Not Steal Or I Will Beat Yo Ass To Next Week.]

[Chell. Human female. Portal canon. Out of Character 71.20%. WARNING! CHARACTER RUPTURE IMMINENT!]

[Neo, a.k.a. Thomas Anderson. Human male. Matrix canon. Out of Character 75.20%. WARNING! CHARACTER RUPTURE IMMINENT!]

"Wendell and Dean turn up fine, relatively speaking, but I don't understand Chell and Neo," Falchion noted. "I mean, they're already shipped as a pair, but…"

"Chell doesn't speak in the games," Rashida explained. "She chooses not to because she prefers to use actions instead. Having her talk at all is one thing, but in such a playful, almost flirtatious manner? That's an automatic red flag. And then there's Neo _liking_ the thought of being captured and tickle-interrogated by machinery. If you know how he fought against Agent Smith in the movies, you know he would've attacked GLaDOS on sight."

"Wow, this author is really having issues trying to keep his characters together," Falchion muttered. "At least the OCs/Replacements/what-have-yous aren't too bad."

Rashida glared at him. "With one exception. Or two. Or a dozen."

"Okay, fine," he cringed. "They tend to vary from 'annoying but otherwise passable' to 'utterly infuriating'. Happy?"

Rashida rolled her eyes at the disguised bird. "Let's just get to the next chapter already. The gang fights King Krok and bust out Metaman. Yawn, I'm so bored, yadda yadda."

"I'll just end off this chapter by saying this author must've been suffering a case of idol worship for the _Matrix_ trilogy if he wanted to include Neo that badly," Falchion noted. "To be fair, I remember seeing all three movies, but that's a false memory. I'll probably marathon the trilogy again sometime so I can say that I've seen them for real."

They portaled back to Donkey Kong Island and Chapter 16.

"I'm curious, Falchion — why _do_ you have those memories in the first place?" Rashida asked. "What makes you say with confidence that you've seen movies or played games that you've never even heard of? And in the case of the latter, how were you able to play games if you never had thumbs?"

"If I did know, I don't think you'd be happy if I told you," Falchion replied sourly. "Curiosity killed the cat, as they say."

"But satisfaction brought it back," Rashida finished. "That's the rarely heard other half of the saying. Basically, the more I know about this problem, the better prepared we'll be for the events to come."

"Including Isla Sorna?"

" _Especially_ Isla Sorna."

"Well, the gang's about to leave by another government-chartered plane. We can sneak on board and wait for the next chapter to start up. I can explain things to you in the meantime."

"Suit yourself."

The agents snuck onto the plane just before the others made it in, and after witnessing the canons share a sappy goodbye scene with the Kongs, they buckled their seat-belts as said plane took off, not unlike a commercial jet. Even during a second time, flying in a plane still felt odd to Falchion, more like a long relaxing trip in a vehicle than an exhilarating thrill.

After some end-of-chapter narrative by Violet, it took them half an hour to reach cruising altitude, and during that time, the Skarmory agent noticed that the canons were not doing anything at all. The only two figures who seemed to be even remotely active were Sarah, who was trying to rouse the rest of her family from their odd stupor, and the Stu, who was talking to himself, repeating lines from the previous chapters.

As they flew off into the sunset, the Author's Note boomed in the sky around them, declaring that the author was " **going to revert to posting artwork soon.** "

Falchion spent a good hour or two playing with the mini-Omnidroids, rolling them around in his hands and studying all the minute details of their various paint jobs. It wasn't until night began to fall around the plane, with not a scene shift in sight, that he noticed something was off. And he wasn't the only one.

"You know, I've noticed that Episode 3 hasn't started yet," said Rashida, making the disguised Armor Bird turn around to look at her. "It's like time is proceeding without any scene changes between the chapter cuts. I wonder why that's the case."

"I'm not too sure myself," said Falchion. "But I think I heard the author imply that he was going into a hiatus after the previous chapter."

"So that means the fic was left hanging indefinitely until the author decided to return to it?"

"Most likely."

"So we have enough time to think about how you got those memories, then."

"Yeah, I guess so," he warbled out a dry laugh.

"Then explain yourself. What do you remember about your history? And what specific false memories can you recall?"

Falchion took a moment to draw in a deep breath. "I already mentioned that most of my history as a Pokémon involves being a non-canonical evolutionary relative of Skarmory — Skarmy, if you will. I was born to a mated pair of a female Skarmory and a Braviary, the latter of whom I inherited my Brave Bird move from. Again, however, Skarmy's existence contradicted with canon, and Skarmory aren't native to Unova, either, so I logically couldn't exist as a result. Cue the Puff of Logic that led me to the PPC via a Plot Hole."

"So your bravado is clearly hereditary, then," she chuckled harshly. "That explains so much. Except, of course, for the false memories."

"Oh, those? They never came up when I was growing up in my home continuum. It wasn't until my therapy in FicPsych and my exposure to the various continuua you guys deal with that I started remembering them. It was as though… someone was… _implanting_ them into my head."

"Someone was implanting them? So, it's like an author was inserting a non-canonical backstory into your own?"

"Yeah. I remember being a winged Pokémon trainer once, complete with a romantic relationship with Violet. And don't get me started on the SparkleDactyl(™) in front of us."

"So there are more of them? More of these 'personas' of yours?"

That turned a few gears in his head. Personas were created by authors. And if this Stu was also a persona he remembered existing as at some point…

"Hey, do you mind if I duck out for, oh, a couple of hours?" he asked as he unbuckled his seatbelt and stood up. "I need to do some reading."

"Excuse me, I'm asking you a question."

"I _might_ have an answer to that, but I need to look it up, just to be sure."

She looked at him, a bit puzzled, and then shrugged. "Whatever you like. At least you have something to _do_."

"Tell me about it," he laughed. And with that, he opened a portal and slipped out of sight.

It was a full hour before the disguised Skarmory returned, during which Rashida decided to catch some much-needed shut-eye. Needless to say, she was understandably annoyed when the blue glow of the portal stirred her to consciousness, but she let it slide. The two had more important things to worry about, after all.

She rubbed her eyes blearily as she looked up to see her partner, back in his human disguise, settle down next to her again. The look on his face was midway between fascinated and, for some reason, disturbed.

"Did you find out anything?" she asked him.

"Well," he responded slowly, in an unexpectedly dull tone for such a typically cheeky avian Pocket Monster, "let's just say that a lot of my questions have been answered."

"Go on," she replied sleepily.

"The author of the fic we're in, Shadow-Aspect, is actually one of several deviantART accounts," Falchion explained. "The particular account that posted this fic is actually focused on fetish-related artwork, especially tickling. It's why we encountered so many scenes of this nature so far."

"Does that have anything to do with the fact that you taped some of them?"

"Oh I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. Anyway, Shadow-Aspect has two other currently active accounts — well, _had_ , anyway, since he left deviantART sometime last year for personal reasons. My guess is that he's a college student and that his course work became too intense for him to have a personal life as well."

"But why hasn't this fic been deleted?" asked Rashida. "Is he still active on the Internet?"

"Actually, yes. Several people who created art for him noted that he actually has a couple of Tumblr accounts nowadays (hypocrisy notwithstanding, of course). And here's the kicker: the one devoted to safe-for-work interests, and the most active one at the current time, is named… (Pause for dramatic effect…) SkarmorySilver."

Rashida was too groggy to react to Falchion's pronouncing the parentheses, but she sat bolt upright the moment she heard the author's Tumblr username. "You can't be serious."

"I tweet you not, Rose," he responded, earning a momentary Mean Look from his partner. "Not only that, but his defunct deviantART account is also called FawkesTheSkarmory. Looking up some of the old art on that account, I alighted upon a persona he created years ago, a Skarmory named Fawkes..."

"And?" She waited for the metaphorical other shoe to drop.

"I think… Since both FawkesTheSkarmory and SkarmorySilver have used Skarmory personas, and since I share the same memories as the Gary Stu, who may be an author insert…" He gasped in shock as the thought occurred to him, pressing a hand to his forehead. "The memories… FawkestheSkarmory… Oh, Bird Jesus! It all makes sense now!"

It took Rashida a moment to comprehend what he was saying, but as soon as she did, her eyes widened in shock, and then narrowed in anger. Her voice turned as sharp as the claws of her original form, making Falchion cringe with fright.

"Falchion! You never told me you _wrote_ this _khara_!"

He blinked at her, completely blindsided. "What the _flock_ , Rose?"

"That's your answer to everything, you clueless tin turkey! Don't you get it? You're the persona of this fic's author! It all makes sense — your memories as the Stu, your preferences towards the subject matter, everything! You should know that means you wrote all of this!"

"Whoa whoa whoa, where's the logic in that? This fic was completed in flocking 20 _12_ , for Zapdos's sake! Besides, wouldn't the Gary Stu already take care of the 'author persona' part?"

"That doesn't mean anything. FawkestheSkarmory appeared much earlier. He could've been you for all I know!"

"Really, now? Neither Fawkes nor any of his Pokémon personas were ever used in any known literature, and he certainly didn't _write_ anything. What makes you think I write at all, let alone badfic like this?"

"The fact that you channel the author's character, for a start."

He hesitated, trying to comprehend the meaning of this statement. "Huh," he said finally. "You have a point there. If the author has interest in feet and tickling, then logically I also have an interest in feet and tickling. Guess that explains why I taped those scenes earlier."

"And now you're confirming the notion," she muttered bitterly. "I will never understand your logic, Falchion."

"You're telling me," he pouted, turning his head to nuzzle the shoulder of his that was farther from her, not unlike a bird tucking its head under its wing. "Chirp what you will, _Rosie_ , but I still stand by my original statement that I had no involvement in any of this fowl play whatsoever. I didn't write any anachronistic crossovers, I didn't write any stupid personas with the intent of courtship with my favorite character from my favorite Pixar film, and I certainly didn't write anything even _remotely_ close to the epic bloodbath starting from Chapter 29! Now if you'll excuse me…"

He was about to close his eyes and get some sleep himself, when the disguised Sphinx's hand lashed out and seized his shoulder so tightly, he could've sworn he could feel her fingernails scraping against his scapula. He yelped in pain, turning to see that her eyes had gone wide with what he could only assume was an Alexandrian Death Stare.

"Did you say... _bloodbath?_ " she snarled, her voice taking on a quiet but ice-cold, steely tone she would've otherwise reserved for when she was just about to rip someone's throat out with her teeth.

It took a moment for his brain to catch up with what his mouth had said, but when it did, his eyes widened too until they looked like Ping-Pong balls with pupils. Horrified, he slowly turned his head away from her, and summarized the sudden gravity of their situation not with a bird pun, but with two simple words:

"Oh. _Shit._ "


	5. Chapter Four: Drawn And Quartered

**Chapter Four: Drawn And Quartered**

Rashida and Falchion tried very hard not to fall asleep after their discussion. However, they couldn't guarantee that they could stay awake for the entire flight to Isla Sorna — not all agents are machines, after all — so she could've sworn that they both lost consciousness sometime before their arrival.

Next time she opened her eyes, the scene had changed, completely under her metaphorical whiskers. She shook Falchion awake, and he raised his head groggily.

"Ugh, is it over already?" he asked, wiping his eyes. Then he sat up straighter, looking around. "Why are we in a Jeep?"

"We must've missed a scene shift. I'm surprised it didn't shake us awake."

Falchion's eyes began glazing over sleepily, but then he blinked in surprise. For the first time in a good long while, the Words had returned.

 **The Incredibles: Rise of the Galeforces - Chapter 17: First Blood**

 **Isla Sorna, 9:00 AM, Saturday, March 16, 1980**

 **[Vi:] To use that hackneyed opening, it was a dark and stormy night. Well, sort of.**

 **I was in the front seat of a jeep, in the middle of a rainy road, with a huge wire fence on one side. I looked around... A post with a dangling chain was just beyond the fence. WHAM! A goat's severed leg hit the hood of the car, making me jump.**

 **Then a terrible growl came from behind the fence. My gaze wandered up to the monster just beyond, clawing at the fence - the defused electric fence - with its hand as it swallowed the rest of the goat whole.**

"We're already on Isla Sorna?" Falchion asked. "But… the plane hasn't landed yet!"

"No… I think this… This is the _T. rex_ attack from the first _Jurassic Park_ movie!" Rashida replied. "Except something's wrong… None of the canons from that continuum are present…"

The _T. rex_ proceeded to tear the Jeep apart… with Violet still inside it.

"NO! VIOLET!" Falchion shrieked, making to unbuckle the seat belt, but before he could rush to the other Jeep and blow the mission, the world lurched. Next moment, the agents were not in a Jeep anymore, but back in their seats on the plane, looking visibly shaken.

 **With a gasp, I woke up. I was on the window seat of a private-rented plane, with my annoying little brother dozing next to me with his head on my shoulder.**

 **My name is Violet Parr, teenage Super. Today, my family, and our neighbors the Squall family, were heading to Isla Sorna... where Aperture was guarding their Supers well.**

"Oh. _Ohhhhh_ ," Rashida grumbled. "It was a dream sequence. Of _course_ it was." She made sure to note an extra charge for confusing the Duat out of them as well.

"Well, I'm glad we aren't facing down a dinosaur so soon," said Falchion, as the two of them observed the canons and other characters introduced themselves. His partner honored him with one of her special Death Glares, and decided to write a blanket charge for anachronistic movie references when Thunderhead complained about the in-flight movie — _Batman and Robin_.

The plane landed and **slowed to a stop** , and as the passengers began filing out onto the runway, the agents noticed that the environment looked more realistic than in the previous chapters. They stealthily exited the plane after everyone else, taking cover in some bushes as **a distant roar** echoed throughout the scene.

"Okay, forget I said anything earlier," Falchion warbled nervously.

"This, Falchion, is why we brought the Armory gear. Get as many weapons out as you can, and stay close. I don't want you getting eaten on your first assignment."

"On it!" He took out his pistol and stowed his switchblade in his utility belt pocket for easy access.

 **[Adam:] That was when I realized that we WERE'NT alone. Another plane had also parked on the runway, this one with the InGen logo on it.**

 **"Sarah, look," I said. A group of people had already left the plane and were looking around, scanning for something we couldn't see.**

 **[Sarah:] I saw them getting out of the plne. I couldn't see who they were but they seemed to have a couple of kids with them which seemed cute. Not knowing what else to d I called over to them. "Hey, over here!"**

The plane briefly shrank into a "plne" as the group heard another roar, and then piled into the vehicle. It started to take off, but then Bob somehow stopped it in its tracks and set it down. Another person was standing on the runway and waving in panic the whole time.

Then, as they watched, **something enormous and green erupted onto the runway** and ate the Generic Person.

As the heroes did battle with the Generic Beast, which quickly turned into a _T. rex_ , the agents snuck around the fight to see Vi meet the Generic People inside the plane, who started to take on the shape of canonical characters from an animated TV show.

Rashida's eyes widened in disbelief and anger. Again. " _Kos omak_ , how many more continuua is this fic going to include?!"

"About two or three in a significant role, if memory serves," Falchion replied earnestly.

"I was being rhetorical, you idiot!"

"Sorry. What happened, did another franchise get dragged in?"

"Basically, about that /co/ badfic you mentioned? One of the continua involved just got tossed into this shitty little mixer. _Kim Possible._ At least Kim and Ron aren't faring too badly as far as their personalities are concerned."

The two of them watched as the _T. rex_ gave up the fight and vanished into the forest. Rashida grumbled as usual when the group introduced themselves to each other, with Kim promptly ending up on the business end of yet another (thankfully rather brief) tickle fight. "They were accompanied by Cooper?" she asked. "Does this mean some of the Jurassic Park canons are involved after all?"

"Possibly. Cooper was the first casualty of the _Spinosaurus_ in _Jurassic Park III_. This dates the chronology to eight years after the original movie, and four years after _The Lost World_ film. Isla Sorna would have been made into a nature reserve of sorts by this point, which would not have taken place until after InGen tried to set up a mainland version of Jurassic Park, inadvertently alerting Movie!Hammond to the state of the island."

While Rashida was explaining all that, however, Falchion had looked down to try and avoid the sun's glare, only to see that the pebbles on the ground were starting to shake. Thunderhead and Ron Stoppable were too busy arguing to notice. He shook his partner's shoulder, risking a light swipe from her and a dirty look. "We have to get out of here," he said. "Something's coming!"

"But the _T. rex_ has already left," Rashida replied. "What are you — "

Her eyes flashed white. She suddenly had a vision of another dinosaur, bigger and meaner-looking, charging into the scene, completely flattening the spot right where the agents were sitting.

" _Move!_ " she cried, grabbing his arm and rushing them onto the freeway. Stratogale, who was lifting the plane airborne using her super-strength, caught sight of the agents with a surprised yell, but mere moments later…

 **[Adam:] But before the plane could reach a high enough altitude, something huge burst onto the runway. Its crocodile-like maw snapped at us, and the plane just grazed the huge fin on its back and spun out of control, crashing into the jungle. Everyone screamed as the plane thundered through the trees, before being lodged in a particularly huge one.**

 **"Everyone okay?" I asked, noting the earthshaking footsteps of the huge thing heading towards us...**

 **[Ron:] I looked out of the window to see what it was. Was it anouther t rex? part of my hoped and prayed for a leaf eater.**

 **"Well... Maaaybeeee it'll beeee aaaaaaaaaa Triceratops?" I asked.**

They ran towards the fallen plane, hearts pounding in their chests. But just as they reached it, Falchion tripped over something small, green, and scaly, faceplanting into the dirt. The creature scrambled to its clawed feet and promptly lunged at his prone form with an enraged roar before sinking its tiny but _very_ sharp teeth into his backside. He screamed in pain for about half a second before his partner covered his mouth with her hand.

"Shut up, you stupid bird, _shut up!_ " she cried, just before noticing the new mini. It was a cat-sized version of the _Tyrannosaurus_ from earlier that had locked its jaws onto the seat of his pants. She scratched under the mini's jaw, and it relaxed enough be pried free. A moment later, she scrambled for cover, clutching the mini with one hand and dragging her partner behind her with the other.

Falchion wished he had his precious tail back as they hid behind a convenient fallen log. The _Spinosaurus_ quickly killed the JP canon from the third movie, Nash, and easily tore the plane apart, but all the canons escaped through the hole in the fuselage just in time. The agents were quick to follow.

"I got bitten by a mini," he moaned, gingerly rubbing the sore spot on his ass. "I can't believe I got bitten by an Arceus-damned mini!"

"Don't be surprised. I'm sure t rex here doesn't appreciate being stepped on by clumsy, pin-headed poultry."

"Look who's squawking!" Falchion snapped.

Rashida rolled her eyes and gave a huff of annoyance, with t rex following suit. "Let's just portal to the next major event. There will probably be some Random Raptors turning up shortly, if we're going by the third movie."

As the agents headed into the abandoned cloning facility, t rex the mini- _Tyrannosaurus_ hitched a free ride in Rashida's Bag of Holding, poking his scaly head out of the opening. At least, she assumed it was a he, since it was the male _T. rexes_ which were green in canon. He sniffed around apprehensively as they entered the abandoned lab from _Jurassic Park III_ , and Adam quoted the "this is how you play God" line from the movie.

Just then, t rex growled at something a short distance away. Rashida looked in his direction to see **a cross between a squirrel and a rat** in the corner of the room the canons were in. As the canons drew closer, it suddenly sprouted saber-teeth. And then Kim called it a " **Scrat** ", which made it resemble the _Ice Age_ character. Falchion backed away slowly, waiting for his partner to blow up. He knew exactly what the presence of this particular saber-toothed squirrel implied.

Then a random raptor appeared out of nowhere. The scene played out similarly to the movie, only with Sarah, Adam, Kim, and Ron in place of Alan, the Kirby parents, Billy, and Udesky. They managed to shut the raptor in one of the containment units behind them, only stopping when they heard its cawing noise, meant to call for assistance.

The teens and the PPC agents rushed back to the cloning room they'd just visited, only for some kind of large creature to try and break one of the walls down a moment later. Then the Stu finished the demolition job, and the ensuing narrative stunned everyone, including t rex, into silence.

 **[Manny:] And that's when I met the humans for the first time. Hi, my name is Manfred, though you can call me Manny. Oh, and please try not to call me "fat." It's this fur, it's... poofy.**

 **[Adam:] Don't worry, Manny, I won't. I promise.**

 **[Manny:] Yeah, whatever. Anyway, when I met the kids for the first time, suffice it to say that I was more confused than I ever had been. But then again, who wouldn't be? All my memories came from the Ice Age, which modern humans know as the Pleistocene. The only thing I remember from the present day was being in a container and then escaping. Now I was here with these kids, and they reminded me of Roshan, the baby we'd rescued long ago.**

 **I looked down at them, walked over and said, "Uhm, hello. How's it going?" I hoped they weren't as savage as the Cro-Magnons we'd encountered in our better days.**

 **[Adam:] "Mammuthus primigenius!" I cried in delight, rushing over and kneeling down in front of him while holding the tip of his trunk. "It is a great honor meeting you, sir."**

Both agents stared at the newcomers in total shock — and in Rashida's case, righteous fury.

"Not a word," she snarled through clenched teeth as Falchion made to covertly reach his nearest hand towards hers. "Not. A. _Neik_. Word."

Falchion hadn't meant to say anything, but he dropped his hand anyway. They watched the scene in silence as the _Ice Age_ canons, including Ellie and the possum brothers, introduced themselves to the teen heroes, and vice versa. A second saber-toothed rodent, with pungent greenish-yellow fur, scampered up to the agents.

"Is that an _Ice Age_ mini?" asked Falchion, eyeing it hungrily. "About time, I'm starving!"

"You have food in your bag," Rashida replied, handing him a banana she'd collected from DK Island. "And it looks like a certain _someone_ failed to capitalize Sid's name. I can't call this thing a mini-Scrat, though — it's the same size as Scrat in canon. Any ideas?"

Falchion thought about an answer for a moment as he ate the banana. "Hmmm… How about Spellcheck Scrats?" he said finally. "It makes a nice alliteration, like the Misspelled Monkeys from the _Pirates of the Caribbean_ continuum."

Rashida was about to respond to that suggestion when she spotted an incoming scene shift.

"Spellcheck Scrats it is," she said hastily. "Falchion, outside. _Now._ "

She slipped the rodent into her pant pocket, and they quickly hopped through the portal into the start of the next chapter, where Rashida finally thought it safe to vent her frustration.

"Your author is practically _stealing_ scenes from JP3 and replacing the main characters with the ones from the badfic!" she almost roared. "This isn't just bad writing anymore — it's _nikomak PLAGIARISM!_ "

"Would now be a bad time to say it gets worse?" he asked, stashing the banana peel in his bag.

"Yes. But since you've already said it, what do you mean, it gets worse?"

"The Parrs' story arc is a ripoff of _The Lost World._ And the _Lost World_ canons from InGen are involved."

There was a beat of dead silence. And then Rashida snapped.

" _Yehkrib BEITAK!_ " she howled, barely missing her partner with a blow meant to put a dent in his face as wide as the Nile; she barely cared for the pain in her knuckles as she struck the tree trunk behind him instead. Inside his bag, three mini-Omnidroids, a Frankenturret, and a mini-Sentinel droned out a warning. "I _shouldn't_ have expected more from a badfic author's persona! How am I supposed to tell the Flowers that _my own Sekhmet-damned partner_ wrote this… this utter _bullshit?!_ "

"Didn't we go over this already?!" he cried out in dismay and alarm. " _I didn't fucking write anything!_ If you want to blame somebody, blame my author! I'm sure he'll take responsibility for his actions once he finds out what a stupid idea creating this fic was in hindsight."

"Do I look like I care? We are _slaughtering_ this pile of idiocy, whether or not you have anything positive to say about it!"

"News Flash, _Rosie._ I _don't._ And considering how my author feels about his past behavior, I doubt he would either."

She stopped dead, right in the middle of trying to land a more accurate blow. " _His_ behavior?"

"Look at the grammar! Look at the lack of proofreading, or that mini you're carrying which was produced by it for that matter! The author of this fic didn't care about quality or consistency — he just wanted it _done_ so people could admire the end product!"

"Well, nobody's admiring it now. And after we're done, nobody ever will."

"A fair point. But this isn't just about this fic anymore. I'm genuinely concerned about my author's well-being now. I'm guessing our habit of wanting things over with without caring for the end result has gotten him into trouble in the past. I can't let that happen in the future."

Rashida glared at him for a moment, but then her shoulders slumped, the strength in her arms giving out. "Fine," she growled, stroking the crown of t rex's head. "Lead the way, you stupid tin turkey. Oh, and if we get eaten by a _T. rex_ , you won't have my sympathies."

"Whatever!"

It took the agents quite a while to catch up with the Stu again, since they failed to properly exit Chapter 18 when Falchion ended up portaling his way into the trailer from _The Lost World_ ; as such, he nearly blew their cover when a _Tyrannosaurus_ pair attacked. After a lot of angry screaming, Rashida took the RA back before portaling them two chapters away.

The Parrs and the InGen hunters were apparently settling down for the night. Dash began complaining in the narrative about "cooties" as he tried to sleep in the same bag as his sister. _I guess this is where those dinosaur attacks from_ The Lost World _happen_ , Rashida thought. But before she could ask Falchion if he was OK with going to the next scene, they were jerked back by an unseen force, landing flat on their backs.

"Son of a — was that a scene shift?!" she growled, while sid the Spellcheck Scrat whimpered in fright from within her pocket.

Falchion looked at the words, and his stomach metaphorically dropped. "Vi is somehow remembering **the conversation Mom and Dad had had with Tembo from earlier.** We just got sent back a few minutes in time!"

Rashida checked the Words too, and then scowled. "By Bastet, you're right! And now Mr. and Mrs. Parr are having the same conversation that Malcolm did with Roland and Ajay. Well, sort of. Some of the lines from earlier in the _Lost World_ movie have been mashed into this conversation. And Helen and Bob's lines are different."

 **"Knowing what Ludlow's been doing to his colleagues over the past fifteen years," said Ajay, "it's safe to say that they'll be all too happy to slaughter us all if they find out we're on this island. Ludlow was the one who commissioned us to make this trip, after all."**

Rashida bared her teeth, her fingers curling out of instinct. "Peter Ludlow would _never_ have anyone executed for failing him, even if he was a greedy bastard who cared only about continuing the nonexistent legacy of Jurassic Park."

"Does this mean we have a new antagonist hijacking the fic?" Falchion asked.

"I wouldn't be surprised at all if that was the case. And we never got to see what became of the last one! Does anyone even care about where Velociripper went?!"

"Oh, I don't know!" the Skarmory squawked. "Maybe you should ask him yourself!"

"Ask me what, exactly?"

That last sentence hadn't come from either of them. The agents both yelped and whirled around. There, sitting in the crook of a tree, filing one of his huge curved foot claws with a devious grin on his face, was Ripper himself, 'eery' glow and all.

"Get behind me," Rashida snarled as she took out her pistol. The disguised Skarmory didn't need to be told twice.

Ripper looked down from his perch, flashing his pointed teeth. "Well well, brother," he chuckled. "Fancy seeing _you_ here on this island. And I see you've brought dessert. Shame I can't enjoy it — I remember reading somewhere that chocolate is poisonous to dinosaurs."

"Stay away from him," growled Rashida through clenched teeth, pointing her pistol at the villainous Stu's head in response to the insult.

"Feisty, aren't you, woman?" Ripper chuckled, putting his file away and dropping down to the forest floor to confront the two. "You know, brother, you and your gun-toting friend aren't the only ones wondering why nobody cares about me anymore. I'd have thought you of all individuals would have felt the need to watch your back, lest I come out of no-where and rip it open."

"How did you get here?" Falchion asked, mustering the courage to speak up. "You got thrown into a containment truck last time we saw you!"

Ripper let out a chirruping, raptor-like laugh as he stalked towards the pair. "They never said they'd _locked_ that truck. And as for how I got to this island? Convenience. That's all I have to say."

"That's not an answer," Falchion squawked. "Did you sneak into one of those planes that arrived on the island?"

Ripper blinked and cocked his head curiously. "That, brother, I cannot tell you. I honestly don't know myself. But that's not important right now."

"Please stop calling me 'brother'. It's demeaning."

"Oh, but it's true. After all, the same person wrote us both to life."

Rashida's eyes widened in horror, but before she could open fire, Ripper had moved forward, shoving her aside as he kicked Falchion down. His 'eery' glow intensified around his claws as he knelt down and held them up to her partner's face.

"Falchion!" she cried, keeping her gun pointed at the antagonist.

"Oh shut up," Ripper hissed, aiming his own firearm at her before returning his attention to the flighted one. "Listen, _brother_. The only reason I am letting you live, _for now_ , is because I find your ignorance mildly amusing. I can guarantee that you are going to suffer through a considerable amount of agony in the days and weeks ahead. Once I'm done with you, once everything you hold dear has been mutilated and disfigured, vandalized and defaced, to the point where _no one_ will ever accept you as a person… _then_ you can ask me to kill you. Bonus points if you want it slow and painful."

There was a scream from somewhere beyond. The _Tyrannosaurus_ that was investigating the tent that Helen, Vi, and Dash were in had not gone unnoticed.

"Tell that to Adam, not me," Falchion spat.

Ripper scowled as he stepped off of him, seized him by the collar, and lifted him off the ground. "If you are trying to worm your way out of this by convincing me that you are an imposter, you are mistaken. But no matter. You will be doomed regardless, just as planned. And I will have my way by the time this story is over."

And with that, he dropped him to the ground and sped off into the trees. Not one of the visitors to the island suspected a thing.

" _He knows_ ," Falchion fumed through clenched human teeth. "I can _feel_ it. If this fic isn't killed soon, we've got a potential killing spree on our talons."

"You're stating the obvious, Falchion," Rashida grumbled. "But oh yes, I've got my eye on this bastard. Just give the signal, and I will have him _dead_."

"Can we just head off to a few chapters later?" Falchion asked. "This is just a rehash of those dinosaur chase scenes from _The Lost World_ , and Violet and Dash finding out about Ripper's presence on the island. Chapter 21 is basically the aviary scene from JP3, during which _The_ _Land Before Time_ gets tossed into this literary cesspool. And then Chapters 22 and 23 respectively consist of Violet getting captured by Aperture/InGen, again, and the Squalls being forced to part with the _Ice Age_ canons."

"That would be a good idea," Rashida said as she opened up a portal. "I'd rather be snapping at the heels of that feathered monster, not the other way around."

 **The Incredibles: Rise of the Galeforces - Chapter 24: Scaled Up**

 **Isla Sorna, 12:00 Noon, Sunday, March 17, 1980**

 **[Vi:] It's funny how time flies when you're being held prisoner.**

 **I couldn't tell whether it had been a few minutes or a few hours when I opened my eyes again. Whatever the case, the scene of my nightmare was spread right before my eyes when I woke up again.**

 **The doors to the lab opened up, and two people stepped in. One boy and one woman. Ripper and Tanya were back for more.**

 **"Ah, the girl's awake," said Ripper as he turned to Tanya, who was back in her laughing mad state. "Shall we start the procedure, or should we get the boy to watch first?"**

 **[Tanya:] I was rolling on the floor next to him at this point, laughing my ass off. the secret of the gas was this chemical that attacked your nerve endings and tickled you insane. "AHAHAHAHAHAHA, SUHUHUHUHUHUHURE! DOHOHOHO HEHEHEHER first!" I screamed.**

Not knowing what else to do, Falchion took out his camera for a moment and taped the Stu as he was somehow subjected to ticklish torment by Tanya, a.k.a. Stormicide. But then Rashida glanced at him, and he Falchion hastily shut the camera off and put it away, hoping she wouldn't notice.

"What were you doing with that thing?" she asked.

"Nothing," he said hastily. "Just doing my Duty."

Rashida glared at him for a moment, but the next line of narrative wiped out any thought she may have had of lecturing him (again) — and everything else they were thinking about, for that matter.

 **[Vi:] "Good gravy, whose side are you on?!" I screamed.**

 **"Mine," said a voice behind the two of them. Tanya and Ripper stepped aside as a new person stepped into the room and turned off the tickle switch. He was balding, middle-aged, wiry, and had large round glasses framing his sullen dark eyes.**

 **"Who are you?!" I asked, glaring down at the new guy.**

 **"The name is Dr. Peter Ludlow, MBA," said the older man. "And I'm here to make a deal"**

"Oh. _Flock_ ," Falchion whispered in pure terror as Ludlow continued talking.

"Truer words have never been spoken," his partner whispered back.

 **"And tasty ones at that," said Ripper as he smiled up at Violet. "You know, I think ingesting your little brothers would get you to make up your mind."**

 **[Vi:] "MY FAMILY IS *NOT* FOOD!" I screamed. "Now CUT TO THE CHASE, or so help me I will BREAK OUT OF THERE AND KILL YOU ALL!"**

"And I was just about to say that things couldn't get any worse," said Falchion. "Violet wouldn't threaten to outright kill anyone even if her family was under threat. And she certainly wouldn't get that angry straight away."

"I'd run a C-CAD scan, but I fear for the warranty of the poor thing," Rashida snarked. "I can tell it's contemplating suicide as we speak."

"So that means you're going to act now? Before it's too late?"

"Most likely. We have enough charges to kill the Stu, at least."

"I still think it can't hurt to wait a bit longer, though — we've still got eleven chapters to go, and we haven't even gotten to Episode Four yet. Of course, I'm not responsible if things go downhill from here. You know, more than they already have."

"Technically, you _are_. Well, your author is, anyway."

"Oh, right," Falchion replied, metaphorically deflating. "And it's only going to get even worse from here, isn't it?"

 **[Vi:] And then he turned to me. "Dr. Zuckerberg, here, has been very, VERY helpful to us here at InGen. This here is a special mutagenic substance that we intend to apply to you and everyone we've been breeding in this company."**

 **"What kind of substance?" I asked.**

 **"I prefer to call it a 'paleo-neo hybridization serum,'" said Ludlow.**

Rashida bared her teeth, crouched on her hands and knees, her back arched as though ready to pounce. "They're turning her into a _dinosaur_. _A nikomak DINOSAUR._ I _knew_ I should've gotten more toys from the Armory."

"Whoa whoa, we are _not_ killing her!" Falchion cried. "She's a _canon_! We've gotta get her cured of whatever these whackos are putting into her!"

"You don't understand, Falchion. _This_ Violet is reacting in a way that the canonical Vi would _never_ even dream of. There is no hope in saving her now."

"The Stu is _influencing_ her!" Falchion pleaded as Tanya attacked Ludlow, only for Ripper to toss her aside and activate the transformation anyway. "The Stu and that stupid fluid! She'll still be okay in the end, unless… Unless…" And then he saw her eyes change color to blood-red, and something clicked. "No. NO. N, flocking, _O_. Shadow-Aspect did _NOT_."

Rashida looked at her partner with a mixture of pity, disgust, and deep-seated distress. "Yes, he did. I'm so sorry to tell you this, Falchion, but… your author's completely _replaced_ Violet's character."

" _That,_ I can live with killing," the disguised Skarmory hissed savagely. "If this keeps going, we will _have_ to terminate this utter shitstorm with extreme prejudice."

"You read my mind," Rashida quipped.

"But… Say you're right about your little theory. Where would the real Violet be?"

"Simple. Just look for a plot hole."

The agents were briefly treated to a hallucination on the part of Tanya/Stormicide hallucinating, but they ignored it. Falchion shook his head, not knowing whether to feel desperate or enraged. "I don't think Vi was the only character who got replaced here."

"As if that wasn't obvious enough," replied the disguised Sphinx.

The agents were snapped back into reality a few lines later as the hybrid abomination known as Dynacide, freed by Ludlow, attacked the now fully transformed fake Vi, only for her to defeat him with terrifying ease. All they could do was watch in horrified silence.

 **[Vi:] What had I done? Why had I taken his life? What monster had I become? Certainly, I wouldn't forgive myself for what had just happened for a while.**

 **Delirious with exhaustion, I stumbled, crashed into the control panel, and banged my head against one of the glass tanks. As I collapsed to the floor, spots appearing before my eyes, I didn't notice my tail crash down upon Tanya and knock her out cold.**

 **I only barely saw the loading gate slowly open to reveal Ludlow and his surviving men, including Tembo. My whole body turned bright tomato-red as I glared into his triumphant face, my eyes full of hate. And then, slowly but surely, my whole world went black.**

All around them, the scenery changed to the eldritch shade of "dark black". Before long, they couldn't see anything. Falchion's world started feeling colder and colder, until…

"There," said Rashida, pointing to something in the darkness. It was like a hole that had been punched out of an invisible wall, a cavern in space-time leading to somewhere they couldn't see. They slowly walked up to it, feeling growing trepidation. And then they heard it.

A faint sobbing noise, familiar and utterly heartbreaking, was emanating from deep inside the plot hole.

"Wait here," Rashida said to her partner. She then stepped into the plot hole and vanished from sight.

Falchion didn't say anything as his partner went in. He just sat there, thinking about what he had seen. Had he really seen a canon being mutated? He didn't think that was true; Violet's character had been warped long before her body had been. Violet in canon would never hurt anyone with malicious intent. Wouldn't she?

He focused so hard on this train of thought that he ignored the Author's Note claiming that Violet herself had requested this chapter. She _wouldn't_ have suggested anything like this. Not at all.

Rashida didn't emerge from the plot hole for a long time. But when she did, the last thread of hope the disguised Skarmory was holding on to was instantly abolished. She was carrying a teenaged girl with flowing black hair, who was missing part of her leg; a dinosaur had likely bitten it off a few chapters ago. The stump had been bandaged, as was her head, for the predator had apparently broken her skull. Falchion's heart sank as he took in the sorry sight. This could mean only one thing.

Rashida laid the injured canon upon the dark black floor. She peered up at the two of them, her face pallid from gradual blood loss. "Stay with me, Vi," said Rashida. "We're going to get you some help. Can you still see me? How many eyes do I have?"

Violet's gaze turned towards the boy leaning over her. Her hand reached up to touch his blurred face, brushing against his cheek.

"A… Adam?" she asked weakly. "My love... I-is that… Is it really you?"

Falchion knew what he had to say, though even thinking the words made his heart hurt more than any physical injury. He took her trembling wrist in his hand, and gently lowered her hand towards her chest, before speaking with the voice of a broken bird.

"Vi… We have to break up."


	6. Chapter Five: Fifth Wheel

**Chapter 5: Fifth Wheel**

Violet looked up at the Agent who resembled her supposed lover, her eyes wide with disbelief. "What?"

"I'm sorry, Vi. But it's the truth," Falchion replied.

"But… But why?"

Falchion couldn't speak. His expression was not of selfish love, or indignation at her denial. It was an expression one would wear if they found out that the nest they had used throughout their entire lifetime had been destroyed in a forest fire.

"We should go," Rashida said finally. "We'll find a safe zone and then take you to the Medical Ward."

"...Medical ward?" the Super teen asked, trying to sit up straight. "B-but… but Adam… What about… I thought he said he loved me?"

"That… wasn't me," Falchion hissed, suddenly extremely angry. "The Adam you saw in the holding tank was an imposter. A horrible, good-for-nothing poser who wanted nothing more than to feed on your approval like a Shuppet feeds on envy. _I_ would have cared about your needs and safety first and foremost. _He_ just wanted you to do what _he_ wanted."

Violet blinked at him, unable to process what he was saying. To her, just days ago, he was clinging to her like his life depended upon it, but now he was pushing her away. It didn't make sense at all. "But you… You... I thought you said you needed me! You…"

"Violet, I'm past that now. I've _seen_ what would happen to you if I kept acting the way I did. I was selfish, immature, and reckless. And I don't think there's any way we can sustain our nonexistent relationship in light of my mistakes."

"All right, the baby talk is over," said Rashida, opening a portal with her RA and helping Violet up. "We've gotta catch up with the story. Vi, Adam is right. The imposter exhibited a kind of influencing power that got you to appreciate him regardless of his faults, and the sooner you realize that, the better off you'll be without him."

The lightbulb went off for Violet at that point. Her face changed from desparate to angry and a bit ashamed; Falchion guessed that the Stu's (his?) influence had left her. " _You. You_ did this to me," she told Falchion. "And here I was about to accept you for who you were! What a _fool_ I was! It's _your_ fault my leg is gone! YOUR FAULT!"

He didn't say anything. In a way, she was right — He had been the Gary Stu of this fic in some previous life, and said Stu had been responsible for what had happened to the poor girl, who was now tearing up over the horrors she had experienced over the past few days. He could sense that once she was done in Medical, she was going to be in FicPsych for a _long_ time.

The three of them made their way into Chapter 25, emerging into a small jungle clearing close to the river from _Jurassic Park III_. While Rashida broke off a long stick for Violet to use as a cane, Falchion wondered if he should snatch a few bites to eat from the boat that led the way into the chapter, but then the story described that they were stale, and he had second thoughts.

"What's that?" Falchion asked, as a familiar ringtone echoed in the distance.

Rashida stiffened, the prickling sensation on her neck returning. "Get ready to run," she said.

"Run?" Violet asked, still struggling to stand upright even while holding on to Falchion. "From what?"

"Riddle me this, Vi. What's bigger than a _Tyrannosaurus_ and kills everything in sight?" he asked.

Violet was too confused, and more importantly, too scared to answer. She was momentarily distracted, however, when she saw Adam through one of the boat windows, **eating from a box of sir grapefellow cerial**. But then he was gone.

She looked back to Falchion. "Did you just... teleport? I thought I saw you on that boat!"

"No, not at all," he replied. "I already told you, _that_ Adam is an imposter. But where did he go?"

Rashida glanced up at the words, and then she made a gagging noise. "Wait here," she said to the two of them, before trudging off into the jungle after the sound of the ringtone.

Falchion and Violet sat there for ten excruciating minutes, accompanied only by the jungle ambience. Then something rustled in the bushes nearby. Violet let out a small scream and tried to huddle next to her now ex-boyfriend in spite of herself. He was about to reach into his Bag of Holding for his pistol when the source of the noise revealed itself.

Rashida stepped into the clearing, looking both thoroughly disgusted and extremely furious. "The _Spinosaurus_ feces from the movie," she snarled. "The Stu. Was in. _The nikomak pile. Of dinosaur feces_."

Falchion practically tasted his own vomit while Violet nearly fainted next to him. "Where is he now?" he asked, trying not to sound grossed-out.

"They're getting him onto the boat," Rashida said. "We have to move. We can't lose sight of the Squall family, especially not with a prehistoric monster on this island."

"Canonical _Spinosaurus_ or uncanonical sparkle-dactyl?"

Rashida thought about it for a moment. "Both," she said. With that, she opened a portal and led the others through, just ahead of the oncoming scene shift.

And then Violet saw Adam in the boat again. Violet looked from him to Falchion, her expression turning horrified. "Sweet mother of Thor," she gasped in horror. "It _is_ a fake you."

"Would now be a bad time to say 'I told you so'?" he asked rhetorically.

There was a growl from somewhere nearby. The real Violet squealed in fright and hid behind Falchion as two more mini- _T. rexes_ , t-rex and t-rexs, emerged from the bushes. Rashida's first mini- _T. rex_ peeked out of her bag, making a curious noise as he evaluated the newcomers.

"Sarah and the Stu are talking with Kim and Ron about the fake Vi," said Rashida. "According to Sarah, the fake Violet's dinosaur form would be bright red, as opposed to the green or brown seen in the _T. rex_ specimens in the JP canon. Yeah, it's supposedly to make her Speshul, but at least she'll be easier to pick out this way, both for her and for us."

"Super duper," Violet cringed. "So now there's an imposter version of me too?"

Rashida looked at her with a deadpan expression. "You don't say."

"Well, I remember being in a holding tank and falling unconscious. Next thing I knew, I was in that strange cave, bleeding and crying, and then you were bandaging me up. The fake me must've been placed in the tank to replace me when I went missing."

"Or she took your place directly," the disguised Sphinx added. "I'm Rashida, by the way. And for identification purposes, _this_ Adam is now officially known as Falchion."

"Yoo hoo," Falchion waved cheerfully.

Then a thought occurred to Violet. "Where's Mom? Dad? What about Dash?"

"That… I don't know," Rashida said sadly. But then she checked the words, and sat up straighter. "Hold on. The Squall family has managed to contact the Parrs by phone. So your family may be — "

 **CRASH!**

 **Everyone was knocked off their feet as something enormous collided with the boat. I looked up and screamed in absolute terror - the huge head of the Spinosaurus glared down at me, opened its razor-toothed jaws and roared, as though to say "Why, you'll look tasty with cheese dipping!"**

As the _Spinosaurus_ attacked, two more mini- _T. rexes_ appeared. These ones, however, had sails on their backs, like the _Spinosaurus_. The new minis, spinos and spinosaurus, glared fiercely at the other mini- _T. rexes_. It looked as though a fight was about to break out.

"I thought _Jurassic Park_ minis were plain _T. rexes_!" Falchion said in surprise.

"So did I," said Rashida. "These hybrid minis may be based off the _Chaos Effect_ toyline."

"We should get them to somewhere safe," Rashida said, opening up a portal and ushering the two Spino-Rex minis into their RC. All of the other minis that had accompanied them up to this point were more than grateful to follow.

Meanwhile, the Stu, the Squall family, and the canons were escaping by swimming — which obviously wasn't sensible given the _Spinosaurus_ 's aquatic prowess. It seized the Stu in its jaws and swallowed him whole, but spat him back out a few moments later **along with a load of scales from a half-digested Mawsonia fish.**

" _Mawsonia_?" asked Falchion. "Isn't that an extinct species of coelacanth from the same time and location as _Spinosaurus_ in reality?"

"Your author must have a dinosaur book somewhere at home," Rashida noted.

Then Violet started, almost tumbling out of the bushes. "MOM!" she cried out, but her voice hadn't recovered, and so none of the other canons heard her over the confusion of the ensuing battle. The rest of the Parr family fended off the _Spinosaurus_ with relative ease.

"Oh, what a load of — " Falchion hissed, but he stopped himself and decided to vent his frustration by holding Violet back. If she returned to the family now, there would be trouble.

"Making the _Spinosaurus_ a total wuss _and_ having the Parrs not freak out at the sight of it?" Rashida snarled. "I'll count those as charges."

Falchion picked up two more mini-Omnidroids, helen and srah (the former of which must've taken a very long while to catch up — he could've sworn he'd seen it much earlier), before returning to his task of keeping Violet from rushing off to rejoin her family. "Vi, your family thinks you're dead. If you come back so soon, you'll freak them out. Especially with your missing leg."

"Oh. Ohhhhh," she groaned, slumping back to the ground. "I get it now. They'd think I'm a ghost, right?"

"I wouldn't be surprised at all," said Rashida. "You can already turn invisible."

And then some random barrels came loose, emptying their contents onto the heroes. They smelled vaguely rotten, and both agents grimaced.

" _Why_ ," Rashida spat, "for the love of Nut and all of her children, would Aperture or Jurassic Park store fucking _cheese dip_ on this island?!"

"I don't know," said Falchion. "But we have to portal. There's a shift storm incoming!"

"A what?" asked Violet.

"I'd explain in full, but it's really technical. Basically, your friend Sarah places a call to her boyfriend and his father. We'll be traveling between a South American island and somewhere in Florida multiple times in the space of a few seconds. It's bad for your health!"

Rashida wasted no time, opening up a portal and rushing the group through.

Unfortunately, in her rush to safety, she had picked the wrong destination.

 **[David:] The monster whirled, its tail smashing into my daughter and sending her into the water, and she went under and vanished. "NO!" I yelled, as TH got pissed.**

 **[TH:] Now I was REEEEALLY FUCKING STEAMED! noone does that to MY neice and gets away with it alive!**

 **i reached into the very clouds I worship and pulled down the rarest of all lightinings. balled lightning. if aimed right, it would cause the intire body of water to fire into the air and Sarah with it.**

 **aiming the ball at the edge of the river, I let it lose.**

 **[Sarah:] I don't know what happened next clearly. the next thing I knew, I was 12 feet in the air. the next, darkness...**

 **[Adam:] It all happened so fast I couldn't believe it had. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"**

 **[Kate:] Terrified, I screamed my daughter's name, but there was nothing we could do as my husband and his best friend flew down to safety.**

 **[David:] The water had literally exploded in a wall of fire and steam, shooting twenty feet into the air and sending the monster tumbling away. But Sarah, my daughter, was gone.**

From the agents' point of view, the wall of fire had burst into life _behind_ the _Spinosaurus_. Helen described how it **stood up, shook itself off, and lumbered away, snarling indignatly.** But as it reached the river's edge, it stopped and sniffed, no doubt catching the scent of blood. And then it turned its evil green eyes towards the direction of the jungle, away from the horrified Supers.

Falchion looked at the bloody stump where Violet's leg had once been, then back to the creature's gaze. His heart skipped a few beats.

It had smelled Violet's blood. _And it was looking straight at them._

The Spino roared, flashing its claws and teeth. Violet screamed, dropping her walking stick and grabbing onto Falchion for balance instead.

"Run! RUN!" Rashida cried. The three of them turned and fled pell-mell into the jungle, the enormous killer dinosaur right behind them.

Rashida was able to maneuver through the forest at top speed, and she would've lost the beast easily if she were alone. But while Violet and Falchion were doing their best to escape, the weight of a crippled canon meant that the Armor Bird couldn't move as fast as he wanted to. The _Spinosaurus_ was closing the gap!

"MOVE FASTER!" Violet shouted. "IT'S GAINING ON US!"

"Do you think I'm not trying?!" Falchion screamed back.

They twisted and turned, attempting to outmaneuver the sail-backed monster. It wasn't enough. Within a matter of seconds, the beast was just a maw's length away!

Violet looked wildly around, and then noticed a gap between some tree roots. "In there! Hurry!"

Falchion wasted no time. Within moments, the two of them had dived into the hollow beneath the tree and disappeared from sight.

Rashida wheeled around, ready to grab Falchion and rush him to safety, but he and Violet had gone. And then she heard a noise like two people screaming in terror.

The _Spinosaurus_ had poked its great toothy snout into the tree roots. There was a horrible ripping sound as its head went in just a bit deeper. Then it pulled its head out, and Rashida saw the scrap of torn black fabric, and the blood dripping from its teeth.

"NO!" cried the disguised Sphinx, clutching her chest as she felt a sharp, terrible pain shoot through her heart. The monster whirled, the noise catching its attention. She wanted to get past it and see if it had really done what she thought it had done, but there was no time.

Heedless of her increasingly frantic heartbeat, she turned and ran as fast as she could. She could feel the earth shaking beneath her feet, hear trees and branches snapping like twigs. She had to gain enough distance to portal to safety in time.

Then she saw it. A cliff face overlooking a waterfall. It was the only chance she had. The dinosaur was almost on top of her, the tip of its long toothy snout just ahead of where she was running. It snapped its jaws downward just as she jumped off the cliff.

She barely made it. She didn't care whether she was going to land in the water or splatter upon the rocks below. She dialed the portal on the RA and dived straight through.

An innumerable amount of universes away, a portal opened up in the Armory at the PPC HQ. Rashida flew right through, rolling onto the Generic Floor like a trained soldier. Still in her disguised form, she sprang to her feet and sprinted down the aisles of weapons until she found the ones canonical to the _Jurassic Park_ series. Within less than a minute, she'd picked up a Lindstradt air rifle with backup carbon dioxide canisters, along with four dart rounds of etorphine-based theropod sedative. She rushed over to the front desk, taking some of the jewelry she had stocked up from previous missions out of her Bag of Holding and tossing it to the Armory clerk. There was no time for explaining; she took out the RA, set it to transport her back into the fic, loaded the air rifle with the tranquilizer ammo, and leaped through the portal.

She landed in the jungle once again. It was eerily quiet — whatever creatures were hiding around her did not dare make a sound. Rashida raised her weapon, ready to fire.

"Come on," she whispered into the gloom. "Come _on_. Where are you?"

Then she remembered that she wasn't hunting the beast. It was hunting her. And it had already succeeded in catching her partner, and… and…

The Sphinx Agent stifled the horrible thought, instead focusing on the matter at hand. There was a dried twig at her feet, somehow. She nudged it with the toe of her shoe, and then, deliberately, she stomped on it as hard as she could.

The resulting CRACK probably echoed throughout the entire jungle. Then she sensed something coming in from behind. Something big.

Rashida whirled, fired the air rifle, and leaped to the side just as the _Spinosaurus_ met the spot where she'd been standing moments before. The first dart struck the roof of its mouth, and it stumbled, attempting to swipe at her with its vicious hand-claws. She loaded the next dart as it tried to find her, backing towards her like a double-decker bus with meathook-like teeth. Before it could crush her flat, she fired the gun and rolled sideways, this time nailing the back of its ankle. The dinosaur wheeled about, its jaws snapping the air, but as she backed away she loaded yet a third dart, which flew into the base of the creature's neck a moment later.

With that, she ran for her life, hoping that it was enough — she had just one dart left, and her next escape attempt might not turn out so well. The mutant reptile came after her with an angry roar, but its movements began to slow down, like someone intoxicated with too much wine. A few moments later, it fell to the ground with an almighty crash.

Turning around to face the creature, Rashida reached into her bag for her Neuralyzer. The Spino attempted to snap at her with its toothy jaws, but the fast-acting sedative was already doing its job. It spat out the empty dart that had landed in its mouth, its green eyes glaring at her with hateful intent.

She pulled out the little rod-shaped device, closed her eyes, and pushed the button. Judging by its confused snarl, the dinosaur had surely gazed into it when it went off.

"You are the apex predator of Isla Sorna, and you will continue going about your life of killing everything that crosses your path, the way you always have," she said. "You have never encountered any small clothed primates, prehistoric mammals, or abominations of improper characterization. You have never seen me, and you have never eaten a teenaged superhero from another world… or… my partner..."

She choked up at the last few words. She didn't want to believe that her partner had been taken away from her so soon, not on his very first and possibly only mission.

The _Spinosaurus_ drifted off to its own gruesome dreamland, no doubt murdering everything it pictured in its chemical-induced slumber. With a heart full of soul-crushing guilt, Rashida portaled off to the fourth and final Episode of the fic — unaware that some distance away, a certain collection of tree roots was beginning to move.

Maybe it was just the wind bending the tree supported by the root system. Or maybe, just maybe, it was a sign of life, of long-lost hope, struggling to break free.

* * *

[Falchion:] "That was _way_ too close," I gasped, pushing my way free of the tangle of roots. The gash on my arm where the teeth of the _Spinosaurus_ had torn through my sleeve was still bleeding, and I needed something to clean off the blood and bandage the wound. And something else was wrong as well.

"Oh, _cluck_ ," I muttered to no one in particular. "We're in scriptfic format again."

I sighed in exasperation, and turned to help Violet out. The poor girl was a total mess, crying and frantically brushing bugs out of her clothes and hair.

[Violet:] "Ugh, I _hate_ this place!" I sobbed as I climbed out from under the tree. "There's insects and slimy muck and giant murder-lizards everywhere!"

[Falchion:] "Dinosaurs are more closely related to birds, actually, but yeah, I feel your pain. C'mon. We've gotta catch up with the story. I hope we lost that Spino."

[Violet:] "And I think a snake got into my shirt at one point!"

[Falchion:] I looked around before taking the risk of calling out into the forest. "Hey, Rosie! We're safe! Come on out wherever you are! Rose?... Rose?... R-Rashida? Where are… where…"

The only sound in reply was crickets chirping in the background.

[Violet:] I stopped fidgeting and looked at Adam, noticing the gash on his arm. "W-where'd she go?" I asked, fearing the worst as I tore off a strip of fabric from my shirt.

[Falchion:] I looked at her, my expression turning bleak. "She's... gone," I said finally. "I don't know what happened to her. The _Spinosaurus_ must've chased her off. Or worse…"

I trailed off, not wanting to finish my train of thought. I instead took an alternate route, and finally acknowledged that for the first time in my life, I was scared to be on my own. The only company I had now was a crippled canon.

[Violet:] "Maybe she headed off into the river," I said helpfully, motioning for him to come over so I could bandage his arm. "I don't think large meat-eating dinosaurs can swim."

[Falchion:] The look I gave her would have peeled dried Sar-Plasm, and my next few sentences splattered the fresh version onto my cheek as well as a nearby tree. "So that means _Spinosaurus_ , which _clearly shows physical adaptations for a piscivorous lifestyle,_ is afraid of water, huh? _Brilliant_ idea! I wish I'd thought of it."

[Violet:] "Sorry. But Adam, I still think we should check the river. It's the only safe way off this island."

[Falchion:] "Good point. I need to wash this shit off anyway."

Unfortunately, Rosie still had both the RA _and_ the C-CAD with her when she got chased off, so I could tell that the script format would be here for a while. I picked up another walking stick for Violet before leading her down to the river by foot. She had helpfully bandaged my bleeding arm with the strip of fabric so I wouldn't lose too much blood, but I knew I needed first-aid as soon as I could get it. So instead of diving into the water and risking an infected arm, I simply washed off the Sar-Plasm with my good hand instead.

It was because of this that I was able to notice the body some distance away. She was lying on some kind of bed of leaves at a presumably abandoned campsite next to the river.

I rushed over to the unconscious female figure, my heart beating in my throat, expecting to discover the fate of my partner. But when I got there, I noticed something else.

She was young. About the same age as Violet, maybe just a few years older. And her straight, bedraggled black hair was, somehow, tied back in a ponytail, even after she'd gotten blasted sky-high by an explosion and nearly drowned at the bottom of a river.

I rolled Sarah's body onto her back, not knowing what to do. "Vi, do you know how to do CPR?" I asked.

[Violet:] "We'll need a defibrillator for that!" I cried out in panic. "She hasn't got any water in her lungs, hasn't she?"

[Falchion:] "One way to find out. How do I get her heart to start beating?"

[Violet:] "Just push her chest a few times. See if you can get her blood circulating."

[Falchion:] "But she needs medical aid — "

[Violet:] "And it's not going to come to us! We have to get her to a safe zone or whatever it is! Hurry, before something else decides to eat us!"

[Falchion:] I thought of the _Spinosaurus_ , and how it nearly killed both of us. Out here, we were easy meat. That was enough motivation to start pushing her chest frantically. "One, two, three! One, two, three! One, two, three! One, two..."

Then she punched me squarely in the jaw.

[Sarah:] I sat bolt upright, retched, and coughed up a quart of water. then I looked around to see… my brother, nursing the spot where i'd hit him.

"aaaah! Sorry, sorry!" I cried, before looking around. There was Vi… with a missing leg and a bandaged face, looking white as a sheet...

I let out a small scream of horror, and then blacked out again.

[Falchion:] "Three," I finished before turning to Violet. "I think you'll have to hide."

[Violet:] "Yeah, but… where?"

That was when I heard it. A distant noise like people rushing about and setting up some kind of big event. We headed over to the place as quickly as we could.

But just as we arrived at the campsite, we stopped. There was a fire burning in the midst of the oddly generic workers carrying supplies. And sitting in front of the fire was a girl that looked exactly like me. Without a doubt, it was the imposter that Adam had mentioned.

[Falchion:] "They're loading everything into a huge boat," I said. "It's our only way out. I can stash you there, but we can't let the fake you see us."

[Violet:] "Why? I want to know what she's doing here, and why those Aperture whackos have cloned _me_ of all people!"

[Falchion:] "Vi, we can't take that risk. If the imposter version of you sees us, she'll try to kill you."

[Violet:] "But she doesn't have any — "

[Falchion:] "Violet, she… She can turn into a _Tyrannosaurus_. If we try to jump her now, hundreds of people will be dead because of us."

[Violet:] I wanted to argue, but I couldn't. For once, I _needed_ to trust Adam's judgement. "Take me to the ship," I said. "I'll wait for you there while you get Sarah."

[Falchion:] "Let's sneak past those stacks of crates over there," I said, indicating the large wooden boxes. "As long as nobody notices us, we can get you on board without too much fuss."

[Violet:] "Great. Now, let's get out of this awful place. I've had enough near-death experiences for today."

[Falchion:] "That makes two of us."

With Violet holding on to me for balance, we crept past the crates, onto the gangplank, and into the cargo hold. After a bit of navigation, I managed to stash her in a generic storage room, the door of which I promptly marked with a spiral-shaped smear of my own blood from my wounded arm.

"I'll be back for you soon," I said. "Just lemme take care of Sarah first."

[Violet:] "Sure, sure."

[Falchion:] I shut the door behind her and headed off, managing to sneak back out of the boat, past the Generic Workers, and off into the jungle. To my immense relief, Sarah was still where we'd left her. I wondered if I should give her the so-called kiss of life, but thought better of it. So I did the next best thing: I pulled up her shirt and gave her a nice, big raspberry to the navel.

[Sarah:] "EEEHEHEHEHEHEEP!" I lauged, sitting bolt upright and clutching my ticklish tummy. I looked wildly around, sputtering for a bit, and then I saw a famliar face.

"A… Adam?!"

[Falchion:] Almost instinctively, I hugged her. "I've been looking all over for you! I nearly got killed by that _Spinosaurus_ before finding you. I really thought you weren't gonna make it!"

[Sarah:] "well, we're here now," I said. "Where's Mom? Dad? Uncle t?"

[Falchion:] "I'm sorry to tell you this, Sarah, but… they're gone," I said apologetically. "We've got a ticket out of here as well, though."

[Sarah:] My heart sank into a state of despair. I was about to ask what he meant by that when we herd a noise from the nearby bushes. "What's that?" I asked.

[Falchion:] "Get ready," I said, reaching for my bag. "If there's more of them…"

[Sarah;] "I'll show m!" I cried, immediatley rushing off into the bushes.

[Falchion:] I was about to warn her of the danger, but then someone went, "What the — hey!"

Sarah emerged from the jungle a moment later, dragging someone by the arm towards us. I recognized Roland Tembo straight away.

[Falchion:] "What in the — How did you find us?!"

"I heard some commotion near the river," Tembo explained. I noted that he didn't get his own scripted dialogue for some reason. "I saw what happened to this girl. She's been out cold for hours."

[Sarah:] I looked at him, a little confused. Ok, maybe a lot. "I was out cold?"

[Falchion:] "We got attacked by a _Spinosaurus_ ," I explained, more to Tembo than to Sarah. "It… wasn't a pleasant day for either of us."

"Where are your parents?" asked Tembo.

[Sarah:] "Gone," I said simply, my foice faltering. Then my face turned angry. "You were spyning on us, wernt you?!"

[Falchion:] "We encountered several other people on this island," Tembo explained. "I was afraid there'd be more, and I decided to go out to see if anyone else had tried to trespass. Don't worry, though. I'm not going to hurt you."

[Sarah:] WHACK! The great white hypocritce gog slapped. "Trspass?!" I shoulted angrily, making to punch his lites out. "But we were here to investigate — "

[Falchion:] "We were sponsored by Dr. Hammond to scout the island," I cut her off before she could hit him again. "We wanted to look for a friend we lost there. We… weren't successful."

Tembo thought this over for a moment and then sighed. "I guess I'll have to take you in, then. I'm… sorry for your loss."

[Sarah:] I puased for a moment to comprehend this. "But I… I… Oh, all righty, then," I said angirly, grabbing his arm. "Let's get off this stinking island already. I've had enough of dinosaurs for a while!"

[Falchion:] I followed Sarah and Tembo as we made our way towards the main worksite. And just in time too, because Chapter 26 began by that point. I hung back as the false Violet and Sarah reunited with each other, only for Tanya to arrive and for Tembo to explain that Sarah's parents were still alive. Sarah didn't take that news well.

I wondered if my supposed sister wanted to tell her that she'd seen the _real_ Violet, missing leg and all. But then we were interrupted by another familiar face turning up… Ludlow was back. Sarah somehow recognized him as a former friend, but that was before he proclaimed his _true_ plan: to destroy all non-human life.

My mouth fell open in shock and horror as ludlows, a rather weedy-looking mini- _Tyrannosaurus_ , came up to me. I didn't know whether to feel more enraged disbelief at the noncanonical friendship or at Ludlow's ridiculous scheme!

I snuck the tiny dinosaur into my Bag of Holding while Sarah and the fake Vi vented their anger at the antagonistic Replacement.

 **[Sarah:] "Peter, what the hell has come over you! You used to love animals. Remember when I took you to the zoo, and you fed the penguins?"**

[Falchion:] "Sarah, I… don't think this is Ludlow. He's probably an imposter, just like — "

[Sarah:] " _Do I look like I fucking care?_ "

[Falchion:] "Um, no."

[Sarah:] "Of course not! I was being rehtorical, you big, stupid, lather-winged… _dinosaur!_ "

I gasped in horor as I realized what Id said. But I was even jmore surprised when Adam didn't snap. In fact, he seemed slightly… off. I was about to ask about that when Ludlow spoke up, and my attention returned to him and his horrble masterplan.

 **[Vi:] "Times have changed, Sarah," Ludlow scowled. "All my past means nothing to me now. We will build a new world, the HUMAN world, and Homo sapiens will reign supreme."**

 **It was my anger that trumped that of everyone else. MY ANGER. The outburst that followed was so unexpected that even Sarah cringed.**

 **Shoving Sarah aside, I took position in front of him so my razor-sharp teeth and my blood-red slit-pupil eyes were just inches from his face. "Did you say what I thought you said? Did you say you wanted to accelerate the mass-extinction we ourselves caused and that we are trying to prevent? Did you say you wanted to eliminate ALL NON-HUMAN LIFE FORMS, and essentially DOOM YOUR OWN SPECIES TO EXTINCTION AS WELL IN THE PROCESS?! All for the innocent mistake of ONE LOUSY** _ **BIRD**_ **?! HOW STUPID** _ **ARE**_ **YOU** _ **?!**_ **"**

[Falchion:] Words could not describe the sheer rage I felt towards Not!Ludlow at that moment. Not!Vi was a vicious killing machine in the making, sure, but even _she_ could speak sense. If only for a few minutes.

The conversation trailed off with Ludlow ordering Tembo to take the girls onto the boat, with the narrative adding me in for good measure. He offered Tembo a job in Municiberg, but the hunter refused as he did in canon.

We headed off to some distance away from the worksite, and Tembo apologized to Sarah for trying to abduct her without knowing better, and she forgave him. He then warned us about Ripper's plans, and told us that the mutant _Deinonychus/"Velociraptor"_ had been abused during his childhood. I made a mental note to charge for a stereotypical Suvian past as an excuse for villainy.

I was about to ask if I could help, when Tembo pointed us to another Super, Plasmabolt, who apparently hadn't been killed by Syndrome. Then he wished us good luck, at which Sarah told him, " **You mister, have just become a hero in my book.** "

I held back as the others rushed off towards the boat. Tembo stayed behind as well.

"So, do you want to join your sister?" he asked. "That boat is your only way off this island now."

"Oh, absolutely," I replied. "But first, can you do me a favor? Look right this way…"

Remembering how Rosie had Neuralyzed those airport security officers, I took out my own Neuralyzer and closed my eyes as Tembo glanced at it. The little rod-like device went off with a FLASH!

"You're a big-game hunter who's just given up his career because he's lost a dear friend," I said. "You will never believe that Peter Ludlow wants to exterminate all non-human life, you have never known anyone named Velociripper or any uncanonical superheroes, and you will leave this island and retire in peace. I was never here, and neither was anyone under the surnames of Parr, Squall, or Zuckerman. On behalf of the Protectors of the Plot Continuum, thank you for your understanding, and have a good day."

And with that, I headed off and snuck on board the ship, managing to find a hiding place just before the narrative ended off the chapter by describing a multitude of inaccurate theropods stowing away as well. I hoped I'd locked the door to Violet's room…

[Violet:] It was a long while, before the door to my hiding place opened up; I must've fallen asleep during that time. At first I thought it was one of the crewmen, and instinctively, I went invisible out of habit, hoping nobody would notice my clothes. But for the first time in my entire life, I was immensely relieved to see Adam's face, disheveled as it was.

[Falchion:] "It's me," I said as I entered and shut the door behind me, before offering her an apple I'd found in the kitchen. "You don't have to hide."

I was thinking of cuddling close to her, but she had other ideas.

[Violet:] "No touching or kissing, please. I'm still mad at you for my missing leg," I said, before snatching the slightly overripe apple from him and taking a rather large bite.

I watched him sit down at the opposite end of the storage room instead as I continued eating. "So, does this mean we'll be seeing my family soon?"

[Falchion:] "Not quite. Your double's on board as well. Knowing this story, they'd find her first."

[Violet:] "Oh, lovely," I pouted. I paused to take another bite from my apple before speaking up again. "Where were you, anyway?"

[Falchion:] "Oh, going places," I replied. "Tailing the fake you in particular. And dodging acid-spitting dinosaurs, too. Apparently, the fake you actually quite likes being a dinosaur, since she presumably wants to fight alongside your family on equal footing. Sarah tried to convince her not to go through with it, and she got super-pissed at her for it. I tried to back her up, but everyone else took the fake you's side."

[Violet:] My eyes widened. "No. Way," I said.

[Falchion:] "And I also met this guy named Ludlow, who is an imposter from someone from a different story. He wants to destroy all non-human life."

[Violet:] I began feeling light-headed as I took this in. "But that doesn't make sense! We all depend on living creatures to exist!"

[Falchion:] "Yeah. I know. It _doesn't_ make sense. Which is why I'm going to send that fucker straight to the bowels of the Ghost World."

[Violet:] I blinked. "There's a Ghost World?"

That was when the boat lurched with a tremendous CRASH. I gave a small scream as I was dumped to the floor, the half-eaten apple in my hand flying across the room.

[Falchion:] "Wait here," I said as I helped her back to an upright sitting position and leaned her against the wall. "I need to check outside."

I rushed up to the deck of the ship, keeping to the stern to avoid being seen. I was expecting us to have run aground or something, and as it turns out, I was right — the ship had crashed into the pier at the Municiberg harbor, pretty close to where the Omnidroid had landed in the movie.

I squinted, trying to catch sight of the Parr family, when I noticed the Words had returned. Apparently, Sarah's father and Violet's brother had hopped on board the other side of the ship, no doubt to investigate what had happened. And then…

 **[Adam:] With a terrible roar like some kind of nightmare, the Spinosaurus burst out of the cargo hold and charged straight at the partygoers. Everyone who could move screamed in terror and ran like the dickens as, behind the monster, a whole army of Carnotaurs, raptors, dilos, and compies poured out of the boat and onto the street.**

 **Within seconds, the dinosaur army was tearing through the scene of the party, upsetting everything in sight - INCLUDING the catering table AND all the food on it - as they charged towards the city.**

 **When I returned to consciousness, I was lying, bruised and broken, in a spino footprint as Vi helped me up. "How the hell did they fit so many dinosaurs in there?" I asked.**

[Falchion:] "Convenience," I said to myself, echoing what Ripper had said in response to the question of how he'd gotten from California to Isla Sorna earlier. I went back to fetch the real Violet as the disaster cascaded across the harbor.

[Violet:] A few moments later, I was rushed out onto the ship deck just in time to see a half-man, half-dinosaur creature fighting two of the Squall family members, along with my dad's friend, Lucius Best (a.k.a. Frozone). The monster blasted the fake me with some kind of energy ray, which caused her to transform into a huge, vicious _Tyrannosaurus rex_!

"NO!" I cried out, but the real Adam covered my mouth. Tears leaked down my face as we watched the horror unfold, completely powerless to stop it.

[Falchion:] "Vi, shhh!" I whispered, watching as Dino!Vi charged, nearly treading on Dash twice in a row. Ripper proceeded to attack first her, and then the fake me. If there had been any chance to dispose of this Replacement before this point, it was gone now.

 **[Vi:] The moment the crazy bastard pinned Adam to the ground, I struck. One swipe of my tail sent him crashing into the (now mercifully empty) control tower. Of course, the victory roar ensued. I loved this new form, but it didn't come without its costs. It was big, awkward, and an easier target than I would have thought. And now I couldn't phase back to my human state.**

 **[Kate:] Meanwhile, I'd found Sarah and Dash, who were still shaken by the events of the battle. "Sarah!" I cried. "Is Violet okay?"**

 **[Sarah:] "Yeah, but she..."**

 **[Dash:] "...can kinda speak for herself..." I said as I pointed at dino Vi.**

 **[Kate:] The moment I looked at her, my eyes went wide with horror. "Violet... no..." I gasped.**

 **In that instant, I knew that everything that could possibly go wrong tonight... did. We were all going to have our hands full, in many more ways than one.**

[Falchion:] Chaos reigned. Generic People were fleeing for their lives, Random Dinosaurs were everywhere, and we were _still_ in the fic's eye-bleeding script format.

I had no idea what in the name of Arceus's majestic hat hair I was supposed to do. One thing was for sure, though: If Mean Old Rosie was still alive, she was going to _kill me_.


	7. Chapter Six: Six Feet Under

**Chapter Six: Six Feet Under**

 **The Incredibles: Rise of the Galeforces - Chapter 30: Revelations**

 **Municiberg, 7:00 PM, Monday, March 18, 1980**

 **[Kari:] I can vaugly remember in the back of my mind, being temporarily kidnapped taken in for questiioning for some reason. dunno why. I guess it was just a dream. Anyway, I felt kinda bad for Vi, for taking her boyfriend. But sometimes these things happen. you can't just covor it up saying love doesn't exist and go on spouting bull about divorce rates, and then expect shit to get better. Anyway, I was with Tony, Babysitting the cute lil Jack-Jack.**

 **i had my feet rested up on a stool and was drinking some coffee while watching the tv. Then my favorate show was interupted by an emergentcy news flash. The dinos from the new jurassic park place had escaped into the city and were now trying to eat peopke. I gulped and ran to find tony.**

" _Kos omak,_ " Rashida swore under her breath as she continued noting charges down. "When is this mission ever going to _end?!_ "

The Sphinx agent had been keeping track of the Parr and Squall families for several chapters now, along with their allies including another newly freed Super, Howard "Dynaguy" Zuckerman (who was a police officer in this fic and had had zero interest in Super publicity). There hadn't been anything too special — just a few backstories, and of course another ridiculous tickle-fight. How many more of those was this author going to include?

Things just weren't the same without her partner, however. It was hard to admit, but she missed arguing with him all the time — if anything, at least it gave her something to do. Now, she was operating solo for the first time in a very long while.

Rashida picked up two more mini- _T. rex_ es, jurassic park and Jurassic park (What was Agent Cadmar's mini doing here, anyway? She made a mental note return this mini to its owner ASAP), and took refuge in the backyard next to Kari's house. Feeling the earth vibrate beneath her, she peeked over the fence, and ducked back down almost immediately. A _Spinosaurus_ was drinking from Kari's backyard pool.

She risked another glance, just in time to see the Stu rush into said house, before the _Spinosaurus_ promptly smashed the house to bits.

Three more mini-Omnidroids, tony, Jack-Javk, and parrs, rolled up to her as she watched Kari and Tony — apparently they were being passed off as a couple in this fic — flee the wrecked house; the Stu, less lucky for once, had been stomped to a glittery pulp. She clung to the hope that that was the end of him until she remembered that he healed fast, as he himself had said. The Stu muttered something about " **the distal portions of large theropod hindlimbs** " before trying and failing to sit up straight.

Just then, Sarah arrived, trailing some random text in parentheses behind her. And then the uncanonical house-wrecking Spino attacked the group, going after Jack-Jack like the baby-killing monster it was. A full sized _T. rex_ showed up as well, prompting a quick facepalm from the disguised Sphinx.

As Sarah, the canons and the Stu scrambled for cover, the _T. rex_ did battle with the uncanonical Spino, just like in the third _Jurassic Park_ movie. Only the outcome of this fight was very different. The T. rex was _winning_ — and with far too much ease for comfort.

Diego dropped in to help a moment later (where were the other _Ice Age_ canons, anyway?), and Sarah explained that Vi had gotten hit by Ripper's devolution ray. The Stu began explaining how to restore her to normal, only to get stepped on by the T. rex — who was, of course, revealed to be the fake Vi. The Stu, naturally, continued his explanation without missing a beat. Apparently, Dino!Vi would never be entirely human anymore.

The T. rex quickly took apart the replacement Spino, roared in triumph, and started to devour its fallen opponent. Sarah was forced to explain that the Stu was her brother. Upon being asked to help take the group to the uncanonical J.P. headquarters in Municiberg, Tony offered his sports car, bringing up _Mario Kart_ even though the franchise wouldn't begin for another twelve years.

Everyone's attention shifted to the report on TV, and Rashida knew the next scene was about to start. As she set up a portal, however, she had a feeling that this night was going to be even longer than she had expected.

 **[Bob:] I looked up at Megamind with a HUGE look of hope in my eye. "so, your saying it could be used on vi aswell?"**

 **[megamind:]"pretty much...buuuut there will by side effects that'll stay with her the rest of her life i'm afraid..." I hung my head sadly.**

 **[Helen:] "But... What are we going to do?" I asked, greatly saddened at this. "Even if we're to restore her human form, our daughter will never be the same."**

The agent gritted her teeth as she read the Words. "She won't be the same, all right," she hissed. "That's because she's going to be _dead._ "

She was beginning to wonder about how to kill a Suvian _T. rex_ single-handedly when she heard a scream from somewhere off in the distance. It sounded like… Violet! She raced over to where she guessed the frightened cry had come from.

Rashida knew this Violet was the real one by her still-missing leg and stick-crutch. A small feathered dinosaur with an 'eery' glow was clinging to her shirt, attempting to chew her face off.

"ADAM! HELP!" she cried, attempting to wrench the tiny, vicious-looking bird-creature off of her.

"Hold still!" a familiar voice replied. A boy who looked exactly like the Stu rushed over to her and picked up a wooden board to hit the little feathered raptor with. But then it whirled, screeched at him with hateful, bloodthirsty rage, and leaped at his face, madly flapping its clawed wings. Falchion closed his eyes and swung blindly with a loud yell, wondering whether he'd hear the noise of the plank meeting ripper the mini-Stu or feel the little monster's claws tearing into his skin.

What he heard was a loud BANG, and 'eery' luminescent feathers flew everywhere as he felt glittery pink blood spatter onto his shirt. It was then that the disguised Skarmory realized that they were back in third person. _Could this mean that — ?!_

"FALCHION!" Rashida shrieked in CAPSLOCK, putting her gun away and charging at him. "I'M GOING TO WRING YOUR FUCKING NECK!"

Falchion turned to face her, a yelp of fright escaping his lips. She was upon him before he could even take a backward step. But instead of beating him to a pulp like he had been expecting, she scooped him up in a crushing hug that knocked the air out of his lungs.

"Rose!… You're… alive?!"

"You almost gave me a fucking _heart attack_!" she cried, almost sobbing as she spun him around joyously and set him onto the ground again before slapping his face. "I thought you'd been eaten… NEVER frighten me like that again. _Never!_ "

"Like it's my fault that thing nearly killed us both," Falchion muttered, though he was still smiling as he rubbed his cheek.

Rashida shook him hard. "STILL! I seriously thought I was going to finish this mission _alone!_ If you run off for real, I'll have you melted to fucking _slag!_ "

"Well, I'm not going to," the Skarmory replied. "No way. I've seen so much already that I can't _not_ do something about it."

"A wise choice," Rashida replied, half stern, half relieved as she hugged him again. "Now, about that canon you had with you..."

They both turned to Violet, who waved meekly.

"So… I guess you're going to get me to the hospital now?" asked the injured canon.

"Oh, absolutely," said Rashida.

"Are you _sure_ you don't want to join us for the rest of this mission?" Falchion asked tentatively. "Your powers may come in really handy against a prehistoric killer reptile."

"Adam, don't be stupid," Violet responded. "I'll only be a hindrance to you in this state. Even if I _could_ get a force field up at the right time, you'd still have to haul me around. I'll only serve to give those monsters something else to eat."

"She's right," Rashida agreed, handing Falchion the notebook and pen. She set up two portals, one to Medical for her and Violet and one to later in the fic for her partner. "We'll have to skip all the senseless violence to save time. I'm going to get Violet to safety regardless, though. In the meantime, wait for me in the latter half of Chapter 34. We've got some Stus to slaughter."

"Good to know," said Falchion, as he helped the canon Super up and lent her to his partner for transport. "And Vi? I'm sorry. For everything."

"Consider yourself forgiven," Violet smiled, before giving him a quick peck on the cheek, for old times' sake. "Oh, and no more dinosaurs for a while, okay?"

Falchion blushed even harder, but managed to smile back. "It's a deal."

 **[Adam:] I stood up, dusting myself off, but something didn't feel right. "Easy for you to say," I said, turning and heading back towards the boat. "I don't think there's going to be any truly simple way to reverse the - "**

 **My sentence was cut off by my panicked scream. The feathery red blur leaped off the top deck and all the way down onto right where I was standing. Next moment, my entire torso exploded in pain.**

 **Ripper hadn't died, obviously. He was too good a Big Bad for that. My arms feebly reached up and tried to push his head away as he tore into my innards, avenging my defiance against him.**

Falchion landed smack in the midst of the action, and cringed sympathetically as Adam's intestines spilled out onto the ground. After all, he clearly remembered this moment from the Stu's point of view.

Rashida arrived just in time for the fake Vi to start fighting Ripper, and she properly bandaged his wounded arm while the two Suvian dinosaurs squared off. They both knew waiting was only going to give the glowing mutant " _Velociraptor_ " more time to prepare for attacking another fic. As the fight raged on, the writing became worse and worse.

 **[Vi:] "NO!" I thought. "I've got this!"**

 **"Oh, so YOU want to put a stop to my reign of terror?" Ripper sniggered, this time in perfect English. It scared me a little... okay, okay. It scared me a LOT. "What makes you think you're the one for the job?"**

 **"Because my lineage was what displaced yours," I thought, channeling my inner tyrannosaur princess for the first time. "Our empire was far more balanced, wise, and just than any of you EVER will. We reduced your forces to coyote-sized hunters who could never again tackle large prey and conquer whole continents like you used to!"**

 **"And that is why I want you to stand BY my side, not try to bite my head off!" Ripper screeched. "YOU are the perfect predator, the PERFECT soldier!"**

 **"Perfect? What do you know about perfect? What does ANYONE in this fanfiction know about PERFECT?!"**

Dino!Vi then repeated some dialogue from the start of her home movie, word for word. She had apparently been spying on the NSA files somewhere — but then again, Violet herself had been given access to the NSA database if the start of the fic was any indicator. How else could she have said that the information was confidential?

"I hate to say this," Falchion said, "but it seems like Ripper is going to lose. Should we just press charges and let him die as to the fic dictates?"

"Maybe," replied Rashida. "Let's just wait a little longer and see how it goes."

The Sphinx agent reached into her bag, pulled out a small metallic scarab beetle, and began recording a message. Meanwhile, the gang had managed to inject a Miracle Cure into Dino!Vi, who changed back into the imposter version of the Super teen. And then, just when it seemed that things couldn't get any worse, they did.

 **[Adam:] We all turned as the ground began to shake. Suddenly, coming over the horizon came the biggest stampede I'd ever seen in my life.**

 **EVERY cartoon animal in HISTORY was there - yes, even Blu, the Five-Dino Band from the Land Before Time, and the Mane Cast from My Little Pony.**

 **The moment they hit the crowd, chaos ensued. Ludlow's men screamed and emptied their guns as the animals and birds fell upon them with tooth and claw, and even the dinosaurs backed down. I could see a whole horde of Scrats, including the original Scrat and Scratte, beating up one of the commanders. I could even see the mother Pteranodons, commanded by Petrie and some of his siblings, beating up a few of Ludlow's soldiers and leaving them to the mercy of their hatchlings. Yes, mother and daughter, father and son joined in the fight. And so did we.**

Rashida stared in horror at the ensuing carnage, unable to make heads or tails of anything. Clutching her chest in resumed pain, she silently gave Falchion another Alexandrian Death Stare. This fic, its author, _and_ her partner would be _dead_ by the time they were done.

Falchion metaphorically withered at her gaze for a moment, and then nodded. From this point on, he guessed, the fic was beyond any hope of preservation.

Ripper tried to abduct Jack-Jack, but got a comical beatdown from the baby Super before Terrordactyl sent him over the edge of the dock. But he clung to the side of the pier with his claws, still determined as ever to achieve his goal.

"Now's your chance!" Falchion cried. "Press the charges before it's too late!"

Rashida didn't need to be told twice. She released the scarab, which flew towards Ripper in what they assumed were his final moments.

 **[Sarah:] NO! NONONONONONONONONO! I'm projecting my NO at this! No! Ripper had suvived WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY TOO many times! NOW he WAS going to fucking die. I used my powers to summon two birds.**

 **they grabbed rippers tallons, and pulled them off two by two.**

 **"WIL. YOU. JUST. DIE!"**

 **[Vi:] "SISTER!" Ripper screamed as Blu and Tweety loosed him from the pier wall. "HELP ME RISE TO POWER! JOIN ME, AND WE WILL RETURN TO THIS WORLD TOGETHER!"**

[Falchion:] Rose's metallic scarab beetle flew in from the sky and landed on Ripper's remaining finger. Its robotic legs clung to it as though about to pry it free.

"Velociripper," it spoke in distorted but familiar voice, "or Ripper for short. By order of the Protectors of the Plot Continuum, you are hereby convicted of being a Gary Stu on account of far too many charges to list. The most significant of these include wanting to exterminate humanity for no sensible reason other than being evil, releasing an army of dinosaurs into a city of innocent people, initiating a hostage situation for no reason other than being evil (again), being a non-human species that speaks fluent English, threatening to kill a PPC agent, and having an 'eery' glow. For these crimes and many more, you will be left to rot in the bellies of your own followers. Goodbye."

As the beetle began slowly prying his clawed finger loose, the luminescent Stu felt the emotion known as "fear" for the first — and last — time. For he knew, in that instant, that his life was finally at an end.

[Not!Vi:] **That was when a moldy watermelon rolled up to my feet. Suddenly, I knew what to do. Picking it up, I headed over to the edge, and scowled down at him.**

 **"No thank you," I spat. "I believe I've spent enough time working in the company of death. Besides..."**

 **"...I will NEVER be your sister!"**

 **And with that, I dropped the watermelon. Onto his terrified face.**

 **Splat!**

 **"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he screamed, as he plummeted into the maw of King Krok, whose teeth closed around him as he slipped back into the water and out of sight.**

The remote-controlled Scarab Drone, fresh from Rashida's home continuum, flew back and rejoined them. She pocketed it a moment later with a satisfied huff, before shooting rippers the mini-Stu to glittery, feathery flesh confetti.

"One down, three to go," Falchion smiled.

"Soon to be two to go," Rashida added. "You know what, let's skip to the tail end of the final battle. This ridiculous fight scene is going to give me a heart attack before long!"

She dialed the RA to the last half of Chapter 35, and took the disguised Skarmory through. _Just a little bit longer,_ she thought, _and this will all be over._

 **[Vi:] "Oh, so you DO know how to handle things," said Ludlow as he prepared to snap the wire keeping his vest together. "Run away while you still can, Violet. I will disconnect the cable on my nuclear bomb vest, and in ten seconds, Municiberg will be no more!"**

 **"My name is UltraViolet," I snarled, and when I opened my eyes, they glowed a brilliant, bright purple with arcs of energy streaming from them. "And I am THROUGH RUNNING!"**

Falchion and Rashida watched the overpowered UltraViolet take on the enemy tanks before taking a blow from Not!Ludlow's vehicle. Then, after some persuasion from Sarah and a poorly timed _The Lion King_ reference, she transformed into her dinosaur form, known in-fic as V-Wrex. The fight looked like it was on the side of the dinosaur, along with some of the other _T. rexes_ who joined her, until the antagonistic replacement tried to shoot her in the face. Then 'Chomper', the father _T. rex_ , heroically (and predictably) took the shot in the eye for her.

Rashida felt the chest pain again, stronger this time. She sank to her knees, clawing at her torso.

"Are you okay?!" her partner cried, reaching to her.

"Don't fucking touch me!" she snarled, taking out her pistol. "This one is _mine_."

 **[Adam:] I was panicking, fearing that any second now, the second greatest predator on Earth would be lost forever. And then the flower glowed feebly.**

 **Realizing what I had to do, I took it out of my tuxedo for the last time, and placed it on his wounded eye socket. And then I closed my eyes, and started to sing.**

 **[Adam:]** **Flower gleam and glow**

 **Let your powers shine**

 **Make the clock reverse**

 **Bring back what once was mine**

Falchion felt his teeth chattering, almost like a stork clattering its beak. It was a sign of growing rage, no doubt against the story.

"And now a _Tangled_ shout-out," he groaned. "Looks like this Stu is a stereotypically good singer as well. And that is just about the dumbest _deus ex machina_ I have ever seen!"

Rashida somehow managed not to choke on a hairball as the fake Vi ripped the tank apart, tore the bomb-vest from not!Ludlow and used it to destroy a giant enemy aircraft. "Can we just kill these fuckers already?! I'm sick and tired of all this _khara_!"

"We can't!" Falchion shrieked. "Not while they're out in the open! Everyone will see us!"

"I don't care anymore. We'll have to neuralyze everyone anyway. It's not like there'll be any damage done!"

There was a BANG as the fake Ludlow shot the fake Vi, and then the Stu used one last flower to save her with a Kiss of Life(™).

"There _will_ ," Falchion replied. "If we blow our cover now, there's going to be at least a dozen continua that will know of the PPC in some way or another!"

"Who the Duat cares?!" Rashida roared, aiming her pistol at Not!Ludlow's head. "As long as all the poorly written characters here are dead, it'll be fucking _worth it_."

"Rose, have you lost your mind?!" Falchion made to wrench the gun away from her as the baby _T. rexes_ from _Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs_ appeared, looking highly furious.

"I SAID DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!" she yowled, scratching instinctively at his bandaged arm. He cried out as her nails scraped against the bandaged wound, distracting her for a moment as he sank to his knees from the pain.

 **[Adam:] The babies moved forward menacingly. Ludlow looked up, and smiled at them. I wondered if he saw Sarah and his other friends instead of three very hungry and extremely angry baby dinosaurs. "Come to me..." he smiles serenely. "Let me join you, my friends... So... Beautiful..."**

 **And then, their faces turned red, their pupils narrowed into thin slits of fury. And then, for the first time in their lives, they roared. It was a rather falsetto, screeching roar, but it sounded terrifying all the same, especially because now we could all see all 150 razor-sharp serrated teeth gleaming in the moonlight.**

 **Ludlow screamed. His face turned pale and his eyes went wide and round as baseballs as he let out a long, loud, high-pitched, piercing scream of complete and absolute terror.**

 **Warning: Do NOT read the next four paragraphs if you want your sanity intact.**

Falchion realized what was going to happen, and tried to force Rashida down, but she punched him in the face before he could touch her. He collapsed again, bleeding from his nose, but it was too late to shout a warning. Right then and there, in full view of the entire cast _and_ the unfortunate agents, the baby _T. rexes_ fell upon the terrified Replacement and ripped him to shreds.

Four excruciating paragraphs of horrifyingly graphic detail later, Not!Ludlow's severed head, torn from his body, smashed into some kind of invisible screen, mere inches from Rashida's face. His eyes, wide and unknowing, gazed blindly into her own, and the agents watched his wretched head fall to the ground with a sickening _whump_.

 **Momma and Chomper both stuck their heads over the ledge, looking down upon the gruesome scene. And they nuzzled their snouts together as they observed their babies deliver a triple victory roar, complete with the obligatory lightning strikes, before resuming their feast upon Ludlow's streaming, blood-drenched flesh.**

It was too much. The awful writing of this badfic, the horror of the character replacements, the final, terrible death of the story… All the stress she had tried to hold back finally broke through, and her mind, her soul, and her bodily functions basically imploded.

Rashida's visage drained of color as she clutched her chest in pain, unable to move or even breathe as a cold sweat broke out all over her body. Her vision began to turn fuzzy around the edges, and her head began feeling light and dizzy, as though a stake that had been hammered into the back of her head had been withdrawn.

Her mouth opened in a silent scream of anguish, and then she slumped to the floor, overwhelmed by the blinding pain… and everything was gone.

[Falchion:] The C-CAD decided to bluescreen an instant later. I realized that the scriptfic format was back and that my partner had practically dropped dead a half-second after that.

"Rose? ROSE!" I cried, shaking her lifeless form with a terrified expression, my heart pounding in my throat.

She didn't respond.

"No… NononononoNO, she can't… She didn't… no… Please, no…"

Tears began streaming down my face as I realized what had happened. Instantly, I grabbed the communications device from my partner's belt, and dialed the number for Medical.

"AGENT DOWN! I REPEAT, AGENT DOWN!" I cried. "I need medical assistance, pronto!"

I snatched the RA from my partner's body and the temporal anchor from her bag, before opening up a portal to Medical. A young man with shoulder-length, curly brown hair, wearing a white doctor's coat, was the first to step through to our side.

"Is she okay?" he asked, looking down at her with an expression of worry.

There was a long, terrible moment of silence. "...No," I said finally.

The doctor, along with several nurses, loaded Rose's body onto a medical stretcher, and hauled it into the Medical Ward. There was the slightly comical image of her unconscious figure turning into a very large cat with wings and a human head, making the stretcher twice as heavy, but I paid it little consequence.

I waited for several painful minutes, anticipating the worst. Then the doctor came up to the portal, without coming over to my side.

"She's still alive," he said, "but just barely. Cardiac arrest, reversible through shock defibrillation. I'm glad you contacted us in time. Just curious, though — how did you get our address?"

"I saw her open up a portal to Medical a while ago," I explained. "It was easy enough to figure out the address. Thank you, Doc… er, what's your name?"

"Dr. Alexander Appleday," he replied. "And you?"

"Falchion. Floater, Armor Bird Pokémon…" I choked up for a moment, but then steeled myself for what was to come. "...and soon-to-be Gary Stu killer."

"Good luck," said Dr. Appleday. "If things are that bad where you're at… you'll need it."

"Thanks, Doc," I said, looking into my Bag of Holding for a moment before turning my head towards the gruesome scene behind me, a murderous expression on my face as I set the temporal anchor. "You don't have to worry about me, though. I have a plan."

 **[Adam:] That was when a shadow loomed over me and Vi. Chomper was looking down at us, his face now serene and peaceful.**

 **"Hey," he said in Saurian to the two of us. "Thank you, for everything."**

 **"Not my problem," I said as I gave him a fist-bump. "Just part of my regular routine."**

 **[Vi:] Although this was a grimdark ending, we all knew one thing. The Golden Age of Supers was back, and this time, it was here to stay.**

 **The Incredibles: Rise of the Galeforces - Chapter 35: Ludlow's Last Stand**

 **...There! :phew:**

 **Now all I need to post is the epilogue and this fanfic (or rather what's left of it) is DONE! :iconfluttershyyayplz:**

 **Note: There's a reason I restricted this chapter to 18 and up. That reason being that it contains what may be the goriest and most horrifying death I have ever written in a fanfic. Of course, seeing how Ludlow pretty much screwed the entire cast over at this point, well, I did what I had to. :shrug:**

 **All characters (c) their respective owners.**

[Falchion:] And then… silence. The chapter ended, but there was no transition, no hastily-written epilogue. The temporal anchor was doing its job well.

Without any continuation of the narrative to go on, the characters went about as though this were any other night, albeit a night filled with horrors beyond their wildest imagination. The _T. rex_ family moved off to do their own things, while Adam and the fake Vi shared another Moment. Then the Stu decided to take a little stroll, his intentions unclear without any narrative to explain them.

I hid at the mouth of a dark alley, shadows concealing my figure as the Stu came into sight. The air rifle I'd taken from Rosie's corpse was loaded and ready, but now there was a slight… oversight on my part. It was only when the Stu came into sight that I began to realize that he wasn't exactly… clear in my vision. From a distance, he seemed rather blurry.

Apparently, I'd all but forgotten that I was nearsighted in this disguise. I decided to change tactics a bit after realizing that.

Picking up a small pebble lying around, I chucked it at the Stu, who was milling about aimlessly at first, but quickly noticed when it glanced off his temple. His glasses focused on me, and with a gasp, he realized that an exact doppelganger of him was staring in his direction. I flexed my finger in a beckoning gesture.

Curious, the Stu drew closer. Just a few more steps, and he'd be within range of clear vision. Just a little closer…

And then he stopped. "Who are you?" he asked.

"The author," I replied. It was now or never. I pointed the tranquilizer gun in his direction, not caring whether I hit the jugular, the shoulder, or some other area, and fired.

[Falchion:] An indeterminate length of time later, the Stu sleepily opened one eye and then the other. He sat up, pulling the empty dart from his chest, and noticed that his clothes were gone. He was now dressed in nothing but a pair of briefs, somehow clean of grime.

He got up shakily, looking around. He was in some kind of train yard… but where?

A random train passed behind him, and he whirled around. Before long, it had passed by completely — and there I was, as though I had appeared out of no-where (though I'd actually dropped my SEP field while the train passed). I was wearing the Stu's suit, and holding a familiar device — a mutation ray, dropped by Megamind earlier in the fic.

"W-wha?" the Stu asked, looking worried. "Where am I? W-who — "

"The railroad yard where a certain Mr. Bob Parr exercised in after his first assignment on Nomanisan," I explained, my eyes narrowed into dark, predatory slits behind my glasses. _His_ glasses. "I figured that since everyone was distracted by the carnage that transpired tonight, this would be the perfect place to deal with the _real_ threat."

"The real threat?" he asked, looking wildly around. "B-but… I thought we got rid of all the…"

"Not quite. Now, I have a question for you. Is your family truly safe with you 'protecting' them?" Hopefully he wouldn't perceive the implied air quotes.

His breathing quickened as he tried to look into my sky-blue eyes, but found it difficult.

"I… yes, I would say so," he said finally.

"You're lying," I hissed. "Don't even try to deny it. I know everything. I've seen it with my own eyes. But more than that… I've _felt_ it. I've felt it with my own heart, mind, body, and soles — er, soul. Sorry."

The Stu looked down at his bare feet, and then tried to make eye contact with me again, with slightly more success. "What do you mean? Are you trying to imply that you _are_ me? Is that why you look like me?"

I smiled dangerously. "Clever boy. Technically, you're right. I _am_ you. I am you two years from now, give or take a few months. It may seem like a short while, but it's plenty of time to look back at the terrible things my author — _our_ author — once did."

"Our author?" he asked in confusion, but I continued as though I hadn't heard him.

"As a matter of fact, I _have_ looked back," I said. "And what I saw was a total mess. A gruesome monument to my author's once inflated self-worth, a twisted nightmare that made complete and utter _mockery_ of all the characters and stories involved."

"What do you mean?" he asked. I noticed his fingertips growing vicious claws, and I realized that my time was running out. "Are you trying to accuse me of being a parasitic hack who can't take a hint?!"

"I'm not accusing you of anything," I replied, arming the mutation ray with a dangerous glare. "But that bit about you being a parasitic hack? That's the truth. Every single word of it. Because _you_ , Adam, are the _real_ threat."

That did it. Adam launched himself at me with a feral scream, attempting to transform in the process, but I fired my mutation ray at the same time. It all seemed to happen in slow-motion. The energy bolt lanced his heart, and features grew haphazardly as he arced through the air towards me. I attempted to dodge, but the terrible Stu-beast slashed at my arm, tearing a deep, bleeding gash. His claws didn't quite make it out; in fact, they hooked into my flesh and dragged both of us down.

Heedless of the pain, I tore him loose, threw him to the ground, sprang to my feet… and more or less completely lost my shit.

As Adam turned to spring at me again, unable to fly but still armed to the teeth, I leaped forward and lashed out with a much stronger kick than my long skinny legs would have suggested. Spike-like teeth sprayed everywhere as I fell upon him, kicking and stomping and screeching and swearing with a long-suppressed fury. If I'd known it existed then, I would have compared my attack style to a World One bird, the cassowary.

"Adam Terrence Squall, a.k.a. Terrordactyl: By order of the PROTECTORS OF THE _FUCKING_ PLOT CONTINUUM, you are hereby _fucking_ convicted of being a fucking Gary Stu on account of _THE FOLLOWING FUCKING CHARGES_ : Writing your entire Arceus-damned fic in a _completely fucking confusing_ format, combining _at least_ eleven fucking continua in a _truly fucking nonsensical_ manner, i.e., your Speshul alternate form (including a shit-ton of anachronisms and the most _terribly_ written crossover crack-ship I've ever fucking _seen_ ), being an unspeakably shitty author insert, making Aperture Science experiment with genetic engineering when its specialty is fucking portal technology, making _everybody_ act _completely fucking OOC_ , sticking too many tickle fetish scenes where they weren't needed, assigning stupid names to character attacks, falling in Twu Wuv with a canon and causing her to do the same, having a fucking Speshul alternate form at all, directly referencing TV Tropes where it was neither funny nor fucking appropriate, forcing the protagonists on an extremely dangerous and _UTTERLY FUCKING POINTLESS_ story arc, creating too many fucking minis to count, fucking _plagiarising_ both _Jurassic Park_ sequels _and_ totally fucking up their timelines while doing so — Those movies took place _four fucking years_ apart from each other, for crying out loud! — _COMPLETELY FUCKING REPLACING_ the characters of Violet Parr and Peter Ludlow, _destroying_ the fourth wall in a poorly scripted manner, spending the last six chapters _FUCKING GLORIFYING_ senseless violence, using a _fucking stupid_ Deus Ex Machina to bail people out, endangering PPC agents, fucking _incapacitating_ PPC agents, enraging PPC agents beyond reasonable fucking capacity, and MOST OF ALL, **BEING A COMPLETE FUCKING DISGRACE TO** _**HIS OWN FUCKING AUTHOR**_ **, YOU SICK FUCKING FUCKETY FUCKING** _ **FUCKING**_ _**FUCK!**_ "

My eyes flooded with tears of blind rage that poured down my face as I finished practically screaming out the charge list, my shoes caked with glitter and my heart flooded with shame. I had never spoken in **boldface** or CAPSLOCK before, let alone both at the same time, but I was far too infuriated to care.

I stepped off my duplicate's mangled body and turned to inspect my handiwork. The beating I had given him had smashed all of his ribs, puncturing a lung in the process, ruptured his spleen, snapped all of his limbs like matchwood, and broken off a fragment of his skull that pierced his brain, among _many_ other injuries. But even if I had shut down his metamorphosis, he could still heal. He could still live.

"For _all_ of these crimes, and many, _many_ more," I half-sobbed, half-hissed, "your punishment is a swift and painful death. And I know just the way to give it to you."

He raised his broken head to look up at me, one eye swollen and useless. "H… H-how?" he choked, glittery blood dripping from his mouth.

With an ominous grin that promised certain doom, I took out my Neuralyzer with one hand, and unfolded my hitherto unused switchblade with the other. "I will ensure that you and your girlfriend remain together, _permanently_. After all… it's what we both want, isn't it?"

[Sarah:] It as over. It was al over. The horible nightmare, and all of my memrories of it… were gone.

However, I had other questions about wha had happened, not tonight but throuout the prvious week. Hd I seen two Adams, or two Violets? And why had we gone all the way to that horrible island in the first place, ifit had all been for absolurtely nothing?

I found my brother sitting on a lone chair on one of the docks of the wreked harbor. From the red on his face, he had been crying. For some reason, his shoes wer all blloody, like he'd waded thru a corpse or somthing.

"Adam?" I asked patting hi shoulder. "Are you ok?"

[Falchion:] "Hey Sarah," I said, turning my head weakly to see her. I had been thinking about how close to death my partner had come, and how it had all been my fault in a sense. Now, though, I knew what to do. But first, I needed a little Helping Hand.

[Sarah;] "Hey. Why so sad, bro/ It's over. The nightmare is ogne."

[Falchion:] "Ogne?"

[Sarah:] "Gone, I said. gone!"

[Falchion:] I laughed weakly, and then sighed a little. "Sarah, I hate to break this to you, but… I have a feeling we might not be out of the woods just yet."

[Sarah:] "Wait. Does this meanw e have to fight _another_ bd guy?"

[Falchion:] "In a way, yes."

[Sarah:] "But I thought we got rid of all the bad gys here. Were safe now."

[Falchion:] "I take it you mean we _were_ safe. But we won't be for long. Not if Vi has anything to say about it."

[Sarah:] "V-Vi? but she saved us! She's our frend! you arent gonna fight her… aren;t you?"

then I paused. "Wait. Are you trying to tell me there is somthing rong with her?"

[Falchion:] "Yeah, well, about that… She, well… She…"

[Sarah:] As I continued listning, Adam's face turnde downcast, as he stopped speaking Englih and proceeded to let out a seres of trilling, clicking, an chirpng noises capped of by a hiss like an angyr goose. for a moment I was confsued about how he was able to speak bird all ofa sudden, but then his speech begn to sink in, and my eyes sudenly widened in stark horror.

"she's _**WHAT?!**_ "


	8. Chapter Seven: Seven Bloody Hells

**Chapter Seven: Seven Bloody Hells**

It felt very strange to Sarah, being in a 'third-person narrative' (as her supposed brother had called it). She was so used to the first-person/scriptfic format that the entire world felt… off. If you considered the setting a character in a story, Sarah's new world was smack in the middle of the Uncanny Valley.

She was much more preoccupied by the information Falchion had relayed to her, however, for it was more important in her eyes. He had explained everything the fake Vi could do if left unchecked, and why letting her have her way was ultimately a very bad idea. But he needed some muscle to help put the beast down permanently.

Right now, the agent and the OC were hiding behind a dustbin as the fake Vi visited the site where the replacement Ludlow had been torn to pieces. Falchion considered it best not to rekindle the terrible memories his accomplice had recently had wiped from her brain, let alone even try to explain to her why all that was left of this omnicidal, terribly written horror was a few scraps of torn clothing and a smear of blood.

"She can't see us if we don't move, right?" Sarah whispered. She was still somewhat taken aback by her new (proper) spelling and grammar, courtesy of a dose of Logicillin and a format reset from the freshly rebooted C-CAD.

"Trust me, she'll see us perfectly fine if you let her," replied Falchion. "I'm more worried about her smelling us out, though. Just stay downwind like I told you."

"It feels so… weird, being truly free from the constraints of this fanfiction," Sarah commented. "Like I've got more substance to back me up."

"That's something to talk about another day. If we survive."

"Noted."

The fake Vi had her back turned to the agents as she knelt down, sniffing the puddle of glittery pink liquid. Falchion smiled.

"The sea breeze is moving in our direction. She won't detect you until it's too late. Stay here and wait for my signal — I'm going in."

"Got it."

Falchion stood up, stepping out from behind the dustbin, and cleared his throat. The fake Vi stood up as well and turned to see whom she thought was Adam, wearing his bloodied suit, minus the buttonhole flower that he had apparently used to save 'Chomper' the T. rex's life.

"Oh, hey," she said, chuckling nervously before her gaze fell. "Sorry about what happened. I kinda lost it back there."

"No, Vi," Falchion replied, playing along. "I'm the one who should be sorry."

"For what?"

He paused, and then his voice turned vicious. "For ever wanting you as a girlfriend."

She blinked, unable to process this. "Adam, what? B-but… why?"

"Because you are the single worst example of how a Super should act, Violet. Or should I even call you that?!"

The fake Vi looked at him with a confused, horrified expression. "Don't you dare speak to me like that! Not after we won this night!"

"Correction. You won this night. And that, V-Wrex, is a very bad thing."

Sarah waited behind the dustbin, listening intently as "Adam"/Falchion continued talking. Any moment now, the signal would come.

"Violet Parr, a.k.a. Vi, UltraViolet, or V-Wrex: By order of the Protectors of the Plot Continuum, you are hereby convicted of being a Character Replacement on account of the following charges: replacing the canonical character of Violet Parr so completely that you might as well be a different and far more despicable person, seriously injuring said canonical character, threatening to kill people in response to your family being endangered — I know Mr. Incredible tried to kill Syndrome for kidnapping Jack-Jack, but still! — having a Speshul and ridiculously overpowered alternate form, curb-stomping a hybrid abomination that would have theoretically required at least 10 Supers working together to take down, flat-out refusing to have your human form restored to you specifically so you could fight alongside your family — like you couldn't do that already, right? — easily slaying a dinosaur that was supposedly even stronger than a Tyrannosaurus in its canon of origin, slaughtering dozens if not hundreds of enemy soldiers and having that treated as a heroic action, effortlessly winning a fight with an antagonist who was previously a serious threat to everyone, practically committing manslaughter, albeit of another Character Replacement, in front of everyone you fought alongside, including your own family (and giving a PPC agent a fucking heart attack in the process), and traumatizing and deeply enraging a PPC agent at the same fucking time.

"In addition, the person you brutally murdered is also hereby convicted posthumously of being a Character Replacement on account of the following charges: replacing the canonical character of Peter Ludlow, having a nonsensical relationship with a character from a different canon, wanting to exterminate all non-human life for no reason other than being a hateful, evil person — Anyone with even a remote grasp of ecology would know why such a scheme will only end badly for everyone, including the person behind it — being utterly incompetent at military training when he could have just hired a commissioned officer, callously attempting to kill millions of people for the sole purpose (again) of being evil, completely ignoring people's attempts to dissuade him from spitting in the faces of logic and biology, and being so totally one-dimensional and generic that literally any other 'Omnicidal Maniac' in most entertainment media would have made a better substitute by a considerable margin.

"For these crimes and many more, your punishment is death. First things first, though, I know you're starving after all this, so I shall offer myself as a final meal. I'll be at the trainyard; you have less than three minutes to meet me there. Until then, you can take things up with someone else who is understandably upset about tonight's fiasco. Stratogale… Sic 'em!"

With that, the disguised Skarmory took to his heels. Sarah wasted no time — she wound up and punched the dustbin with enough force to send it flying straight at the fake Vi. It smashed into her and ground her across the harbor, leaving a trail of pink blood behind her.

"Yeah!" she cried, pumping her fist. But then the dustbin began to move of its own accord. Next moment, a bright red, fully regenerated Tyrannosaurus rex reared up where the fake Vi had once been, tossing the dustbin aside with a flick of her titanic head. She glared at Sarah angrily, and then let out a roar so loud that the ground shook beneath her feet.

"Uh, Adam?" she called out in panic. "We've got a problem. A-Adam? ADAAAAAAM!"

Screaming in terror, she turned and took off into the sky as V-Wrex charged, her jaws open wide with murderous intent. She had to lure V-Wrex into the trainyard, but surviving the chase — especially without Adam's help — was easier said than done. She had to fly just low and slow enough to keep the Suvian dinosaur's attention, but just fast and high enough to avoid being eaten. This led to her dodging signs and traffic light cables, leaving craters in walls and smashing into street lamps with enough force to actually bend them. She could hear V-Wrex just inches behind her, tearing through abandoned buildings and crushing cars beneath her enormous, taloned feet.

Sarah flew into the rail yard, landing next to a random train car to catch her breath. She looked round, ready to take off again, but V-Wrex had gone. The Super took a deep breath, wondering where her brother was. When she'd heard that he was going to let the dinosaur eat him, she hoped whatever plan he had in mind was working and that he'd escape alive. But what if he was planning on committing suicide for his prior actions? And what if he was planning to take her down with him? Or was it someone else who wanted to —

Before she could finish that awful thought, the train car next to her was lifted off its rails. V-Wrex gazed down at Sarah with murderous intent, crunching the car in her tremendous maw. Sarah tried to take off, but V-Wrex threw the giant metal box at her before she could get high enough. It grazed her from behind, throwing her off balance, and she slammed to the ground as the car was smashed to pieces ahead of her.

The great, menacing shadow of the Suvian monster loomed over her as she tried to get up, only to discover that her leg had been broken by the crash-landing. With the tyrannosaur in front of her and the debris behind, she was trapped.

Then someone threw a bloodied shoe at Not!Vi, who turned to see a shirtless, pants-less Adam, who had apparently tossed off his tuxedo to reveal the closed-up gash in his stomach. He gazed up at her, his eyes full of despair, as she turned and snarled at him.

He did not run. He did not even flinch. He just closed his eyes, and spread his arms in a "come at me" gesture. Sarah's eyes widened in horror as she realized what was about to happen. She tried to grab hold of V-Wrex's tail, but her pain-dulled reflexes were too slow.

With a roar of pure hatred, V-Wrex cleared the fifty feet between herself and her former lover with terrifying ease, seizing him in her gargantuan jaws and tossing him into the sky. Sarah screamed in horror, her hand stretched toward him, as he failed to phase in time, plummeting into the monster's mouth. With a great gulp, she swallowed him whole, before turning towards his sister with a baleful glare.

"A-Adam… No…" she whimpered, tears beginning to form in the corners of her eyes.

V-Wrex growled hatefully, paying no attention to the faint beeping in her stomach — a fatal mistake. With a terrible roar, she began her final devastating charge, the ground shaking beneath her huge feet. Sarah closed her eyes, and waited for the end to come.

And then the dinosaur exploded. It happened so suddenly that the Super teen had no time to make sense of it; all she knew was that she was momentarily blinded by a cross-shaped blast of light, heat, and death. When Sarah recovered her sight a few moments later, the only part of V-Wrex that remained intact was her head, which had smashed into the ground and skidded across the rail yard before stopping just inches away from her.

There was no sign of her beloved brother anywhere. Sarah could only draw one conclusion: there was no saving him now. She was sure of it as she saw the vultures descending upon the unspeakable scene.

Actually, it was just one vulture. A long-necked, long-legged vulture encased in metallic, silver armor. It landed in the midst of the terrible mess, looking around, and then spoke.

"I can't believe it…" Falchion sighed in relief. "It actually worked…"

There was a beat of dead silence. And then Sarah herself exploded in a fit of pure rage.

"You… **MURDERER!** " she screamed, kicking herself airborne with her one good leg and dive-bombing him at top speed, her eyes streaming with glistening tears. The Skarmory had barely turned to face her before her fist plunged into his breast, leaving a bowling ball-sized dent and sending him clear across the train yard. His armored body plowed a hundred-foot-long ditch into the dirt, his mind racing with terror and confusion.

"W-wha?!"

"YOU KILLED HIM!" she shrieked as she soared up into the air again. "YOU KILLED MY BROTHER! YOU HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE — "

Falchion rolled to the side just as Sarah swooped once more, hollering some unprintable obscenity which was drowned out by her fist smashing into the earth. Where he'd been lying a mere half-second before, there was now a sizeable crater.

"Sarah! Look, I can explain — " Falchion began, but she cut him off with a backhand that sent him airborne. He tried to readjust his balance but ended up making a wide arc all the way back across the rail yard and crashing to the ground in a tangle of legs, neck, and metallic feathers. Looking up weakly, he could see Sarah hovering above him, ready to smash him to scrap metal.

"You," she snapped. "You set all this up. You were planning to kill my brother all along, weren't you?! Is that why you fucking tricked me into thinking you were him?!"

"That wasn't your brother," wheezed Falchion. "That was — "

"TOUGH FUCKING SHIT!" she cried in CAPSLOCK, raising her fists. "YOU LIED TO ME! You played me like a fucking PIANO when I mistook you for Adam!"

"Oh, so it's my fault that I am Adam?" Falchion squawked. "Or rather, I was him?"

That got her. Sarah's anger faltered, and was soon mixed with shock and confusion. "You… What… But you're not a… "

"Just let me explain myself, and then you can decide whether to pound me or not."

She considered this for a moment and then sighed, and floated down to face him up close, her fists still armed. "All right. You have less than a minute to explain everything to me before I go at you like a fucking car crusher. What did my brother ever do to you?!"

He sighed, his legs wobbling as he picked himself up. "I'm sorry, this is gonna be really cliché, but I have to say it…" He cleared his throat and spoke in a dramatically deep voice. "No, Sarah… I am your brother."

She blinked at him, unable to make sense of his words. "What?"

His crested head drooped in exasperation. Of course she wouldn't get the reference. "I'm the real Adam. The Adam you fought alongside before was a fake."

"A fake?" she gasped in surprise, still unable to trust him just yet.

"Sarah, you might want to sit down. This is going to take a lot longer than a minute, I'll give you that much."

Indeed, it took the Armor Bird Pokémon the better part of a half hour to explain the full story, including the true nature of the characters that he had killed off, his status as the true persona of the author of the fic, the faults and misdeeds of said author, his change of heart upon personally witnessing the outcome of said faults, and his atonement for his past mistakes by disposing of the people responsible. He even threw in a brief overview of the PPC, which Sarah took as slightly less of a shock than the Stu she'd helped to kill.

"Oooookay… I get everything now, especially the fake brother thing. But lemme get this straight: You're from an organization that kills bad guys in stories like this one?"

"Well, not exactly, no… People in my organization dispose of characters who truly threaten the very continua that people like you exist in. People whose selfish, twisted, badly written ways could destroy entire universes if left unchecked."

"I see," said Sarah. "So, does this mean you basically saved this 'continuum' from being destroyed?"

"Correction. We saved this continuum. And I can't thank you enough for it."

She pouted, her expression turning sour. "Doesn't excuse you from being a spitting image of that faker, at least in terms of your behavior. I almost got eaten back there!"

"And I'm very glad I stepped in when I did. I'd hate to think of what would have happened moments later. Still, I guess I'll have to make it up to you. Somehow." The Skarmory agent paused, thinking, and then smiled. "How opposed would you be to working with us? It would be better than ceasing to exist now that this fic has been killed, at least."

Sarah laughed dryly, and then sighed. "Well, I'd like to keep existing, thank you very much, so as long as you don't put me through deadly situations like that again, consider your offer gladly accepted. It's just that, y'know… life just won't be the same without a brother."

"Hey now, you won't have to worry about whether you have a brother or not. As far as I know, you still do."

"I — I do? B-but… how?"

Falchion smiled knowingly, and turned his disguise back on. Next moment, Sarah was facing the real Adam, in his torn-up Jurassic Park shirt and shoes, faded jeans, nerd glasses, and messy black hair. Only this time, his eyes were dark brown, as they should be on an Asian person.

"I'm so sorry," he said to her, bowing his head sadly. "Truly I am."

Sarah wiped a tear from her grinning face, before balancing her weight on her good knee and giving him a very tight hug. "You're completely forgiven, big bro. If anything, I'm just happy we're both alive."

Despite finding it a bit difficult to breathe, Falchion couldn't help but tear up himself as he returned the hug. "I'm right there with you, sister," he beamed.


	9. Epilogue: Heroically Ever After

**Epilogue: Heroically Ever After**

Falchion and Sarah burned the rest of their midnight oil cleaning up… well, basically everything. Getting the characters and continuua that had been involved in the fic back to their own stories was the first priority, along with finishing the memory wiping job that Mr. Dicker and (surprisingly) Edna Mode had started after the fake Ludlow had been killed. Falchion took this opportunity to teach Sarah, whose broken leg was now bound in a splint, to properly handle the Neuralyzer at every opportunity. She was tempted to actually keep her eyes open at least once when the device flashed, but Falchion turned her head away before any lasting harm could be done. Despite this and other minor mishaps, though, all the canons were restored to their original continua after five hours of nonstop work, leaving the two of them to clear out the rest of the damage.

Soon, the Jurassic Park: Municiberg headquarters went up in flames, lost what little temporal stability it had, and vanished in an instant, as did the Aperture facilities in Metro City and Isla Sorna. Tropicopolis, which technically wasn't canon, was cleansed of any foreign influence and allowed to assimilate safely into the _Incredibles_ continuum. This left the matter of getting rid of all the Suvian traces, which became much easier once Sarah had convinced the birds from the Municiberg Zoo aviary to help dispose of V-Wrex's remains. The vultures in particular were quite well-fed once the job was done.

As for King Krok, Falchion decided to make good on his partner's promise to deliver the creature to the DoMFF — after all, the PPC could always use another Sue-eating beast. Sarah's entire family helped with that, as her father's knowledge of sea creatures, her mother's ability to lighten the weight of a twenty-ton reptile, and her uncle's auxiliary control over certain water currents came in quite handy. Unfortunately, dimensional travel didn't exactly agree with King Krok's digestive system. As soon as he'd been placed in the massive fishtank the department had rushed to complete, he reared his head over the rim and vomited up a large pile of inedible material onto the Generic Floor, including several boat propellers, a crushed dolphin skull, eight rusted harpoon heads, the beak of a giant squid, a fully articulated _Deinonychus_ skeleton, an acid-corroded car tire, and a deflated beach ball. There weren't too many problems after that, though.

Finally, there was one last thing to worry about. Sarah's family, despite some minor writing flaws, were still salvageable in Falchion's eyes. He knew she couldn't bear to see them fade out of existence the way normal bits would once their story was killed. So he decided to help out by persuading Mr. Dicker to acquire some residences in Metroville for the Squall family, and also convincing the cloned Supers to become bit characters in their own rights, rather than facsimiles of bit characters who had been dead for at least fifteen years.

With the help of his Mutation Ray, Falchion made quite a few modifications to the cloned Supers' powers; since Sarah was good with coming up with names, so he let her take care of that part. Splashdown, Apogee, and Thunderhead became Maelstrom, Lassteroid, and Weatherman, respectively. Dynaguy gave up his powers in favor of becoming simply Police Chief Zuckerman, and Stormicide became his morally ambiguous mad scientist wife, The Chemist; their son, formerly Macroburst, became Stryclone. Phylange became the flirtatious Serenator, Plasmabolt became the lively Lightningbug, and Metaman became the mighty Sledgewhammer.

"But… what about you?" Maelstrom asked his daughter. "Will you choose a new name and powers for yourself?"

"Actually, I'm not planning to stay," she replied. "I just got a job offer from somewhere very far away from here, somewhere that takes care of bad guys on a whole different level."

"A job offer?" Kate piped up, sounding understandably worried. "But… you're only sixteen!"

"Uhhhh, I don't see anything wrong with that," replied Weatherman, who had kept his real name, Edward/Ed, as had been defined in the fic. "Though I'm not the best judge — I don't see anything wrong with much at all, really. Besides, as long as she's got her brother to help her out…"

"Uh, hate to break this to you guys," said Falchion, "but I _may_ have lost my pterosaur form after a pretty nasty freak accident last night. So if anyone asks about a guy named Terrordactyl, just tell 'em you've never heard of him."

"However…" Sarah added, pulling him closer to her, "my bro has a _new_ alternate form now. He's a giant bird, and he's literally made of _knives!_ "

Her now adopted brother chuckled, a little embarrassed, but played along anyway. "Seriously, don't ask how that works. The point is, I've decided to change my Super name to Falchion," he said. "It's a type of sword, it sounds like 'falcon' — really, it just makes sense."

David smiled. "Excellent. So… how soon will it be before you leave?"

"Kind of right now, actually," Sarah replied, scratching the back of her head. "They expect us over at their HQ post-haste."

"So I guess… this means goodbye," said Falchion, his face falling. "It's… not going to be the same without you guys, I can tell."

"Hey, look on the bright side," said Kate. "We're still a family. You can always visit us sometime."

"Yeah," Ed added. "During the holidays, maybe?"

"We definitely will," Sarah smiled. "We promise. You know, 'cuz we're justice, we're unity… we are THE GALEFORCES!"

"YEAH!" The whole family raised their fists skyward, and then came together in a group hug.

"Take care of yourselves, you two," said Dave.

"Don't forget to write," said Kate.

"And please see us again soon," said Ed.

"We will!" Falchion and Sarah said at the same time. And with that, the two of them bade a last farewell to their new friends and family, and Falchion portaled himself and Sarah off to the Medical Ward of the PPC HQ.

Finally restored to his normal form, Falchion felt as free as a bird, in more ways than one. Not only was he finally aware of who he was, but in a way, he also had a little sister now. Well, sort of.

"I guess things really did work out after all," he smiled.

"Indeed so!" Sarah grinned excitedly, bouncing on the balls of her bigger-than-average feet. "I can't wait to work for the PPC, or whatever it's called."

"We mostly call it the PPC," the Skarmory agent replied. "Oh, by the way, you don't have to call me Adam now. Falchion really is my real name."

"I still think of you as my brother, though. Same author and all that. So I'll still call you Adam, and if you think you can stop me, you've got another thing coming for you!" She punched her own palm as she said this, smiling mischievously.

"Well, if you want to, then go on ahead," he smiled, turning towards the portal they'd exited from. "It's not like I'm gonna stop you or anything…"

Holding down the R.A. with his taloned foot, he closed off the now killed badfic once and for all, his satisfaction lasting about a second before he finally noticed the utterly infuriated albino Sphinx who had been coiled up behind the portal.

"Agent. Falchion," Rashida growled, licking her chops menacingly like a lion confronting an injured gazelle. "What. The. _Fuck_. Do you have to say for yourself?!"

Sarah turned towards his partner, yelped in horror, and made to grab a chair, but Falchion spoke up.

"Sarah, don't. I'm the one who has to have to talk to her."

"The _Duat_ you do!" Rashida roared, her back arched and ready to spring. " _You_ did this. _You_ wrote… _ALL THAT KHARA_ … **AND YOU NEARLY FUCKING** _ **KILLED ME!**_ "

She launched herself at Falchion. Sarah cried out in alarm, but it was too late. Her forepaw slammed into him with such force that he went careening into the opposite wall, her razor-sharp claws actually tearing four great slash marks in his armor. He hobbled to his feet, but didn't take off. There was no fight at all in the poor bird.

"Don't even _try_ to deny it this time!" she continued, pouncing at him yet again. "I don't _care_ whether you really are your author or not! ALL I CARE ABOUT IS THAT THE BADFIC FUCKING EXISTED IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

Her claws tore a great gash across his neck this time. Thrown sideways, he crashed into a cabinet, equipment raining down upon him. With a roar of pure rage, Rashida fell upon him moments later. Every word of CAPSLOCK she screamed was punctuated with a slash of her claws.

"YOU. COMPLETE. _NIKOMAK_. _SHITHEAD!_ YOU _TRAITOR!_ YOU DID THIS TO ME! EVERY! SINGLE! _WORD!_ "

Falchion didn't even scream, despite the pain of her words and her attacks, even as Dr. Appleday burst in on the scene and tried in vain to force the mauling beast-woman off of him, her catnip inhaler clutched in his hand. Rashida was more dismayed to see him using Roost to heal himself, however.

"Rashida," Falchion started, "I'm so — "

"DON'T FUCKING APOLOGIZE TO ME!" she roared, raising her paw and preparing to crush his skull. "IT WON'T HELP! YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY I SUFFERED THROUGH ALL THIS, RIGHT?! IT'S BECAUSE YOU _EXIST_ , YOU INSUFFERABLE LITTLE — "

" _ **ENOUGH!**_ "

Rashida felt something cottony lash against her temple, and she whirled to face the source of the shout. Sarah was brandishing a rolled-up towel in one hand and a chair in the other — an amateur circus lion tamer.

"Leave. Him. _Alone!_ " the Super ordered, her voice threatening violence as she thrust the chair forward, snapping the towel like a whip with each spoken word. The Sphinx backed off, her feline instincts only able to focus on one thing at a time, therefore leaving her momentarily unable to make sense of the four prongs of the chair coming at her at once.

"I know you. You're from that fic, aren't you?!" Rashida growled, swiping at the chair in a vain attempt to get past it.

"Oh, yes," the Super replied fiercely, putting herself between her brother and his still furious partner. "And honestly, I don't think being so pissed off is going to help at _all._ "

"How can I _not_ be angry with him?! That fucking _vulture_ has been been giving me nothing but headaches ever since we met!"

"And you're not going to stop blaming him? What makes you think you've got the guts to yell at him even after he cleared things up?!"

"What makes _you_ imply that Falchion is superior to someone who _clearly_ has more experience than he could ever dream of?! That I've 'got the guts to yell at him'… Ha! Damn right I _do!_ Can't you see things from _my_ point of view even for _one fucking second?!_ "

Sarah paused to comprehend this. "All right… I may have worded that wrong, and I'm sorry for that. You have every right to be mad at my big brother — "

" _Your_ big brother?! For your information, your 'brother' was a _nikomak_ _Gary Stu!_ "

"Oh, _that_ pathetic attention-whoring _poser?!_ He's nothing but _vapor_ now, thanks to me and my _real_ brother!"

Rashida blinked in surprise. Falchion peeked out from behind Sarah and waved a wing in greeting.

"You heard me right," Sarah continued. "Falchion is a part of my family too for all I care. And yeah, I should be just as mad at him for what happened as you are, and in truth, I am. But you know why I'm not taking it out on him like you are? Because he took responsibility for his past behavior. He apologized to me, and I forgave him for it. And most of all, he made up for all of it personally. Well, with my help, anyway."

Rashida actually had to sit down on her haunches to think a little. "When I woke up in Medical," she muttered bitterly, "I was convinced beyond a doubt that you would fail the mission. That Stu and that Replacement were so powerful that I thought neither of you stood any chance. If you're going to apologize to anyone for fucking me _and_ the PPC over at the same time…"

She was rudely interrupted when Sarah reached into Falchion's bag of holding and pulled out two things: the Stu's glasses, and something else that quickly expanded like a scaly crimson balloon. An instant later, the gigantic, severed head of V-Wrex slammed to the floor with a loud thud right in front of the Sphinx agent, who actually did a double take.

"How's _that_ for an apology?" Sarah smiled, waving the glasses at her.

"I — but — how — " Rashida completely lost her ability to make sense of anything by that point.

Falchion chose to speak up at that point, for the first time in a very long while. "With a little observation," he said, "and a _lot_ of pain."

His partner looked around the dinosaur head, staring at her partner in total confusion. "But… but V-Wrex could shrug off tank fire!"

"And what about that Gary Stu?" asked Dr. Appleday. "Did you get rid of him too?"

"Both at the same time," the Skarmory continued. "Basically, you know that glowing orb you got mad at me for buying before the mission?"

"Yes? So you knew what it was all along?"

"An X-Bomb from the _Kid Icarus_ continuum. I checked the label, but I didn't think it would be significant. As it turns out, though, if you want to kill something that's fortified from the outside, you'll have to do it from within."

"But… where did that faker come in?" Sarah asked.

"Before I talked to you," explained Falchion, "I first stopped by the Department of Sufficiently Advanced Technology here at the PPC, and got them to wire a timer to the bomb that would cause it to detonate in ten minutes. Then I Neuralyzed the Stu to make him follow a specific set of instructions, activated the timer, and inserted the bomb into his stomach cavity. All that was needed after that was to stall V-Wrex until the right moment, and then get her to eat both the Stu and the bomb inside him. Two Flying-types, one Smack Down."

Rashida looked first to Sarah, then to Falchion with eyes as wide and round as gumballs. Then she snatched the inhaler from Dr. Appleday and took a deep draft of catnip-scented vapor. "Sarah… Step aside."

"But — "

"I said _step aside._ And lose the chair and towel while you're at it."

Sarah tossed the chair aside, barely missing Dr. Appleday. She briefly apologized to him and moved out of Rashida's way, though she still held onto the towel just in case.

Falchion waited for the final blow. What he got, however, was as close an equivalent to a hug as a woman-headed big cat could get.

"You surprised me today," Rashida almost purred, her great forelimbs draped over his metallic back. "I never thought you had it in you."

"I guess now would be a good time to say I'm more sorry than I can tell you. Rashida," he added.

She blinked in surprise again, but when she dropped down to all fours again, she did something Falchion never thought she'd do: she smiled.

"You really should've explained yourself sooner," she said. "But all the same, thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for owning up to your mistakes, and especially for completing the Duty when I could not. I guess the Hyacinth was right to give me a partner after all. Albeit a rather… _fowl_ -mouthed one."

Sarah laughed, and so did Falchion, Dr. Appleday, and even Rashida herself. Although in the case of the latter, it was still a dry, quiet chuckle.

Falchion and his new sister left the Medical Ward a half-hour later, with most of their injuries taken care of and with their souvenirs back in the Skarmory's bag. He was especially happy that Rashida had mostly forgiven him — the keyword being 'mostly', for she had still warned that she'd be keeping a _very_ close eye on him from now on, in case he or his author got into further trouble. One more task remained: to take Sarah to the Sunflower's Office for appraisal as an agent.

The two of them walked in silence down a random hallway for several minutes, Falchion's talons clicking upon the Generic Floor in sync with the tips of Sarah's crutches. Then he paused, turning his head to her.

"Hey," he said. "Thanks for sticking up for me back there."

"Anytime, big bro," Sarah smiled, stroking the back of his silvery, plated neck. "It was the best I could do. You saved my life too, after all."

Falchion smiled for her happiness, but then his gaze turned upwards in thought. "You know what, though?" he thought aloud. "I feel so terrible for our author after today. The poor kid's probably gonna lose _so_ many hours of sleep over what we've done."

Sarah patted the back of his head lightly. Well, she thought she did it lightly, though in reality he let out a startled squawk as his head snapped forward about a foot.

"Hey now, don't beat yourself up over it," she said. "Your author may have done a lot of dumb things, but he's not a bad person. If anything, he's probably looking out for you right now. If he didn't feel even a _teeeensy_ bit guilty about what he did back then, you'd still be a huge prick, and I would probably be dead. Probably."

"Maybe," the Skarmory replied with a dry, chirruping laugh. "Whatever the case, he probably regrets now that he wrote that badfic, if anything. For my taste, I'm glad he does."

"So am I. And if it helps you any, I don't think our author is ever going to come up with anything even half as bad as what we went through ever again."

"I'll take your word for it," Falchion replied with a relieved smile. "But… why exactly are you so confident in your assessment?"

"Because," Sarah replied as they headed off to the Sunflower's Office, "I have a feeling there's going to be a _lot_ of insanity in store for us."

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Author's Note (October 14, 2014):** _WHEEEEE! It's finally DONE! All 87 pages of it! I know this took a long time to write, especially considering that I had to squeeze it in between real life and other stuff, but taking on the 35-chapter-plus-epilogue monstrosity sporked in this story was my first priority upon joining the PPC for reasons discussed below, and I had to cut out a lot of the things I had originally planned to do in this mission to save space! My apologies in advance go to my betas for putting up with the blunders I made during the peer-reviewing process, along with having to wade through it multiple times over for at least a month._

 _First off, a bit of a backstory. For those of you who are unfamiliar with my shenanigans on deviantART, I used to role-play with a good friend of mine several years ago, and we would come up with a variety of different adventures throughout multiple fandoms. One particular RP, which was initially based on the idea of dead Supers from The Incredibles canon being resurrected, eventually led to the badfic that my agents took care of in this grand debut of a mission, whose sheer length should serve as a testament to all of the vitriol I've since reserved for it. Although I liked the concepts behind it, and the subject matter itself to some extent, a number of events happened since the writing that led me to become disgusted with it and all of its faults since then, and I have been meaning to provide a detailed critique about everything that went wrong with it for quite some time. However, I figured that a long-winded essay about the whole behind-the-scenes disaster would open up quite a few problems of its own, with me on the business end for obvious reasons. Having it run by the PPC for disposal, and my own current persona no less, was much more fun! I even got written permission from my co-author, whom I'll refer to as George in this case, both to spork the fic and to adopt one of the better-written characters from it as a PPC agent, so it's two for two!_

 _While this wasn't openly discussed in the mission itself, the biggest problem I had with this fic was the fact that I was at the time, to put it bluntly, an attention-whoring prick. All four targeted characters, the mishandled incorporation of so many continua, the pointless story arcs, and all of the senseless violence of the latter two episodes were all because I wanted to do everything my way, and not the way that would have been agreed upon had this story been created by a larger community. In my somewhat meagre defense, George basically had no idea where to go after the Donkey Kong Island subplot, and he therefore played along as I went. The worst part is that it was George who suggested the idea in the first place, meaning that I basically took over a fic that_ WASN'T EVEN MINE TO BEGIN WITH _. Thus, in the process of co-writing the fic, I let my grossly inflated ego not only drop a giant shit onto what could have been an interesting plot, but also ruin my self-esteem as a writer in the long term._

 _Mind you, the very same problems that led to that fic turning out the way it did also angered a lot of people elsewhere, both online and off, during the two-year period of its publication. So to these people, to George, and to fans of all of the continua that I so thoroughly disrespected while writing the fic, I owe all of you my deepest apologies for the way I behaved back then, and I sincerely hope that no one will ever have to go through what they did with me during that particular period of my Internet history._

 _With that out of the way, on to specifics! In the interest of not selling this badfic entirely short, the idea that it built upon in the first place, of dead Supers being resurrected, was actually one of the better-handled things about it, despite a few flaws in terms of canon characterization. We actually took the time to develop the characters in real time, allowing them to develop flaws as they went, even while the story itself became a twisted nightmare where I couldn't figure out what went where. The Squall family in particular, while not exactly the best-written OCs here, were quite a bit more tolerable than certain other characters. Sarah in particular, despite having a lot of personal traits that would be perfectly in line with a Mary Sue (stubbornness especially), was written with these traits as negatives rather than positives, which makes these traits more realistic. For example, there was one scene where she yelled at the Replacement Violet, but she had a reason to do so and that was because she cared for her friend's sanity, so compared to the fake Vi's motive to retain her OP T. rex form, her outburst seemed downright reasonable. Given the choice, I would gladly take the Squall family and other cloned Supers and start the whole story over from scratch. There's a lot of "what could have been" to be had here, and had I stayed within the Incredibles continuum, the result could've made a rather interesting read in my opinion._

 _Ultimately, I feel that character-wise, it was Adam/Terrordactyl who was the weakest link of the lot by far, partly due to essentially representing my own self in a poorly done manner. Word of advice: Never, EVER project your own self-image into your characters if you can help it. It's easy to see past someone else's nose (or beak, as the case may be), but it's a lot harder to look beyond your own. This is not to say that channeling what you would say or do is itself a bad idea, but you have to think very carefully — and more importantly, objectively — about how others would react. I had a lot more fun writing Falchion than Adam because his selfishness and lack of initiative — two traits I've demonstrated myself, to my own obvious detriment — are regarded as plot points rather than as irrelevant issues. Falchion gets a ton of flak from his partner because he nags, talks back, gets distracted, and in general has a hard time pulling his own weight until everything goes completely downhill. Adam… doesn't. No, seriously. There was one scene where he explicitly told the police officer character not to arrest him if and when he outright murdered the antagonistic Replacement, and he never got called out for it, save for a few lines expressing mild doubt. Yeah. Overall, I know I seriously tried to salvage the poor kid, I really did, but face it, he was doomed to extinction in the end and in retrospect, I should have realized that sooner. Ah, well. Hindsight is 20/20, I guess._

 _The other major calamity that resulted from my pandering for attention was the dumb crossovers. Literally the only reason I decided to include the Portal franchise was because I couldn't find a company within the Incredibles canon that could experiment with cloning, and even Aperture just doesn't do genetic engineering. Not to mention I got a note from someone later on pointing out that the events of even the first game would've taken place decades after the Incredibles movie or the date I set for the fic. Of course, aside from the obvious anachronisms, the crossovers weren't especially harmful… until Adam came into the picture. There was literally_ NO REASON AT ALL _to include the Jurassic Park series, except to explain how Adam became a pterosaur and to force everyone into, pardon my TV Tropes lingo, a "(Shoot the) Shaggy Dog Story". The "hub" continuum of the fic only mentioned dinosaurs very sparingly, I think once or twice in the comics, but apart from that, any involvement of prehistoric life, or genetic experiments thereof, is virtually nil. And I already covered the blatant plagiarism of the JP sequels in-story, so I don't think I'll need to mention it twice._

 _And then there was Episode 4… Dear Arceus. The moment Violet got turned into a T. rex a second time was the precise point when I finally realized that the fic was beyond saving. I still can't believe I decided to go through with the rest of it, and looking back, I believe the only reason I did was because I really wanted the antagonist Replacement to die in the most horrifying way I could think of and I needed a build-up for that. I still can't think about those last six chapters without shaking my head in despair. I mean, sure, at least my agents didn't have to worry about killing Not!Ludlow off themselves, but I don't think it would have made a difference anyway because what really mattered to me is that I let my ego do most of the driving, complete with the unbelievable carnage that such a mistake entailed. So overall, while there were many too many specific faults to cover in depth throughout this fic, pretty much everything was entirely my own fault anyway, so it was only fair to cut my losses for my agents' sake as much as my own._

 _On that pleasant note, I hope you've enjoyed reading the unholy abomination that was my inaugural PPC mission as much as I enjoyed writing it! And yes, Sarah is going to show her face quite a lot in my future PPC writings, because she's an awesome character in my book and it's truly a shame that her homefic ended up becoming the goretastic shitfest it was._

 _-SkarmorySilver_

* * *

This mission was written by SkarmorySilver of the PPC community. It is designed to introduce new readers to the Protectors of the Plot Continuum. If reading this mission has left you wanting more, searching Google for 'Protectors of the Plot Continuum' will lead you to our Wiki and Posting Board. See you around!

 **Disclaimer:** T _he Incredibles_ belongs to Pixar and Brad Bird. _Portal_ belongs to Valve. _Megamind_ belongs to Dreamworks Animation. The Marvel Comics Universe belongs to Marvel Comics. _Jurassic Park_ belongs to Universal Pictures and Michael Crichton. _The Matrix_ belongs to Village Roadshow Entertainment. _Death Note_ belongs to Tsugumi Ohba. _Donkey Kong Country_ belongs to Nintendo, Rare, and Retro Studios. _Kim Possible_ belongs to Walt Disney Television Animation, Bob Schooley and Mark McCorkle. _Ice Age_ belongs to Blue Sky Studios. _The Land Before Time_ belongs to Don Bluth. All other canon characters featured belong to their respective owners. The PPC belongs to Jay and Acacia. Agents Falchion and Rashida Mafdetiti belong to SkarmorySilver. The badfic featured in this mission belongs to its author; no claim of ownership is made by any members of the PPC - aside, of course, from SkarmorySilver himself.


End file.
